01/11/2026
Another long post alert….
Today has been two years since we got the call that my cancer was back and that I had went from “we got it all” stage 1 to stage 4. There’s been a lot of rough days in that timeframe….25 rounds of chemo spread over three different regimens, the opportunity for a trial that I was excluded from before it ever got started, and now on round 8 of a different trial that has resulted in reports with really good news as we progress along in this journey. I don’t tell you all of this for sympathy or attention, I tell you all of this to share with you how in the darkest of hours the Lord has not only sustained me, but grown me in ways I’d have never imagined.
I had a conversation with a friend the other night that we’ve been allowed to serve through 41 Ministries. We were talking about how God will send some of the most unsuspecting people into your life in times like these. She told me, “If someone would have asked me to name 50 people that I felt would show up in our darkest hour, your name wouldn’t have came up….honestly, your name probably wouldn’t have been mentioned at all regardless of how many we would’ve listed.” Now for some that would’ve stung, but for me…it was a testament to God’s grace and the work that he’s done in my life through this whole journey….because she was right. I wasn’t one that wanted to get involved in messy emotional situations that only cancer could bring. Now don’t get me wrong, I had no issue helping and doing for others, but it would be at a distance….a fundraiser or maybe taking care of something that required a strong back….but not wading off into a pool of emotions that comes with a cancer diagnosis.
I’ve shared many times that I was saved when I was 12 years old at Bogg Springs Baptist Camp up north of Wickes, AR. From that day forward I struggled with the purpose of life. It all seemed like a futile race to accumulate things….a big money grab where we leverage ourselves throughout our whole lives to have the latest and greatest “stuff”….a constant scratch and claw for title and position…..but yet it still felt fruitless and empty. I asked numerous people throughout my life that I felt were more spiritually enlightened than me what they thought the purpose of this life was, but none of the answers resonated with me. The crazy thing is, it was all right in front of me the entire time….see, what I experienced as a young boy was pretty common in a lot of our churches….you accept Christ, we get you baptized and on the church rolls, and equip you with a list of “don’ts”, which I consistently failed at over 37 years from the time I was saved….and even though I had read Matthew 22:36-39, I didn’t get it. I didn’t grasp what power came in those three verses, until this past two years.
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Now you may be wondering exactly how this all plays into what I’m saying, but I’m here to tell you that if you want true freedom….if you want true joy, strive to meet those two criteria every day. If you want excitement and fulfillment in life, earnestly pray to be lead of the Holy Spirit each and every day, listen, and then act in where you’re being lead…your life will never be the same and most certainly never be dull. There will be no question of purpose or meaning to your life….your life will merely become a vessel in carrying out those two commandments….and amazingly enough the list of “don’ts” really seem to become a non issue.
So I say all of this to offer words of encouragement…no matter what valley you’re going through you’re not forgotten and you’re not alone. Sometimes I’ve felt the Lord’s presence right with me the entire time, and sometimes I’ve let my despair blind me to Who was carrying me when I couldn’t even seem to stand, but looking back over the past two years I see a beautiful tapestry that has been woven with all of the encounters, relationships, and opportunities to serve others….and it’s beautiful!
I thank all of you so much for continuing to pray for Cari and me. Your prayers are the building blocks that have helped build the testimony written above. Your prayers are what has sustained us when we couldn’t sustain ourselves. Most importantly, your prayers are carrying out the two greatest commandments laid out in Matthew 22:36-39.
As I realized the other day that this week marked two years of this stage 4 journey, a song by the Crabb Family came to mind and I think it’s very fitting. The chorus to the song goes:
He never promised
That the cross would not get heavy
And the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered
Our victories without fighting
But He said help would always come in time
Just remember when you're standing
In the valley of decision
And the adversary says give in
Just hold on, our Lord will show up
And He will take you through the fire again
I posted a link to the song in the comments in case you’ve never heard it. Thank you all for listening to me ramble and thank you all for your love and support of not only us, but of 41 Ministries as we strive to walk out those two greatest commandments every single day.
