08/28/2026
august 27, 2013.
i took this photo in central park on my way to work.
i was a kindergarten teacher in nyc, heading in to set up my classroom for the upcoming school year. i remember playing katy perry’s “roar.” i wanted it to be our classroom anthem.
i had no idea i would never step foot in that classroom again.
that day, i was called into the headmistress’s office. when i opened the door, there were about six people waiting for me, including members of the administration and board.
they began asking about my dad, who had died suddenly the year before. they asked about selling his house and how i was handling everything.
i started crying, but told them i had sold his house and was looking forward to the school year.
then my direct boss looked me in the eyes and said:
“jackie, you’re not going to be the teacher anymore.”
i couldn’t understand.
“did i ever do anything to the children? did i do something bad?”
they told me no.
i asked what the grounds were for the decision. i left without an answer i understood.
the rest of the day is a blur.
i was offered a year of severance and great recommendations. i was told to “leave quietly.” i signed paperwork while so distressed that i didn’t fully understand what i was signing.
i never went back.
i had lost my dad. then my job, my classroom, my career as i knew it, and a huge part of the identity i had built.
eventually, i hit rock bottom. i went to rehab.
for thirteen years, i’ve barely spoken publicly about that day. and in the years since, it has often felt like i’ve experienced one enormous loss after another.
but i’m still here. still rebuilding.
thirteen years ago, i stood in my classroom playing a song called “roar,” thinking about teaching children to find their voices.
hours later, i was told to “leave quietly.”
it has taken me thirteen years to realize that leaving quietly didn’t mean i had to stay quiet forever.
so today, i’m using my voice.
xo jackie