09/06/2026
Seen in a quote:
“People with PTSD are trying to get back to who they were without the trauma.
While those with C PTSD have to learn who they are after the trauma, as it’s all they know.”
I’ve heard it said, “I don’t just want to go back to who I was.”
I’ve also heard, “There are parts of me I’m discovering for the first time.”
Maybe today I’ll discover I like to cook, or exercise, or even learn to speak in sign language.
There is something really beautiful about reclaiming joy, not because everything is suddenly okay, but because I’m allowed to experience things that make me feel alive.
Maybe healing is partly learning who you are when survival isn’t the only thing you know.
That message has gained even more clarity for me from several different angles recently.
Not just from some of the women we have been walking alongside, but from my own personal experience.
As I grow into who I am and recognize new things about myself every day, statements like these remind me that we are all on a journey, trying to discover who we really are.
For some of us, that journey has a few extra twists and turns. Maybe a few new discoveries, or maybe a whole lot of them.
Ultimately, it’s about being you and doing what brings you joy. Life should not be about being forced to do something or being someone you were forced to be.
This statement took me back to a time in upstate New York when I shared with a church group a spoon that I had bent into a circle.
I began the presentation with the spoon and asked, “Why would I bend a spoon this way?”
I went on to share my story, then I ended with the spoon, simply stating:
“Why did I bend the spoon? Because it’s something I decided I wanted to try. Because I could. Not because someone made me do it.”
Prior to my recent surgery, the doctor asked me, “What are your goals for after surgery?”
I said, “I want to be able to jump rope.”
He asked me, “Why would someone your age want to jump rope?”
My response? “Because I want to prove that I can.”
My knee may not be quite ready for jump rope yet, but with the physical therapy I’m receiving, I know I will. Hopefully soon.
My childhood may have been about survival, but through the healing process, I’m really learning to enjoy my adult self.
I have discovered that I am an adrenaline seeker. Whitewater rapids? Bring them on. Jet skiing? Oh yes!
I still want to try skydiving and take a hot air balloon ride.
But one of the most interesting things I have discovered about myself is that I enjoy learning and helping others.
My goal for this year is to complete all my classes to become a Certified Life Coach. Then next year, I’ll complete my practicum and mentoring hours so I can become certified.
Think about that.
When you are in the midst of the trauma that caused C PTSD, how can you even begin to set goals?
How can you dream about the things you might want to do?
How can you discover the person you are beneath survival?
Sometimes, it is only once you are removed from the trauma that the healing can begin.
And that means there is hope.
There can be joy.
There can be laughter.
There can be new dreams.
We can discover things about ourselves that we never had the opportunity to discover before.
We can learn who we are when survival is no longer the only thing we know.
We can reclaim pieces of ourselves.
We can try something simply because we want to.
Because we can.
Because we are finally free to choose.
We can discover who we really are.
Thank you, Jesus!
