08/06/2026
Over the past 5 weeks, many of you have reached out asking if I'm okay.
I've answered that question in bits and pieces, but today I think it's finally time to answer it honestly.
No.
I'm not okay.
For weeks, my doctor has been trying to figure out why my health has declined so dramatically. I've had bloodwork, MRIs, scans, and more tests than I can count. Thankfully, those tests have not shown anything life-threatening, and for that I am incredibly grateful!
However, my Dr and I had a conversation yesterday. He told me that based on everything he has seen so far, he believes that a big contributing factor to what is happening to my body can be the years of chronic stress.
Other than the time I was recovering from my stroke, I have not had a single day off in six years. I have not physically seen my own family in six years.
For six years, I have worked 14 to 16 hours a day, seven days a week.
I did it because this is what the rescue became.
Over the years, dogs in desperate situations kept arriving. Some were surrendered. Some were abandoned. Some were simply brought or sent here and left because there was nowhere else for them to go.
Eventually, "one more" became hundreds of dogs, countless medical cases, hospice care, emergencies, heartbreak, and a life where there was no such thing as a day off.
And if we are being 100% truthful, I also was an easy option. I had a huge heart, I never said no, and people knew that and took advantage of it. There is no churching that up, I was used, it is what it is. But thats for the Good Lord's plate, not mine 😉.
People often see the happy adoption photos, the success stories, the before-and-after pictures, and the videos of dogs running free for the first time.
What they don't see are the thousands of heartbreaking decisions that happen behind the scenes.
The nights you sleep with one eye open because a Congestive Heart Failure dog needs to have breathing monitored.
The tears you cry over every life, every Vet bill, every food bill, every shelter utility bill and every hateful and negative comment you have to endure on top of it all.
Nobody sees....
The holidays you miss.
The birthdays you miss.
The family you miss.
The vacations you never take.
The meals you skip.
The grief you never have time to process because another dog needs you before you've even finished crying over the last one. (Side note: I have now held 32 dogs during their last breath. WITH ZERO TIME TO GREIVE)
The constant fear that if you stop, even for a moment, something will fall apart because history has taught you that.
For years, I believed that this was simply the price of loving deeply. That sacrificing myself completely was somehow part of my duty as a good human being.
But my body has finally said something my heart refused to hear. No human being can carry this forever.
Rescue comes with a cost.
The financial cost is obvious.
The emotional cost is enormous.
But the physical cost...
Sometimes it doesn't show up until years later, when your body finally says, "I can't do this anymore."
I love these dogs and rescue with everything I have. Clearly, I sacrificed myself for them.
But I would never again believe that the only way to love well is to destroy yourself in the process.
That isn't sustainable.
And it isn't something I want the next generation of rescuers to believe either!
I don't know exactly what changes are coming.
I only know that they have to, I no longer have a choice. If I continue living exactly as I have been, and doing exactly what i have been doing, there will come a day when it takes my last breath.
Aside from all that, thank you all for being so kind to my hubby these past 5 weeks. I truly appreciate each of you for helping him through!
💙 Crystal
