I am a Daughter of GRACE, for years I was raised that there was so much I needed to do for Christ and that I was such a sinner and that my sins were as filthy rags. I was always taught about how wrong I was doing. When I became a teenager and even into my adult years I ran from God, did things my way. I made some decision during that time that God still was keeping me in His hands. When I realized
the world had nothing really for me, I knew I needed God back in my life. I am now … let’s just say 32 many times over. I have three wonderful children a step son who is blessed, 6 grandchildren who are just perfect in my eyes. My daughter in law- love her for who she is and glad to have known her, she did make a real impact upon my life. Someone I will always cherish. Today I was and giving praise as I always do before my feet hit the floor for the great day I will have. I have learned to always praise Him, because the praise is what sets the atmosphere for your day. Do I have perfect days, NO! I sometimes get really slammed with how much is my trust and faith in God. I have storms, but through it all I have learned to just look up to heaven and say “ you got this one right God” because He has called me to do things in my day that I cannot be distracted from. Oh I do get distracted and when I do, I am repenting for not trusting Him to take care of me. This was my first lesson when I surrendered my life to him as an adult. “How much do you trust me? “ took me years to understand it meant, my life, my family’s life, my children’s life , my husband’s life, my calling, my everything I had to trust him with. When the opposition was coming and I was being offended it wasn’t me it was to distract me from what I was to be doing. His work, my purpose of why I was created. Sure I was going through things, how we learn to trust and lean on Him, for years all I had to cling to be Psalms 91. Yet today that is where I draw my strength from. When you dig into the word and stop letting it be sugar on your lips or to your ear you can live a life of victory in HIM. He told me as I share my walk with others I in turn will be stronger in Him. We all go through things. So who am I a girl born into a family that went to church every Sunday, when I was born the enemy tried to take me out, Viral meningitis, the doctors told my parents if I lived I would have brain damage, not be able to go to school to learn anything. BUT GOD and a church praying. My family was a family that went to church, was very active in the church, but the love of God was not in our home. It was rough growing up, I saw a lot of abuse in different ways, non-s*xual. Then in my high school years I began to do different things – not s*x, drugs or drinking, but I doubted God and got very bitter with Him over my family and did a little in witchcraft, it is real and powerful, but yet it wasn’t fulfilling in what I was looking for. So I started looking for the wrong boys, yet God has his hands on me through all of this. When I was 18 I graduated and had met a man who I felt was what I wanted in life. After being married, I wanted to run with him in his lifestyle, BUT GOD protected me. It was at this time I began search why was I here and why was I born, what was life about. I went back to church picked by my spouse, got involved and began to have a relationship with God. God began talking with me and I began learning what real living was all about. I still had not surrendered totally to God. I was doing some things still my way. But I had begun to fulfill my purpose, I was working with the youth in the church and God was showing me things and sharing in my spirit what He wanted to do. I was excited I had never had this relationship growing up with Him in my younger youth days. The Word became alive I began digging, the pastor would preach I would take notes, I would go home and dig more. This went on for years. Then I had children of my own with my husband. This was a miracle in itself. I was told about five to eight years into our marriage with test that I was not able to have children after many different insemination and testing’s. Then one day I had a blood test done and it showed I was, but we lost that one. So we went to a doctor in this field and he did a simple test to show me that what showed as blocked many years ago was now opened, HOW a year of praying with a dear saint and going and doing ministry with youth and thanking God each time I saw someone else holding a child. I had to praise Him before I could see it. This built my faith level so much I was about 30 years old, but it was life changing to me, I followed the steps exactly what God had told me to do in my prayer life and digging and searching. I told people I was not perfect I had issues and problems I put it out there, yes I am a Christian and no I am not perfect, just forgiven. My marriage was not a marriage made in heaven it wasn’t the Cinderella story that I had wanted as a child when I was going to through the fights my parents had. One day God will release me to share that part of my life, or maybe it is on a one on one bases. I don’t hide it, my kids know our family life, and we don’t pretend at home we are real. But we know that Christ is the one who runs our home. We laugh and have fun, we don’t walk on egg shells we live life. My children have been attacked because of the life we live serving God and it was a lesson all of us had to walk through. Today all children are whole in Jesus and have forgiven all who have harmed them in the ways that they have been, yes there was s*xual abuse involved from others outside the home, BUT GOD has taken care of us. I as mom had to give it to God and get it under the blood, I am only an overcomer by the blood of the lamb, and during this time in my life I quoted that scripture a lot. I remember my oldest in third grade in the hospital, and me walking the halls saying thank you God we are not in the mortgage. She had taken a hand full of sleeping pills and went into seizers. I was called to the school that I worked just minutes from and took her to the ER. They took her to a hospital two hours away and she lay there, the doctor told us that with what she took her heart should have been blown apart and she should be dead, she lay in a bed with no machines on her and she was breathing on her own. All I could say was Thank you Jesus, the doctor looked at me and said yes you are right. This was the introduction of children and youth in our home. From this day forward we had some agency in our home in the way of working with our children of the way of emotional support. Later In years I found my son had also been violated, and seeking council for trauma was more challenging for him, we found it. BUT GOD had his hand on all three of our children. My middle child has some opportunities, but God told me she was made perfect for her calling for His purpose. One day we was walking and she has a touching fe**sh, we had to teach her what she could touch and what she couldn’t. She still to this day is a learner by texture. One day I went to correct her on touching a child and he told me she is given the gift of Healing and as she touches the children they are being blessed through her. That what I saw as a disability was her ability in her calling for the purpose she was created for. From that moment on I saw all children differently. Each one of my own children I had asked God for while I carried them to be created in His image as He created them to be. Have I been through trauma YES I have, does God love me, YES He does, Why did I go through what I have been through? To know what and how and why it feels when other come to me. There is more to my story, and one day I will tell it all. BUT I tell it to brag on HIM because without HIM I am NOTHING and IN HIM I am everything. Jesus said his own received him not, I get that, He understands Me and that is all that matters, because HE love me, and that is what I Need to share. This morning He woke me up from a vision of Hyena biting at me and me shaking them off, then telling me that I have passed an am moving to the next level in HIM. Walking with Him is not always ease, yet it is wonderful, because you know He has your back. He always prepares you for what is coming, He has always for me, the good and the not. The Holy Spirit is wonderful that way in being your comforter and abiding with you. I am excited because yes there will be a new level of help me Jesus get through this, I know you have my back, there always is. BUT God is there to carry me and guide me into this next step in HIM. Where it goes is all up to HIM, I am just a willing servant that has said Yes I trust you, use me. He says if you are faithful over a little I will make your ruler over many things. Matthew 25:23 I want my life to bare much fruit and the fruit I want it to bare is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control why because He is my light to shine before all children, John 15:8, Gal 5: 22, John 8 : 12. I trust and lean only on HIM Prov. 3: 5 and 6 and because of this I am able to do 9 and 10. This is who I am ….. God is Good and Everything that I have comes from Him, I live and breathe in Him and He is my Father, My daddy. He takes care of me when no one else will all that he asks is that I have faith and trust and obey Him. He has my back and has sent me the comforter so that in Him I have all power ( Acts 1: 8) to bring down strongholds that stand in His way to continue the fruit from being spread to His Glory. There is so much more scripture, but when I tell you I have been to the front lines, I have been. The only one in my life I have learned to trust is Jesus, why my circle is so very small, but I love you total and unconditionally in Jesus name. Why I say I am and you are daughter of the most high and only by His Grace. Love you for who you are
