08/30/2026
Ole Goffstown, next week (8/31) is the annual running of the children (aka first day of school). May God have mercy on your morning commute.
As always, here are some suggestions from your favorite Fire Department:
The Yellow Submarines with Tires
- That flashing metal appendage that looks like a stop sign is not multiple-choice; stop your car.
- Yes, the submarine stops at all crosswalks. No, the helmsman cannot hear you screaming into your steering wheel. Stop tailgating them.
The NASCAR Pit Lane
- This is a drop-off zone, it's one day, not a tearful goodbye to college. Unlatch the kid, kiss their forehead, and push them out. They are resilient.
- Don't use this lane to solve world hunger or finish that classic look of smoky eyes on your mug. Do that at home.
The Neon Cladded Gandalf's
- Crossing guards are middle-earth wizards. They stop trucks with a plastic sign and a glare that mimics grandma's disappointment. Obey them instantly.
The Sidewalk Zig Zaggers
- Tell your kids to pause TikTok and look both ways (not up and down) before playing Frogger on Mast Road.
- If your kid rides a bike, strap a helmet to their noggin. If they complain it's not "cool", tell them cervical collars are worse!
Have a safe and wonderful school year! May your coffee be strong, your morning commute be stress free, and your child's sudden Ferris Bueller "fever" miraculously disappear the second the school bus drives away. (Bring us the keys to the Ferrari....for safe keeping!)