Message of Hope Nar-Anon Family Group

06/21/2026

June 21 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

CHANGING THE THINGS I CAN:

When I came to my first Nar-Anon meeting, I was overcome with pain and anger. I blamed the addict for my weight gain, but mostly I blamed him because I was unhappy. I knew I was not in the wrong, and I felt that what I said and did had nothing to do with my unhappiness.

I realized there was something terribly wrong and I did not want to go on living this way. I felt like running away from this awful life I led: being uncomfortable in my own home, being such a bitchy and ugly person, having this terrible heavy secret that my life was miserable, feeling such over-powering eternal guilt, and blaming myself for my son's drug use. I had to admit the unmanageability of my life.

When we went to family counseling, our counselor pointed her finger at me as the one who took care of and controlled our family. I was indignant, hurt and humiliated. How could she think I was the one who was to blame?

By attending Nar-Anon meetings, I learned what that counselor was trying to tell me. I began to get help in changing myself. Working the steps with a sponsor made me realize that I probably was as insane as the addict was. What an awakening!

Thought for Today: In Nar-Anon, I can look at myself, recognize my defects and work on them each day. I can let go today, realizing that my life is mine, and the addict's life is his. Today I can take care of myself and still be supportive of others, one day at a time.

“It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.” ~ L**h Walesa

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/16/2026

June 15 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

CHANGE:

My spouse was using drugs when we met, but things started to change for the worse once we married. All we did was stay at home and all our money was spent on drugs. Our relationship deteriorated rapidly. I always felt as if I was at fault even though I vehemently defended myself in arguments. When I was alone, I felt responsible for all that went wrong. My self-esteem took a dive. I started to change by placing restrictions on myself, and I stopped talking to friends, going out and taking care of myself.

My spouse changed and became physically abusive. One night, we had decided to go out with friends (a rare occurrence). On the way, we started to argue, and without warning, I was slapped across the face. When we arrived at the party, I struggled to hide my swollen lip. I can still feel the humiliation, the shame and how stupid I felt when I tried to make excuses. The drug use and violence continued to increase and finally, I mustered the courage to ask my spouse to leave. That same night I received a call from a rehabilitation centre – the addict had checked in.

Our relationship is slowly starting to heal. My spouse has been clean for a few years and attends Narcotics Anonymous. I started going to Nar-Anon meetings and now I work my own program. Nar-Anon meetings are my safe haven. I feel accepted, and without the meetings, I would not have had the courage to change, grow and work on my issues. I am shifting the focus off our relationship and onto me. I have stopped playing the victim. I have met amazing people at my meetings. I no longer isolate when I am in a bad space. I reach out and call someone when I am in need. I feel comfortable with Nar-Anon members because I know they understand and will not judge me. I have changed so much. It has been a slow process but an exciting and sometimes daunting one.

Thought for Today: I am changing, learning to accept myself and love myself. This has not been a smooth transition. I know that I need to take care of myself before I can contribute to any relationship.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/14/2026

June 14 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

OBSESSED:

Before I came to Nar-Anon, everything and everyone was my responsibility. I took pride in my ability to fix any bad situation and clean up other people’s financial and legal troubles. I helped the addict in my life avoid the consequences of his actions. I went from treatment centers, to lawyers' offices, to courtrooms, and to the probation office. I drove two hours to see the addict in prison and I drove him to and from work when he was in a work release program. I was a one-person rescue squad. After many years of this, I was an emotional wreck. I was exhausted, resentful, physically unhealthy, and spiritually bankrupt. I was out of control and I was alone. I finally found Nar-Anon.

It was a pleasant surprise to realize that I am not responsible for others. I am only responsible for my own actions and emotional well-being. If I am not in a good mood, I can ponder the reasons why and determine my choices. I can choose to stay in a foul mood or take steps to change it. The option is mine. I cannot blame others, and I cannot depend on others to fix it for me. I learned that my entire obsession with others was my way of taking my attention off of me.

Thought for Today: When I become obsessed with other people’s lives, I know it is time to look in the mirror and discover what I am hiding from.

“It’s not our disadvantages or short-comings that are ridiculous, but rather the studious way we try to hide them, and our desire to act as if they did not exist.” ~ Giacomo Leopardi

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/13/2026

June 13 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

FAMILIARITY:

By watching my dysfunctional alcoholic parents, I had become familiar with unacceptable behavior. I chose men that were alcoholics and batterers. My last lover was an addict. When we met, all of my friends were afraid for me, and even her friends told me that she was a hopeless addict. When confronted, the addict cried and told me that with the love and help of the right person, the habit could be controlled. I loved the addict and wanted to help; I was hooked.

The addict and her teenage daughter moved in with me a month later. I remember thinking that all they needed was a safe place to be without stress. I felt that she was the one. I remember thinking that we could save each other, and it was us against the world. The honeymoon lasted about three months.

When I joined Nar-Anon, I was trying to control everything while the addict was doing more drugs, and the daughter hated us for being together. I had hit my bottom. I sat in the meetings and slowly learned that I could not save either of them. I learned that in order to love another person, I have to love myself first; that the only adult I can take care of is me.

I also learned that people from dysfunctional families bring others into their lives that make them feel as they did in their families of origin. And it did feel like home: the love-hate relationship, the feeling of disgust, pity, and shame. I worked the Nar-Anon program and went into counseling, learning to keep the focus on myself. I became ready to leave the relationship two times, and both times the addict went into a recovery program, only to be thrown out a few months later. I was amazed at how slippery those situations were for me, and how easily I let myself be manipulated.

Thought for Today: I see how I joined in the dance every step of the way, preventing the addict from hitting bottom. I will keep the focus on me and keep going to my meetings, and work on my recovery.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you'll know exactly what to do.” ~ Michelle Ventor

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/12/2026

June 12 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

TODAY IS A NEW DAY!

I was a spectator on the sidelines of life, never a participant marching in the joyous parade of the living. I lived in fear of losing the addict to the disease of addiction. Watching the addict self-destruct made me resentful, and I lost the joy life had to offer. I perceived my life as one continuous nightmare. Then, with the help of my Higher Power, I found Nar-Anon. After my first meeting, I felt better. I did not understand many things that were said, but I could see that there were others in my shoes. They had experienced addiction, understood my problem, and yet they seemed happy.

I kept attending meetings, and slowly I began to understand the program. I could see the part I played in the cycle of addiction and the parts that are out of my control. I am not responsible for the disease of addiction, whether it is my spouse, friend or child who is suffering. I now know that “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” I also know that I do not have to enable the addict or protect my addicted loved ones from the consequences of their using. I can heal and recover regardless of what the addict chooses to do. I can wish my addicted loved one’s health, happiness, peace, and serenity, but they must choose how they will participate in the parade of life.

Today is a new day because I found Nar-Anon. In this program, I found the way to turn the focus from the addict to myself. I have chosen to step off the curb and participate in making my life a joyous one.

Thought for Today: I will choose to have love, laughter, serenity, peace, and joy in my life.

“The most important lesson that man can learn from his life is not that there is pain in this world, but that it depends upon him to turn it into good account, that it is possible for him to transmute it into joy.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/11/2026

June 11 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

PERSPECTIVE:

“E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stele” – (And so we emerged again to see the stars). This Latin phrase is the last line of Dante’s Inferno. After attending Nar-Anon meetings for more than one year, I am beginning to feel as if I have emerged. Out of the darkness, I can once again see the twinkling of the stars, both literally and figuratively.

I spoke with one of the members about how the little things in life that used to make me angry just do not seem to be that important anymore. I have been thinking about this aspect of the Nar-Anon message since I am beginning to see the stars. When I was first dealing with the disease of addiction, I did not see any light. All that enveloped me was darkness and despair. I did not notice the stars at night. In fact, I did not see the light of day, even though I was outside.

The little things in life that used to upset me are still there, but by working the Twelve Steps of Nar-Anon, they are no longer a source of anger. I have been able to put those little irritants into perspective and realize that in the grand scheme of things, my anger was not warranted. I am amazed that I can truly see and appreciate the light of day and the peacefulness of looking at the stars at night.

Thought for Today: While the addict may still be out there using and hurting herself, my perspective about how I should be dealing with her has made all the difference in the world. I am learning that I have absolutely no control over her, and I need to concentrate on my survival.

“Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.” ~ Abraham Joshua Heschel

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/10/2026

June 10 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

DEALING WITH ADDICTION:

I think that the message of Nar-Anon is taking hold in my brain. The first message - I have no control - is a great help. I have seen the addict on several occasions over these past few weeks. She looks terrible. I have no control over her, and I will continue to pray for her recovery.

Another new way of coping with this disease is that when I see my daughter, rather than getting angry, sad and upset, I will be grateful for the fact that she is still alive. I will be thankful that she is closer to getting some help. In talking with her, I have concluded that she does not want to be where she is. Her addiction does not mean that she does not love us. It means she is sick.

Several members in my meeting share how they deal with their addicted loved ones by turning them over to their Higher Power. I listen to the peacefulness in their voices when they describe how the Nar-Anon program helps them deal with the disease of addiction. This sharing of their experience gives me strength and hope. They have something that I want. Perhaps it is best if I do what they do.

Thought for Today: I know the tools that Nar-Anon has given me are working, and that is how I am able to find peace and serenity in my life.

“There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.” ~ Elie Wiesel

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/09/2026

June 9 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

TRUST – TOOLS OF THE PROGRAM:

My loved one suffers from the disease of addiction. By living with active addiction, I learned that I could not trust the addict. I could not trust that he would be honest about whether he was staying clean or using, how he was handling money, or if he was honoring any promises he made.

When I came into the Nar-Anon fellowship, I was afraid to trust a room full of strangers with my secrets. Then, I heard about sponsorship and decided I could trust one person. So I quickly chose a sponsor and shared my story.

I continue to attend meetings and call my sponsor when I need help. I use the tools of sponsorship, telephone calls and meetings, and slowly I am learning more about the Nar-Anon program. I am regaining my ability to trust in my Higher Power and others. As I continue to grow and experience the benefits of recovery, I am learning the importance of anonymity in the Nar-Anon program. I now know that I can trust the members, and today I share openly at meetings.

Other tools of the Nar-Anon program that helped me to learn to trust again, with the help of my Higher Power, are the literature, which helps me direct my thoughts to the positive; writing in my journal, which helps me understand myself; and service, which allows me to help others and appreciate my own recovery.

Thought for Today: When I begin to use the tools of the Nar-Anon program, I am able to trust again. I found a better way to live.

“Remember…You can do wonders if you keep trying. You can cope with anything; you really can. In-depth faith always wins over difficulties. Keep going strong with the excitement principle.” ~ Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/08/2026

June 8 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

STEP SIX:

Step Six is an action step. It teaches me it is time to slough off the old, to apply the new. I once heard someone use the illustration of buying a brand new leather coat and then slipping the old, worn, patched up corduroy blazer over the top, because it was familiar. I believe that I have to try to let go and let my Higher Power provide me with a new coat.

As I prepare and work the Sixth Step, I must remember to allow my old habits - perfectionism, chaos, self-doubt, and fear - to fall away. In this way, I allow my Higher Power to reveal new habits - forgiveness, acceptance, contentedness, and gratitude. I know that loneliness will not reign and depression will not get a foothold when I accept and use my new habits. Soon, I will know joy every day. It will come from within. It will not be tied up in external approval or recognition. I am not this person yet, and I accept that the process will take time and diligence, compassion and trust.

After years of practice, I still want things to be my way, but as I hand my life over to my Higher Power each day, I notice that changes are taking place within me.

It is why I recognize the loneliness now instead of being frustrated by it. It is why I know I can make a different choice next time, instead of wallowing in a mistake. It is how I know that I will not be in chaos forever. That is the only way to survive the discomfort of growth and the pain of change. I believe that the person my Higher Power is lovingly creating me to be is better than the person I am today.

Thought for Today: Hope exists even in the deepest valleys and caverns of despair. Its light guides me to higher ground. When I keep myself open to change, change happens. Slowly, a new person emerges... change is taking place.

“Suppose you wanted to talk to the stars, and you succeed, but it turned out the stars themselves are not on speaking terms.”
~ John Brunner, The Infinitive of Go

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

06/07/2026