09/01/2026
Every month or so, Dick and I talk about something related to domestic violence services that exist throughout the tri-state area on his Dubuque Super Hits radio show. We've discussed how abuse and violence are learned behaviors and how much of this behavior relates to power and control. We've also underscored how abuse escalates and how critical it is to intervene whenever possible. I mean, we've even talked multiple times about how help is available for the person perpetrating abusive behaviors, hoping to stop the cycle.
But yet, here we are.
Two women stopped by our office yesterday sharing that they are fleeing an abusive relationship. I would need to check our records, but it feels like nearly 10 women stopped by last week sharing something similar. "Fleeing" always looks different. Someone might wait for him to go to work to pack a bag and leave. Another has already left and everything they could grab is in the car with them. A woman called here yesterday from Waterloo asking for help to get to the domestic violence shelter here in Dubuque.
Approximately 92% of the women that stop by our office are survivors of domestic violence. But they are not here because of the trauma. They are here because of the result of this inexcusable behavior. She needs help with housing, food and diapers.....hold on a second.
I stopped writing this post to take a call. It was a woman here with three little ones. They fled an abusive relationship from Tennessee and are now here in town hoping to stay with a family member, but unfortunately, that hasn't worked out. The two women's shelters in Dubuque, the one in Platteville and the one in Clinton are all full. Before I could offer the number to a domestic violence shelter in Waverly she hung up.
I can't help but think of those three little kids now and all of the other children that are impacted by domestic violence. One of the women who stopped in last week had her two kids in the car while we talked. I imagined the three of them sleeping in their car, having to move it every night for fear that the children's father would find and hurt them again.
It's hard to think about. It makes me sad and angry. And honestly, I'm angry not just because a man is hurting a woman or a child, but I'm also angry and frustrated because it just doesn't seem to change.
And before anyone comments below about the "man bites dog" example of a woman being abusive to a man, don't bother. Save that redirection for somewhere else.
Let's just do better. A LOT better. Please.
