11/11/2024
I don’t know why people think that trauma just disappears after adoption happens, or that adoptive families & kiddos no longer need support. Adoption is beautiful, but we have to remember that it also comes with so much brokenness.
I know because I’m living it everyday. As an adoptive mom, I can guarantee you that when the judge signs those papers, it may calm the chaos of the process; but it won’t calm the chaos that trauma brings.
All adopted children have experienced trauma—yes, even ones separated from their parents at birth. Trauma/abuse/neglect can start prenatally & we know being seperated from their mom who carried them for nine months in itself is extreme trauma. Trauma physically rewires our children’s brains which can cause attachment, anger & behavioral disruptions far beyond what society considers ‘normal’ for most kids.
This cannot & will not be healed overnight or by a judge signing some paperwork.
After adoption, it’s still a struggle for our families to find babysitters who can manage, friends that are understanding, teachers that are trauma informed or even health care professionals that fully grasp the effects of trauma.
Our children need gentle understanding just like they did before adoption took place; & adoptive families still need support so we can continue to do the hard work that helping heal brains & bodies affected by trauma entails.
