Against All Odds Recovery

Against All Odds Recovery An effort to transcend statistics and to free addicts such as myself. Here we go. Against All Odds

01/06/2024

Every now and then, I am presented with a flashback from my worst years in addiction, and the sensation of complete despair and panic that was a constant. It makes me feel for the people out there on this rainy day, just trying to quiet that fear and worry. Along with hoping to have money for a hotel room tonight....the next thought I have is that there is no easy or simple solution to situations like that....the main thing I want to communicate to that person would be that they aren't alone, even though it seems that way. You can definitely call me, I truly understand and share the disease of addiction with you...and if you can, try and understand there is a way to live without that despair. There will be wreckage to clean up, and a new path to plow, but all that can be done, without the sensation of panic plaguing every second.....just keep your head up, and know, somehow someday you will have a chance to smile.... sometimes when in the heat of battle, all you can do is just don't stop fighting......if an opportunity comes to go to treatment, jump on it. Message me if you want to talk or have any questions.

09/06/2023

The great dilemma with addiction with a lot of people, I have come to find out, is the illusion that they still have a choice whether they do it or not.....I remember back to when I was 19, and I went to rehab for the first time. I remember being in rehab, and feeling like I just needed to detox, and I'd be good. I was 100% convinced I would never touch it again...they told me I was powerless, but that didn't quite land....I stayed 10 days, and felt I was ready to go home...... within 2 weeks, I was using again. During that spell, I applied a great deal of introspection into my thinking. I felt like there was an option if I used or not, but I kept thinking back to the idea they said I was powerless. I reflected back at how convinced I was that I was done with it, but somehow someway I was using again. The realization of powerlessness became known to me at the age of 20, and I returned to rehab. This time I didn't want to leave the place when my time was up and I had my first true real deal connection to a spiritual dimension within myself....years go by, and with a spiritual connection life improved greatly. I achieved many goals and dreams....I was an overall happy person.... unfortunately, something occurred in my life that ignited immense pain stored from childhood. In experiencing that pain, I became unconscious and lost my ability to make a sound decision, and most of all, I forgot I was powerless. The details of the life situation that led me to use for the first time and relapse aren't important, what's important is, that when my brain felt that rush again, my ability to choose was completely gone, accept this time I knew it from the start. I consciously watched myself day in and day out be a slave to my mind until I lost everything. I lost everything, then I lost my identity, and then I even thought I had lost my soul....I would later find out that losing my identity offered a freedom I couldn't imagine, but still I had to get clean. I simply couldn't. I was fortunately sent to prison, and was fortunate enough to reestablish my spiritual connection, and oh my has it been a journey. It continues to be a blessing. Spiritual progress and healing is something the egoic mind can't even imagine or make sense of. I'm just so fortunate and blessed that the first step in spiritual awakening happened long ago, and I was able to return to my spiritual journey. Step 1 isn't something you get to decide to do. It happens to you. You come to REALIZE the REALITY that no matter what my mind is telling me, actually, I'm POWERLESS....the greatest gift an addict can receive is that REALIZATION....it's the portal to a new kind of existence altogether....so grateful.

09/05/2023

There's hope guys... there's more than hope. There's a possibility that you can't see at the moment, but I know you're tired. You can break the cycle. It always either seems like there is no way out, or it does a dance of presenting like just one more is ok. Both are illusions. The realization that it is an illusion, and that you are powerless, calls for you to take action that goes against your reasoning. Your mind poses endless reasons why you can't leave to go to treatment, but you can. The mind says, "if I just leave everything and go to treatment everything will be gone or ruined when I get back." That's another illusion. The reality is, if you don't go, all will be lost, and if you go, everything can begin to heal. Break the cycle. 🤙

08/22/2023

The illusion of just one more time is the illusion that you'll never find the end of......but the moment you see it is an always changing and always renewing ILLUSION, there is a chance to find freedom.....as long as you feel there can be just one more time, you will be trapped. 🖤

08/09/2023

When and if, you ever reach that moment of complete exhaustion and defeat. When you absolutely are hopeless, and you are in total disconnect with your soul. When you realize there is no way out and you say to yourself "I'm going to die this way".....in that moment, TRUST ME THERE IS HOPE AND FREEDOM!!!!! ....it is in that moment of brokenness, that a new door for change is presented.......to someone on the outside thats looking in, AA or NA may seem weird or funny, but it's a collection of souls that are making art out of the broken pieces of themselves left from ADDICTION.....take someone's hand and ask for guidance. In that moment, what do you have to lose????? ...but you simply can't imagine what you could possibly gain..... surrender your pride and ego, and take someone's hand!!! 🖤

07/30/2023

Addiction takes our existing psychological wounds, and uses them against us. Our natural tendencies to feel guilt, insecurity, distrust, fear, shame, etc. are amplified while using. All of these existing tendencies manifest in different ways. We may experience them as anger, resentment, violence, or disdain, but these expressions are just modified forms of the pre-existing psychological wounds we have from childhood. It's important to know and realize, that sobriety doesn't only grant you freedom from active addiction, but it offers you a chance to do the deep internal work that will free you of the bo***ge of our wounded selves. When we free ourselves of all that damaged programming, we simply experience life in a different way. Just so much quality can be brought to our existence by removing those psychological dilemmas.....so don't fight to get clean so you can become the person you used to be, fight to get clean so you can find freedom, and live the life you WANT TO LIVE!!! 🖤

07/21/2023

Eckhart explores three profound topics: the transformative power of suffering, the symbolism of the cross, and the purposeful nature of our human experiences...

It was brought to my attention by someone I think very highly of in NA that my writing style may be a miss for some peop...
07/17/2023

It was brought to my attention by someone I think very highly of in NA that my writing style may be a miss for some people I'm trying to reach. While I may respond better to certain terms and a certain delivery style, others may not. So I'm going to try and do a better job of using my the way I speak verbally ..... basically what I've been saying, or attempting to say is this. I'm an addict. A real one. One that has had a mind sick enough, that it took me to places and into life styles that made me willing to ask for help to gain freedom from active addiction. I say that only so, if you're feeling like, this guy ain't no real addict, what does he know about real addiction. Well contact me, we'll talk about a few things that will make you a believer ...try me....also, and of equal importance, what I'm trying to communicate is that you don't have to be miserable. Being miserable is another symptom of our broken minds. My life, externally, has more than enough justifiable reasons for me to feel gloom and doom...but check it, I don't, I don't feel that way at all....im happier and mentally healthier than ever before, without question....and it's not because I'm special in any way. It's not because of money, or this or that, or I have some funky secret or belief....true peace, happiness, and contentment isn't something you find, it's something you cultivate...and what I'm saying is this...if you're interested, some people have showed me a few simple routines and habits to put into place that will cultivate those things, and I want to pass some lessons along, or point you to the people that are helping me.....if I wasn't feeling the growth and serenity for myself I would doubt it too....hit me up if you're tired and open to finding some mental rest. It won't be me helping you, it will be us helping one another.

Not sure why it posted the picture with the post.

Eckhart Tolle.....he is the author of "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth"
07/15/2023

Eckhart Tolle.....he is the author of "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth"

07/09/2023

The goal isn't to be the same person, except without the drugs. The goal is to use the pain and suffering caused from active addiction, and use it to fuel growth, that transcends typical egoic thinking. Growth and healing that reaches the soul. So that our complete experience as a human is far more abundant than it ever would of been had we not experienced that pain. The pain can later be seen as a gift, that enabled you to actually LIVE, instead of merely being alive......who would want to get clean and sober just to be miserable for the rest of your life anyways? Getting clean isn't the goal, it's the starting necessity to begin an awakening that all of humanity could benefit from.......I know the way I word things are in a non typical way....but I can assure you it's application is both practical and simple......holler at me if you ever want to talk, if I can't help you Ive got a solid group of guys that can......peace isnt a fairytale, and it isn't a concept, it's a real deal state of mind or being that can be reached. Holler at me.

07/05/2023

The sensation or thought that "man that was a rocky road, I'm so glad that is behind me" is an egoic delusion. The feeling of finally having this thing figured out, and that it's easy to see why we kept failing, is a breeding ground for failure. Each moment we have clean is a miracle. We have a momentary reprieve from active addiction, contingent upon our humility and willingness to put in the work necessary for psychological and spiritual growth. When contentment sets in and progress halts, the mind and it's trappings of emotions and stress will surely catch up. With the proper mantanance and effort, a momentary reprieve is possible. Now, if that momentary reprieve happens to last the rest of your days, then that will of had been an active miracle in motion. The motion of that miracle will always be enabled by humility.

Note: The desire to drink or use does fade, and your daily battles will no longer be in the way of fighting that impulse, it will be a daily dance of bettering and enriching your life, as you experience it. Our life experience will no longer be plagued with that haunting sensation of lack and despair. Instead, with many clean moments having gone by, and our self awareness growing, our experience of life will be one filled with more love, appreciation, and beauty than we ever thought possible. 🖤

06/10/2023

I think it's so important to unravel the misconception that drug addicts run around thinking about how awesome it is to get high......sure, in the beginning, there is a euphoria that the drug induces, and there is a freedom from the broken loop of thoughts the user experiences. As addiction matures, and the more enhanced it's ability to persuade thought becomes, all of that good happy s**t goes away. A true addict is stuck in a loop like an addicted lab rat in a study, and simply doesn't have the mental faculties or tools present any longer to break the loop....the obsession and power that the cravings has on your mind is simply not understood. That goes for the public and the addict him or herself. A true addict wishes there was a way out, and the fun faded long long ago. I can assure you there is no illusion that waking up dope sick with no means to cure yourself and a feeling of complete desperation to find a fix for it is not some planned out dream of having fun.....no one, I mean no one when they were a little kid said they wanted to grow up to be a dope ju**ie and to know and live the horrors and emotions of addiction....and if it was as simple as just quit, addiction wouldn't be a problem in society, because addicts would just quit.....but it's that gray area about addiction that needs to be shared. The reason that from outside looking in it just doesn't make sense. The missing variable that allows people to maintain constant judgement of addiction. The thing that if understood would bring a healing and empathy to our country....it's the affect that presents itself after hundreds or thousands of times of using a substance or doing an act that activates the rewards process in your brain.....it's the dawn of a new day though, in 50 years this will all be common knowledge....I just want to do my part in helping that NOW.

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