Phlight Club

06/23/2025

Almost everyone on my Facebook feed knows me and the work I do. And while almost all Americans are concerned about our country, I remain concerned about our children and teens.

By my reckoning, if we take care of our children and teens, then, America will be better than ever.

I invite you to come play alongside us. It's actually quite revolutionary to "see youth in full color." (We just do it more quietly.)

www.webupinar.com

Click the link to learn more. I hope you can forward this to some of your friends who are thinking about their kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, and the kids around each of them.

It's free.

webupinar.com

10/24/2024

You are going to see a lot more about the Kalos Eidos Foundation in the months and years ahead. It is NEVER too late to do new things. NEVER.

kaloseidosfoundation.org

10/24/2024

I enjoy posting Full Color insights on FB. And I understand the TL;DR (too long; didn't read) barriers that are inherent when scrolling.

Several years ago, I opened an online community through Mighty Networks. And, while we had over 800 members, it was clunky and didn't meet our collective and individaul goals.

The platform, as it happens with technology, is far more easy to use today. I recently removed 750 names from the plaform, only keeping the people who had engaged in the community in the past 6 months.

I invite you to join the PHlock community at www.webofsupport.info, where we dive deep into understanding the Full Color Web of Support and what it means to see in Full Color. Together, we explore how expanding ones Web of Support strengthens resilience, enabling people to try new things that will not only grow their support network but also their “balloon” of personal strengths, talents and gifts. The PHlock is free to join, and you’ll have access to regular WebUP-inars and online courses designed to help you and those you care about thrive through deeper, more connected relationships. I hope to see you THERE. www.webofsupport.info.

Web Of Support is a Mighty Network. Join us to share your tips, tricks and stories with other members.

10/22/2024

Remember, Anchoring is like flying a kite…

Anchoring a kite and anchoring a youth have common attributes when we think about the triune nature of the Web of Support and its being a safety net, filter (dream catcher) and launch pad. Both the kite and the youth are born to soar and rise high, but their flight depends on the balance of support and freedom provided by the ones who holds the strings—the anchors.

Imagine flying a kite on a breezy day. The string, like the guidance provided to a youth, is a tether that ensures the kite doesn’t lose control or crash. As you gently release more string, the kite climbs higher, its colorful beauty revealed more fully in the sky. Similarly, when we Anchor or support young people, we hold their tether rightly through our authenticity, competence and empathy. We know when to give them more freedom, more experiences, so they can rise, both emotionally and mentally.

As anchors, we sometimes need to provide resistance. When the wind is too strong, holding the string tightly ensures the kite doesn’t get carried away or torn apart. This is akin to setting boundaries, guiding youths away from risky behaviors, or helping them avoid situations that could harm them—much like the story of Icarus, who ignored his father’s wise advice and flew too close to the sun. His fall was inevitable because he lost sight of the balance between freedom and responsibility.

A well-anchored kite, like a well-supported youth, can rise into its full potential. And “height” here is not just about material success or achievement; it’s about becoming who they are meant to be, manifesting their unique gifts and talents. Anchors must understand the balance of when to release more string and when to pull back. Too little freedom, and the kite never rises. Too much, and the kite spirals out of control. (This is why all youth need 5 or more Anchors, so the youth gets access to different flying styles and access different skills so they can make choices as to how to use these lessons and gifts. Diversity is good - it allows the youth freedom to practice choosing.)

Lastly, if the string breaks or the anchor lets go, the kite crashes. Similarly, when a youth’s web of support is cut—when they lose connection with the adults who ground them—they can feel lost and unsupported. A strong web, with several anchors, can catch them when they stumble, helping them find their footing again.

So, as we guide youth, we are both tether and wind beneath their wings. We help them fly higher, with the knowledge that our presence keeps them grounded, even when they soar.

10/18/2024

This evening, I find myself reflecting on my mom, with deep appreciation for all that she is and all she has been and done.

From the moment I was born, she has been my biggest cheerleader, Anchoring me through every high and low, and sacrificing so much to ensure that I could have opportunities, learn skills, find my talents, and move into life’s stories. She has blessed my risks and adventures, all the while wringing her hands, fingers crossed, expecting that things would turn out OK enough.�

Her life has been one of enlightened self-interest, a concept that beautifully aligns with our Full-Color Web of Support work. It means that by postponing some of her own gratifications and pouring her energy into building a web for us, alongside us, and within us - us = her children, she has found her path as an Anchor—a vital role that has made her life better for her head, heart, and soul.�

My mom is kindness personified. Rarely, if ever, speaking a negative word about anybody (even, if in my opinion, they deserve it.)

She has an deep sense of justice and always stands up for the underdog. At times, she can be a fierce lioness, protective and strong. Yet, most of her life, she has been like water—flowing, patient, and steadily carving new pathways into minds, hearts, and souls no matter how long it took. Her focus is relentless, yet her presence is always soothing, like a calm river that never dries up.

She grew up on a farm, toughened by the earth and the hard work it demands. She chopped wood and carried water, both literally and figuratively, long before those tasks became symbolic of resilience. Her strength and determination were cultivated on that land, the same land where I now live. It’s in this house, where generations of my family have lived, that I feel her roots and the strength of her spirit most strongly.

She has made good choices. For one, she married my father, a good man and a good dad, and together they built a web of support not only for me and my brothers but also for the countless children they’ve touched through their lives. This web of support was their gift to the world, and it is woven with love, sacrifice, and the values they hold dear.

It would be pointless to try to rank mothers or measure their talents and skills against each other in some ridiculous competition. Instead, what matters most is FIT. And my mother? She fits me perfectly. She was made for me, and I for her.

She is exactly the mom I’ve always needed, and for that, I am endlessly grateful.

I love you, Mom Karen Winje Peterson

10/16/2024

Sometimes people ask me "Derek, what do you do?"

This is part of what I do...

Central Presbyterian Church | Saint Paul, MNOnline worship for September 6, 2020Re-Membering: Connection as ResilienceIn his work on increasing and sustain...

10/13/2024

Today, Sunday morning, we close out this chapter of the books that Dee Bigfoot and Beverly FunderBurk have written in their lives. They have loved well. They have lived in Full Color. I am blessed to have them each and both in my the story of my life.

10/11/2024

Margaret is the third of the original 13 Grandmothers that I have had the privilege of meeting. I knew Rita in Alaska, and met Mona in Airzona. They are all warriors for children, youth, and the webs of support they need to have beautiful lives.

10/10/2024

Young people have always taught me so very much. And, Claudia Aqualia was one of my best teachers. Yesterday we spent time together, talking about life, what we are learning about ourselves and others, Anchoring our children, and the work and value of owning our own homes and juggling all of the details of a life. I am so very honored to hav e been able to keep good people, like Claudia, in my life. PHamily.

10/03/2024

Call and Connect: Your Voice Matters
+1 701-409-0607

Over the past 9 months, 93 individuals have called +1 701-409-0607. Most let me know what was going on in their lives, from deep grief, personal reflections about heart break and disappointments, and the stresses of life. Some left their names, a few offered kind words, and some asked me about my life. It is important to tell you that “no one asked for advice.” We just want to be heard - “we’re not broken, we need a web.”

I need witnesses to my life. My PHamily and PHriends are my safety net, dream catcher and launchpad. There’s something deeply powerful about hearing a voice, its tones, and pauses that convey more than any photo or post on social media ever could.

This number, +1 701-409-0607, will remain open forever. It’s a place where you leave a voice a 3 minute voice mail. (Should you need more time, just call back - many do.) If you want someone to listen - to hear you, I’ll be here. Whether you want to share your thoughts, tell me something you are reading, or simply say “Hi, I’m thinking about you,” it will matter.

If you’d like me to respond, please leave your name and number. Call as often as you like, and know that I will listen to every message left. I promise.

How’s your Web these days? How’s your balloon? How’s your soul?

Call anytime. I’m here to hear.
+1 701-409-0607

10/01/2024

I remember back to 1974, waiting for the “school’s out” bell to buzz and release me back into the wilds of my village and its surrounding landscape. Time ticked so slowly then.

Today I see many Anchoring adults “watch the clock but look at the calendar.” Meaning we still have the cultural tendency to focus on the immediate while neglecting the broader, long-term context of the young people in our midst. We too often prioritize short-term goals and pressures but fail to appreciate or understand how these fit into the larger, intergenerational vision. When applied to integrative youth development™, this perspective can significantly influence program design, evaluation, and engagement strategies.

Integrative youth development aims to nurture young people in a way that considers their holistic, long-term growth within their social ecosystems. The Full Color Web of Support recognizes that developing youth is not just about addressing and changing immediate needs or behaviors but also about creating a sustainable personal village that will contribute to their resilience and self agency over time and across generations.

The concept of looking at the calendar rather than just the clock aligns with the idea that youth development efforts should consider the impact of today’s interventions on the future adults these young people will become. When you see in Full Color you see the interconnected nature of PHactors ROYGBIV, which are not isolated efforts but parts of a broader developmental web that extends into the future . A well-designed youth program should therefore aim to weave a network that not only supports immediate safety and engagement but also fosters lifelong skills, social connections, and resilience .

When we see “generations” of Webs of Support, we amplify the systemic and multi-layered impact of integrative youth development, where it transcends into an Integrative Approach to becoming an effective human-being across the lifespan. It suggests that the work done today to support young people can reverberate through the generations, strengthening the community’s capacity to nurture its youth, reinforcing positive social norms, and enhancing the community’s resilience over time . As a result, integrative youth development must be mindful of how each initiative contributes to this larger vision of a thriving, intergenerational community.

In essence, focusing only on the immediate (the clock) without considering the broader, long-term context (the calendar) limits the effectiveness of youth development programs. By taking a holistic view, integrating immediate actions into a broader strategy, and aligning today’s efforts with a long-term vision for youth and community thriving, integrative youth development can create lasting positive impacts that span generations.

09/30/2024

This morning, I read a story about dandelions. And, I wondered how the story could be informed by seeing it through a Full Color lens.��The story.�A man who took great pride in his lawn found himself with a large crop of dandelions. He tried every method he knew to get rid of them. Still they plagued him.

Finally, he wrote to the Department of Agriculture. He enumerated all the things he had tried and closed his letter with the question: "What shall I do now?"

In due course, the reply came: "We suggest you learn to love them."��The dandelion story illustrates the concept of Full Color Seeing by encouraging a shift in perspective and embracing what may initially seem undesirable. In the context of the Web of Support, Full Color Seeing is about the balloon (green) using the diverse strengths, values, and perspectives within our social and ecological networks, rather than forcing a situation to conform to preconceived ideals.

How Full Color Seeing Applies to the Dandelion Story:

1. Anchors Modeling New Perspectives: In the story, if the man’s Anchors consistently shared messages about the beauty, utility, and ecological benefits of dandelions, it would provide support and reassurance, helping him see the dandelions as valuable rather than a nuisance. For example, Anchors might talk about the medicinal value of dandelions, the reduction of chemical use in lawn care, or even share how they incorporate dandelions into their own yards. This shift would create a “string” that ties the man to a broader understanding, helping him see dandelions through a new, appreciative lens.

2. Amplifying Values through the Orange and Yellow Strings: The man can begin to pay attention to previously invisible strings, in order to catch the the ones that might connect him to a positive perspective on dandelions. The balloon may look for tangible reasons (strings) for keeping them and valuing them. Or look to catch intangible strings of amplifying certain values that reinforce the goodness of them.

3. Harnessing and applying his innate talents and intelligences: He could start making dandelion wine or cooking with the their greens. He could laugh at the absurdity of the situation and rather than giving up, find a new pathway forward. He’s use his internal gifts (represented by the Balloon) to navigate and grow from “the strengths within.”

4. Gratitude and Reframing (Indigo): Practicing gratitude—being thankful for having a yard at all or acknowledging that dandelions are not causing greater harm—can transform annoyance into appreciation. Full Color Seeing encourages looking at situations through a gratitude lens, which often leads to more peaceful acceptance and even enjoyment of the unexpected.

5. Community Norms and Social Influence (Violet): If the neighborhood collectively embraces dandelions, modeling this acceptance can set a new social norm. As Full Color Seeing suggests, changing one’s behavior or perspective can have a ripple effect, influencing others and altering the community’s shared standards. Over time, what was once considered a flaw becomes a celebrated feature, illustrating how embracing diversity in thought and appearance strengthens the collective Web of Support.

Full Color Seeing transforms what might initially be viewed as a problem into an opportunity for growth, connection, and positive change. By reinterpreting the presence of dandelions as a chance to learn and adapt, the man strengthens his own resilience and may also contribute to a broader cultural shift within his community, aligning with the principles of the Web of Support.��And, I know that you ALL KNOW THIS, but the story is not just about dandelions, but act as a simile for many other stresses and challenges in our lives. To help the reader out, here’s a sample list.��Here are 20 problems that dandelions could serve as a simile for:

1. Unwanted Criticism: Just as dandelions pop up uninvited, criticism can appear in our lives unexpectedly, but it can offer growth if we learn to accept and use it constructively.
2. Personal Flaws: Dandelions are often seen as imperfections in a lawn, much like personal flaws that we try to hide or remove instead of embracing as part of our unique identity.
3. Negative Habits: Similar to how dandelions spread quickly if left unchecked, negative habits can take root and grow rapidly in our lives if not addressed.
4. Unsolicited Advice: Just as dandelions can overwhelm a well-manicured lawn, unsolicited advice can flood us when we least need it, but some of it may have value if we look deeper.
5. Persistent Worries: Worries can be like dandelions—no matter how much you try to get rid of them, they keep coming back until you find a way to see them in a different light.
6. Unresolved Conflicts: Like dandelions that return after being mowed down, unresolved conflicts tend to reappear until they are fully addressed.
7. Change in the Workplace: Changes at work, much like dandelions in a pristine lawn, can seem disruptive and unwelcome, but they may lead to new opportunities for growth and improvement.
8. Unexpected Health Issues: Health problems can spring up like dandelions, surprising us and forcing us to adapt to new circumstances.
9. Overlooked Talents: Just as dandelions are often considered weeds, overlooked talents may not be appreciated until someone recognizes their true value.
10. Community Challenges: Issues like poverty or inequality can spread and seem like eyesores, but they might also hold the potential for bringing people together to find creative solutions.
11. Mental Health Stigma: Like dandelions, mental health issues are often seen as something to be hidden or removed rather than understood and supported.
12. Relationship Misunderstandings: Misunderstandings can be like dandelions, seemingly small but capable of spreading if not addressed early on.
13. Cultural Biases: Biases are like dandelions—pervasive, deeply rooted, and requiring a shift in perception to see the beauty in diversity.
14. Financial Instability: Financial issues, much like dandelions, can start small but quickly take over, requiring new strategies to manage and grow from them.
15. Environmental Issues: Environmental problems, like dandelions, may seem like a nuisance at first, but they often point to larger systemic issues that need attention.
16. Regret: Regret can linger like dandelions in a yard, constantly reappearing until we accept them and find a way to move forward.
17. Old Beliefs and Stereotypes: These can be like dandelions, deeply rooted and hard to remove, yet they persist and spread unless actively challenged and reframed.
18. Social Media Misinformation: Just like dandelions spread their seeds far and wide, misinformation can quickly multiply, often obscuring the truth.
19. Grief: Grief can be like dandelions—it changes form and returns in different ways, teaching us to find beauty and resilience in pain.
20. Unrealistic Expectations: Like dandelions in a lawn, unrealistic expectations can appear as obstacles to a perfect life, but learning to manage and redefine them can bring unexpected peace and appreciation.