11/25/2020
Really Good general Info
Revisited.
Codependency is a pattern, where we are disconnected from ourself + our needs.
If we have codependency conditioning we generally feel resentful, drained, + like we are always chasing approval—or never doing enough. We believe that we are responsible for other people’s emotions. We also find our self worth through others, so we do whatever we can to be chosen.
As children, if we were raised in homes without clear boundaries (+ most of us are) we don’t fully understand what’s “ours” + what’s “someone else’s.”
So, we begin fulfilling roles— + neglecting ourselves + our needs. We begin performing or achieving for love (just as we did for our parent-figures love.) We unconsciously fear the abandonment we faced in our past.
This cycle repeats because it’s how we learned to survive.
Healing from codependency comes from doing the work of reparenting ourselves. We can begin to learn what our needs are + how to meet them. We can begin to understand that we are not responsible for the emotional states of others— that each of us can (+ should) have our own unique emotional experiences.
We can begin to understand we are worthy of creating life on our own terms, of saying ‘no’ to things they don’t serve us, of being autonomous adults who make conscious choices in our own best interest. In the process we attract relationships with people who seek freedom + mutual evolution rather than seeking a partner to temporary relieve them from their unresolved trauma.
Many of us neglected ourselves to survive. Healing is self-reclamation
