HealFirst Perspectives

02/10/2026

01/03/2026

220.2K likes, 3105 comments. “Monks message”

11/14/2025

This season of my life, I have been taking lesson after lesson, after lesson on becoming healed first before doing the work with others in certain areas. This area of my life has been a tough season but now I get it and I am living it. So here is the lesson for this month that I believe will make a difference in the lives of those who read it.
LaRhonda Taking L’s : Lessons on Being Defined vs. Being Known
One of the lessons I’m taking in this season is...
A lot of people will try to define you without doing the work to know you.
They assume, interpret, analyze, and guess, all while avoiding direct communication. And if you’re not grounded, you’ll start reacting to their version of you instead of standing in your truth.
Lesson: Someone’s limited understanding of you is not your identity.
People interpret you from the level of effort they’re willing to give.
If their effort is low, their understanding will be low too, and that’s not your burden to fix or carry.
I’ve learned that connection requires participation.
If someone wants to know you, they ask questions.
If they don’t ask, they’re not ready.
Another lesson:
Not everyone deserves access to the deeper parts of you. Just because they are close, does not mean they are ready.
So here’s the L for the season:
I’m no longer engaging with people who try to explain me instead of learning me.
I’m responsible for my own identity.
I choose clarity over confusion.
And I refuse to shrink down for people who never took the time to see me in the first place.
I hope you learn this as well.

10/30/2025

Healing isn’t about reaching a finish line or destination. It’s about staying committed to your own growth. Every time you choose growth over comfort, or awareness over avoidance, you’re healing. No one else gets to define that journey but you.

09/27/2025

Curveballs are not just for baseball; they are a part of life and healing, too. What matters most is not the home run but learning how to stay ready, swing with courage, and grow in the waiting.

Life does not throw us straight pitches; it throws curveballs and some. Sometimes we swing and miss. Sometimes we connect. Sometimes we are holding it and do not swing at all. I call those " choosing your battle". Nonetheless, the real lesson is this: stay in position, stay ready, and wait gracefully.

This morning, I was thinking of my son when he played baseball. He is left-handed. His wing did not always match what the coaches expected, so they had to adjust to him instead of the other way around. It was a reminder to me, and I decided to share with you all that your uniqueness matters. You do not always have to bend yourself to fit someone else's mold. Just stay in the position and be ready.

Right now, life is teaching me lessons. Whether it is pursuing my Master's degree, raising my youngest son with all the love and resources he needs, rebuilding my community of love here in Texas, and adjusting to my oldest son's absence as he leads a new life in the Navy, life right now is about showing up for each pitch with patience, courage, and grace.

Healing is the same way. It is not about " winning" in the seasons of life. It is about learning, growing, and becoming with each swing. Sometimes, the wait between pitches is where the biggest growth happens.

08/24/2025

When you finally appreciate who you are, nothing stands in your way of reaching the people who are truly for you. Over and over in the Bible, we see stories where those who saved or led their people were the least expected, those considered unqualified, outcasts, or those who did not meet society’s standards.

I’m not saying I am one of them, but I understand now. To truly stand out, you have to step away from what’s normal, from what has been ingrained in you about who matters, how to act, and even what to believe about certain people or cultures.

Every day, I’m learning that becoming who you are meant to be requires undoing old patterns and choosing to see life in a different light. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. These steps are leading me closer to who I was always meant to be.

08/06/2025

When the Mask Doesn’t Fit Anymore
“Cry Like That To Heal Like This”

I used to feel like I had to be everything for everyone. Strong. Put together. Always sure of myself. Somewhere along the way, between just getting by and staying quiet, I lost sight of who I really was. Even moreso after my divorce and the birth of my son in 2021.

That’s what led me to write Right Identity in 2021. I realized we wear masks to protect ourselves, but after a while, those same masks start to trap us. I was juggling so many roles such as mom, nurse, wife, leader, survivor, but none of them fully captured who I am. It wasn’t until I left Tennessee in November 2024, that it all started to click and crash!

Moving to Texas wasn’t just about changing zip codes, it felt like everything I knew about myself was coming undone. It wasn’t the fresh start I thought it would be. It was messy, confusing, and honestly, kind of painful. I had to let go of the stories I’d built my identity around. But what surprised me was how freeing it felt to stop performing.

I’m not the same person I used to be. And I’m finally okay with that. The best part? I don’t feel like I have to prove myself anymore. I’m not hiding behind labels or titles. I’m becoming someone more grounded, more whole and more of me.

This is the first post in my new weekly series, “Cry Like That To Heal Like This”, where I’m sharing the real, unfiltered path I’ve walked through divorce, healing, and finding myself again.

💬 If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wondered who you really are after everything falls apart, you’re not alone. I’d love for you to walk this journey with me.

Follow this page and check out HealFirst Healing Center for deeper healing work, support, and practices.

07/27/2025

Hey Loves,

You may not know me yet. And that is ok. This page was not created for popularity or to go viral or anything. This page was created for real life from real life experiences, losses and a decision to heal fully, honestly and on purpose…from different perspectives.

My name is LaRhonda. I am a mama, a healer, nurse/social worker, writer, cycle breaker and a woman who has cried those gut-wrenching loud and silent tears when no one was watching and when others stare in awe. And now, I am building a life I do not have to recover from anymore. Going from survival mode to thriving in your healing is my charge in this lifetime.

This page, HealFIRST Perspectives, is an extension of the lessons and wisdom I have learned along the way, as well as collectively sharing others who have walked the uncharted path of healing. This page is where we “talk about it!” You know the stuff most of us skip over or hide behind: grief, growth, the “how did I get here?” But also the healing, the joy, the “look at me know.”

This page is a place for reflections, weekly posts (as Spirit leads), a space to cry out loud, laugh, learn, rebuild and... breathe again. It will also offer the invitation to rebuild legacy with intentions, not just for survival.

This page is not a place to trauma dump, create charity cases, a pity party and where we only discuss pain. We are not just surviving over here. We are growing from performing to becoming more of who we are created to be.

You will see me post once a week, sometimes more or less. I am navigating a new life in a new place, space and responsibilities, but I show up with intention, even when the pace is slower. It is a rhythm and alignment I am sticking to more and more these days.

I thank you for being here and taking the time to read my posts. Whether you are just beginning your healing or deep in the process, this space, this page was made with you in mind. So make sure you get your journals, voice recorders, etc ready because over here we will do the work and not speak on others not doing it because healing is action, not just talk.

Enjoy the rest of your week and I will see you soon.

04/10/2025

HFP: Presence isn’t the same a purpose. Just because someone shows up in your life doesn’t mean they are meant to stay or be followed.

12/30/2024

Healing Beyond the Armor: Choosing Wholeness Over Defense

I recently came across a post that reminded me how easy it is for us to glorify the ways our trauma has shaped how we navigate life. Statements like "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for" or "I learned to study people at so “I can stay ahead”, can sound empowering, but if we look deeper, they often reflect the survival tactics we developed in response to pain. Plus I was the one saying things like this not knowing any better.

While these might have protected us once, leaning on them too heavily can keep us stuck in survival mode. I was the type to always analyze, stay on guard even around family and friends. But yet in the end, I always felt the same... removed from connection. It's like carrying a shield long after the battle has ended.

But what if the true power lies not in what we've had to endure, but in what we're willing to transform?

Healing starts when we stop glorifying the armor that kept us safe and begin tending to the wounds underneath it. It’s not about discarding the wisdom we’ve gained but about asking ourselves: Am I living on the defense or am I living free?

Here is where I started to see a change and make the pivot in my own life:

Acknowledging the Hurt: Instead of me focusing on how trauma made me appear "smarter" or "one step ahead," I took some alone time to consider how it has made me feel guarded. Then I made the decision to start taking off that armor piece by piece, with help.

Embrace Vulnerability: Healing requires honesty with yourself. Ask: Am I using my trauma as a badge of honor to justify my distance from others?

HealFIRST: Choose to put yourself and your healing first. What that means is recognizing that defense mechanisms aren’t meant to be permanent. They're stepping stones to something greater.

Celebrate Growth: Instead of glorifying what you've overcome, celebrate how you’re growing. Healing is a rewarding journey toward wholeness. You will actually be happier to share your growth with others than to push a narrative you have not overcome.

None of us have it all together, but let’s challenge ourselves to let go of glorifying the ways we’ve learned to navigate pain and step into the fullness of healing. True healing comes when we truly learn to love ourselves first.

Question of the Week: What’s one step you can take today to let go of the armor and embrace your healing?

12/28/2024

Going into 2025, I am going to be talking a lot about healing. It may be a lot to some. To those that would like to see and hear the shares, wisdom and lessons, I will be here. The term healing may sound played or worn out. It is only because it has been misused and misunderstood. So here is my advice and thoughts for myself and others going into a new year or just starting today, to look at you and decide what is more important.
As we step into a new year, I can’t help but reflect on the importance of healing. It is not just for ourselves, but for the people we love and the legacy we leave behind. Healing isn’t easy, and it’s not always pretty. Sometimes it feels like standing on the edge of an abyss, unsure if you’ll ever find solid ground again. I’ve been there, and I know many of you have too.
But here’s the truth: Healing isn’t just for you. It’s for everyone connected to you. It’s for your family, your friends, your children, and even for the future generations who will carry the lessons of your growth.
2025 doesn’t need to be another year of carrying unhealed wounds. It doesn’t have to be a year of masking pain with temporary fixes or avoiding what hurts because it feels too heavy. Instead, it can be a year of choosing to heal, of deciding that you deserve peace, joy, and love, not just in pieces, but fully.
This isn’t about perfection. it’s about progress. It’s about letting go of shame, facing the hard truths, and stepping into a life where you feel whole and free. Because when you heal, you inspire others to do the same. When you choose peace, you create it for others.
So as we approach 2025, let’s make this a year of healing, for ourselves and for the people we love. The world needs more of us who are whole, grounded, and filled with purpose. This is where you find all need met without conditions attached.
I’m on this journey, and I hope you’ll join me. Let’s heal first and create a life we’re proud of. ❤️