04/01/2024
I once spoke to a woman in Vermont who told me that she had lived in her current community for 60 years, but she wasn’t from there. Hold up, time out. When you live in a place for 60 years, you are from there. You don’t have to add the qualifier that you are from somewhere else. Sure, if that’s important to your identity, great, share it up but at some point, we have to embrace the community we have spent three score calling home.
Neighborliness and being community-minded are concepts we should work hard to revive. Just because they have faded in popularity, doesn’t mean they aren’t worth bringing back in style. Cooking with local ingredients fell out of favor for a few decades before being brought back from the dead and it’s safe to say, it’s been a positive change.
I suspect that we are part of the first generation that didn’t learn how to behave neighborly while growing up. Cultivating a sense of community wasn’t something our parents taught us. It was not something they practiced, so how could we pick it up? The boomers were the first generation of suburbanites and they were seeking to escape the evils of being around other people. TV taught them to despise density and politicians scared them away from all things urban. As their children, how can we be blamed for not valuing something we never even knew existed?
That doesn’t mean we can’t learn to appreciate those we share a community with and figure out how to support one another. It only means we haven’t YET. Collectively, we can help revive the art of being neighborly, show others how to strengthen the fabric of community, and teach the generations to follow us the benefits of fostering more social ties. Why let something that is so integral to our happiness remain hidden away in obscurity?
Study after study shows that one of the greatest determinants of a person’s happiness is his or her social connections. These days, we cast community relationships aside as being less important than material concerns, but increasingly the science shows we do this at our own peril. Friends make us happy, neighbors make us feel connected, a strong sense of community makes us feel a sense of belonging. The more close social ties we have, the more we feel supported and safe.
So how can we go about being more neighborly and strengthening the fabric of our community? The simplest way is to do more of your existing activities with others. Reading a new book? Ask your neighbors if they want to read the same book and discuss it. Feel like having some after-work drinks? Invite a few people you know to join you. Consider what you do on a regular basis and which of those activities would be improved by doing it with other people. You can be sure that other people are doing the same thing and would enjoy having some company.
People in your town want to hang out with other people, but maybe they aren’t comfortable asking, or don’t know how to get started. Help them out!