Max the Doula

11/07/2024

Late yesterday, in a moment of quiet, I journaled. I started thinking about all of the ways that marginalized people have and always will move forward during times of uncertainty and violence.

Because of what I know about our country, I am not surprised by the results of the election. I am disgusted, embarrassed, enraged.

But, because of what I know about the LGBTQ+ community, mutual aid, and community care, I know that there are many moments, big and small, that will keep us human and connected that simply cannot be touched by an election.

Harmful governments and fascism make these moments more vulnerable, certainly. They might again become illegal, outlawed. But the things I describe here have always been ways that marginalized people connect. By feeding each other, by lifting each other, by showing each other respect and affirmation. What I share here is not fictional or based only on my experience. These are also moments pulled from memoirs, movements, and the histories of resistance and marginalization. Solidarity and love has and will always find a way.

Not everyone gets to see these warm moments as much as I do as a doula and community advocate. By virtue of my work, I see many of the hard things. The parents who are afraid to lose their children. The Trans folks who must stay closeted. The pain and tears of harmful legislation and loss of community. But I also get the privilege to see the way that people resist and show up for themselves and their community. So, I thought I would share some of them, in case you need some comfort.

We Take Care of Us. That, They Cannot Vote On.

02/15/2024

Yesterday, Max the Doula “officially” turned one!
Even though I’ve been doing this work for years, this past year brought new opportunities to share my gender and transition doula support to the Iowa community. I call my doula work a love letter to the Trans community, and this year I experienced so much love.
Love that I saw Trans folks pour into themselves as they take steps to explore, come out, and access care.
Love that I saw allies pour into Trans folks.
Love that I saw the community pour into my work.

I wanted to share some of that love with ya’ll.

To my clients- thank you for your support, trust, and tenacity. My life is made better by being your doula.

Image description: Each slide includes white words on a pink background. Each slide also includes two white stars and the Max the Doula logo:

Slide 1: Happy Doula Day!

Slide 2:Hi! I’m Max. I’m a gender and transition doula since 2019. On Valentine’s Day last year, I officially shared my work online. Here’s what the last year brought!

Slide 3: I’ve served over 75 individuals, including close to 20 consistent clients. this work included: surgery support, gender exploration, name change assistance, family & parent questions, resources & referrals.

Slide 4:My favorite part of this year was my collaboration with the Common Love Pop-Up! From fitting folks for binders to answering questions, I look forward to the pop-up every month!

Slide 5: Trans people are deeply and inherently resilient. the simple act of learning about yourself, exploring your identities, and seeking out support is radical. Every time I meet with a client, i feel stronger too.

Slide 6: Thank you for all your support, trust, and tenacity. My life is made better by being your doula. Love ya’ll.

12/21/2023

A few days ago, I asked ya'll what tips you had for moving through the holidays as Trans, Nonbinary and Gender Diverse folks!
Swipe through for a few that y'all sent, and a few that I've found helpful as well!
Drop any that are missing in the comments.

Love ya'll,
Max

Image descriptions: Every slide has dark blue writing on the same snowy background with trees and hills.

Slide 1: Holiday Self Care for Trans and Nonbinary Folks
Take What You Need

Slide 2: Rest, solitude, and texting the ones who love and support the most authentic version of me.
(From a community member)

Slide 3: “I build check-ins with close friends so wherever we are we get to hold space & support each other”
(From a community member)

Slide 4: Pack your safest and most gender-affirming items even if they’re small (a necklace you can easily hide, your favorite sweatshirt, light make- up, a binder, etc.)

Slide 5: Create a calming or gender-euphoric playlist you can listen to when you’re overhwelmed catch a moment by yourself and give it a listen

Slide 6: Pull tarot, meditate, journal, pray, do anything you can to connect with yourself.
Want gender journal prompts or tarot pulls? reach out!

Slide 7: Naps & Rest & Downtime
(From several community members)

Slide 8: Rreading q***r books!”
(From a community member)

Slide 9: Please reach out if you need support
Remember that you’re not alone, and you have everything within you to move through tough moments this holiday season
We take care of us

12/05/2023

Welcome to Max the Doula Reads!
Each month, I'll share a book worth reading in the world of social justice, liberation, and gender.
I'm so excited about this month's book: Me & My Dysphoria Monster by Laura Kate Dale.
This book is a great introduction to dysphoria, and though it is a children's book, folks of all ages would benefit it.
Not all Trans, Nonbinary, and Gender Diverse people experience dysphoria, but if there is a child in your life who is struggling with gender, this book could be a way for them to understand how to talk about their feelings. It's a great jumping off place for talking about and exploring gender. It's also a great resource for young allies that want to understand what their friends or family members are experiencing! It's thoughtfully and compassionately written and a great addition to your library queue or at-home collection. I got my copy at , but you can ask any local bookstore to order it for you if they don't have it in-store.

Image description:
Bold, black letters on pink and purple backgrounds read:

Image 1:
max the doula reads
monthly book recommendations gender, liberation, and social justice
Me & My Dysphoria monster
Laura Kate Dale
Though it is a children’s book, this would be an amazing read for any age! It describes gender dysphoria thoughtfully and compassionately- very few books make dysphoria this easy to understand.

This book could help give language to what some Trans kids might experience, or be a resource for allies of all ages to understand their Trans peers, especially parents and teachers



Image 2:

Max the Doula Reads
Monthly book recommendations gender, liberation, and social justice
What should I read next?
Drop your recommendations in the comments!
Where can I buy it?

I love to get my books from Storyhouse Bookpub in Des Moines’ East Village- it is an LGBTQ-affirming small business with many other books on liberation and social justice.

Even if you don’t live in Des Moines, it’s easy to get this book from a local bookstore- just ask them to order it for you if they don’t have it in-store!

11/20/2023

Today is Trans Day of Remembrance. This holiday acknowledges the lives lost to anti-Trans violence.
While this day is a moment to pause and reflect, I wanted to share organizations that you can support that actively work to address the root causes of anti-Trans violence. These organizations are all BIPOC + Trans led because this violence almost entirely impacts Trans People of Color.

To my white Trans followers, I would ask you to consider the ways that you are complicit in the racism that is foundational to this violence. Do not hide behind statistics on anti-Trans violence with the assumption that that violence is experienced by all Trans people equally. Recognize that you are often sheltered from this violence because of your whiteness.

All organizations will be linked in my bio!

Image descriptions: Each slide includes white letters on a fuzzy, gray background.

Slide 1: BIPOC and Trans Organizations to support on Trans Day of Remembrance
Solidarity Not Charity
Action over Comfort

Slide 2: Black and Pink
“Black & Pink National is a prison abolitionist organization dedicated to abolishing the criminal punishment system and liberating LGBTQIA2S+ people and people living with HIV/AIDS who are affected by that system through advocacy, support, and organizing.”
Why shout them out? Much of anti-Trans violence happens at the hands of the carceral system.

Slide 3: Brave Space Alliance
“Brave Space Alliance is the first Black-led, trans-led LGBTQ+ Center located on the South Side of Chicago, dedicated to creating and providing affirming, culturally competent, for-us by-us resources, programming, and services for LGBTQ+ individuals on the South and West sides of the city. We strive to empower, embolden, and educate each other through mutual aid, knowledge-sharing, and the creation of community-sourced resources as we build toward the liberation of all oppressed peoples.”
Why shout them out? Direct service, mutual aid, and BIPOC-centered programming help meet the material needs of Trans individuals while empowering better futures (images descriptions continued in comments)

09/20/2023

This week, Iowa's gender-affirming care ban for minors goes into effect. Though the law was signed 6 months ago, the impact to Trans, Nonbinary and Gender Diverse youth is ongoing. Swipe through for more information on what you can do. As always, reach out if you need any support, additional information, or resources.
Links to orgs mentioned:

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Image descriptions:
Slide 1: White and pink letters on a blurry black and pink background say:
This week, Iowa’s gender-affirming care ban for minors goes into effect.
Here's what you can do.
Max the Doula

Slide 2- 10: White letters on a pink blurry background say:
Reach out
If you are a Trans youth or their family member, please reach out for support.
Please remember that you are not alone, and that this world is better with you in it. Swipe through for a list of organizations that can provide resources and community.
Slide 3:
Step Up
If you are a Trans ally, we need you
The time for passive allyship has passed, as anti-Trans hostility in our state is taking the lives and safety of Trans people. We need you to be an active participant in the fight for Trans liberation. Volunteer, disrupt, donate, and center Trans voices.
Slide 4:
Connect
Support organizations serving Trans youth in Iowa: The QYR Center, Iowa Trans Mutual Aid Fund, One Iowa, Iowa Safe Schools, Iowa QSA. There are many other organizations doing this incredible work- reach out any time for more resources throughout Iowa and the Midwest. (Images descriptions continue in caption)

05/19/2023

We can't believe the workshop is almost here! We hope to see you TOMORROW, Saturday, May 20th from 2-3 pm on Zoom. Still need to register? Either DM us or register at maxthedouladsm.com!

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Text on a gradient yellow and orange background reads:
Managing Dysphoria Workshop
Will we see you there?
Register today at maxthedoula.com
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

05/18/2023

Learn more about Carlin and Max! We cannot wait to facilitate this workshop and create a safe space to share knowledge and community. Swipe through to learn more about us!

Image description:
Slide 1:
Text on a gradient pink and blue background reads:
Managing Dysphoria Workshop
Meet your facilitators!
Register today at maxthedoula.com
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

Slide 2:
Text on a gradient pink and blue background reads:
Meet Carlin:
Carlin (they/them) grew up in the south and got their MSW from Smith College. They have been a therapist for almost 6 years working mostly with trans and gender diverse folks. They currently work in a gender health clinic and also have a private practice. In their spare time they enjoy hanging out with their plethora of animals and bouldering. Their favorite way to combat dysphoria is to put on their emotional support baseball cap backwards and be a lawn dad.
Register today at maxthedoula.com
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

Slide 3:
Text on a gradient pink and blue background reads:
Meet Max:
Max (they/he) is a gender and transition doula based in Des Moines, Iowa that has been practicing since 2019. Max specializes in supporting Trans, Nonbinary, and Gender Diverse individuals explore their gender identity and pursue gender-affirming care. Max’s goal is to create a safe environment for their clients to better understand their vibrant, authentic selves. Their favorite way to experience gender euphoria is by lifting heavy at the gym!
Register today at maxthedoula.com
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

05/18/2023

05/15/2023

Want to know more about what this workshop will cover? Swipe through for the details! We'll talk all things dysphoria, euphoria planning, and Trans joy! Will we see you there?

Image description:
Slide 1:
Text on a gradient purple and pink background reads:
Managing Dysphoria Workshop
What will we cover?
Register today at maxthedoula.com
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

Slide 2:
Text on a gradient purple and pink background reads:
Gender Euphoria Planning
Have you ever made a euphoria plan? We'll talk about how to find ways to experience gender euphoria and incorporate fun gender activities into your every day life.
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

Slide 3:
Text on a gradient purple and pink background reads:
Coping tools for gender dysphoria
Not sure what to do when you experience gender dysphoria? We'll talk through ways to take care of yourself when you're struggling.
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

Slide 4:
Trans joy and social media
Find yourself doomstrolling or interacting with social media content that is transphobic or unaffirming? We'll cover creating boundaries with social media and surrounding ourselves with accounts that bring us joy and affirmation.
Free virtual workshop
May 20th, 2023
2 pm CT
Register at maxthedoula.com

05/09/2023

Want to learn more about my gender and transition doula work? Swipe through these frequently asked questions and DM me if you need support!

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Slide 1: White lettering on a pink and light pink background says:
Q: Does gender and transition doula support cost money?
A: No! Gender and Transition doula support is free for Trans, Nonbinary, and Gender Diverse folks. If you're an ally and want to support this work, stay tuned for ways to support this work in the coming months!
www.maxthedoula.com

Slide 2: White lettering on a pink and light pink background says:
Q: Do you offer support to people outside of Des Moines?
A: Yes! I am happy to provide doula support throughout the state of Iowa. Folks outside of Iowa can feel free to reach out with questions, but the kind of support I can provide may be limited.
www.maxthedoula.com

Slide 3: White lettering on a pink and light pink background says:
Q: I'm a Trans person and want to get connected to your work. How do I reach out?
A: Folks that want to accessdoula support can visit my website, maxthedoula.com, or can DM me on Facebook or Instagram. You can also email me directly at [email protected]!
www.maxthedoula.com

Slide 4: White lettering on a pink and light pink background says:
Q: I am a Trans ally and want to learn more about Trans people/support the Trans people in my life. Can I reach out?
A:Allies can definitely reach out about ways to support their family members, however, I will continue to prioritize inquiries from Trans people first.
www.maxthedoula.com

05/05/2023

It's time to ask a doula! Join Max at the Q***r Clothing Pop Up and ask your questions on all things gender and transition! This is a great time to ask quick questions, receive support, and learn how to be an ally to Trans, Nonbinary, and Gender Diverse people. We hope to see you there!
May 7th, 4-6 pm CT
Horizon Line Coffee | DSM, IA

Image Description
On an image of pink clouds and a white person with short hair and a floral shirt, words read:
Ask A Doula!
Join Max at the Common Love DSM Q***r Clothing Pop Up and ask questions, sign up for services, and get resources!
Sunday, May 7th, 4-6 pm CT
Horizon Line Coffee, DSM
www.maxthedoula.com