06/01/2026
Sometimes you can wish and hope and try as hard as you can, and still lose the battle. In hospice and senior work, that happens a lot.
We lost Sammy the 34 year old horse today, after a weekend of him deteriorating rapidly. We did all we could, but his body was tired, and I think he finally felt safe to go here. I cannot fault him for that. The sun finally came out, and he was ready. So we let him run off into the clouds.
And then Bear, who we tried so hard for, took a turn downhill quickly and we had to let him go. Unlike Hobo, who we have only seen improve and thrive, Bear was not rebounding at all.
We are so lucky to have vets beside us through this, because even though I do this a lot, I have to be coached sometimes too. The instinct to intervene more, to push harder, is very strong, especially when they haven't been here long. I often need reminding that in many of these cases, the trajectory is the same, but quality of life matters more than quantity. A good day is better than waiting until there's suffering, and if there's one thing I will not tolerate, it's suffering.
But. Today I'm tired, actually maybe more weary than tired. My heart aches for battles I entered ready to win but then lost. I know tomorrow may be different, but today I am just sad.
Sweet, sweet boys. Be good. I'm so sorry it wasn't long, but I loved you both fiercely and would do it again even still.
Thank you to all who helped us, and still do. I know these aren't the happy endings we hope for, but they are in some ways. Whether on this side, or the next, the animals that come to us know nothing but peace, no pain, and so so much love.
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