12/30/2020
Marriage Vision Retreat
It’s that time of the year when we are all thinking about resolutions and setting new goals. This is a great time to set new goals and a new vision for our marriages.
When you come back home, you will have a plan for your children, finances, s*x life, schedule—every area of your marriage. Schedule a vision retreat for your marriage every year.
Setting aside time to seek God for your marriage will transform your life, your relationship with each other, and your relationship with God. Here are a few rules for a productive vision retreat.
1. No kids.
If you take your kids, it’s not a retreat. Leave them with your parents or a trusted friend or family member. Get away alone, together.
2. Aim for three to five days.
You need to allow yourself enough time to relax, get your heart right, and connect with your spouse.
3. Do it at least once a year.
If you’re fighting regularly or have major life changes on the horizon, you might need to do it more than once a year. If you find yourselves nagging each other or arguing, understand it’s time for your vision retreat. You fight because there’s something unresolved between you and your spouse. A vision retreat can help you resolve it.
4. It can be anywhere.
If you want to go camping and are comfortable doing that, then set up a tent out in the woods. If you’d rather go to a fancy resort, then do that. As long as it’s a place where you’re not too distracted to seek God.
5. Schedule each day.
For half the day, you pray and talk. The other half of the day, you have fun. Spend your mornings in conversation, then spend the rest of the day enjoying yourselves.
6. Talk about the big issues.
Discuss kids, schedule, in-laws, careers, and money or whatever your big issues. The things that keep you aggravated with each other. What issues cause the most tension in your marriage? That’s what you need to discuss.
7. Don’t be afraid to fight.
When you bring something out in the open that has been unresolved in your marriage, it’s going to lead to some hard conversations. Some couples are uncomfortable with the idea of a vision retreat because they don’t like conflict. But would you rather have two days of hard conversations, or 15 years of a chronic, unresolved problem in your marriage?
8. Surrender your marriage to God.
This is the most important thing. A vision retreat isn’t two strong-willed people butting heads on an issue, but two submitted people trying to find God. Say, “God, we want what you want. We surrender our marriage to you.”
9. Finally, listen.
Don’t bully. Don’t dominate. Listen to your spouse share his or her heart. Spend time in prayer. Sit together in God’s presence until you hear from Him. I firmly believe He will give you a vision for your marriage if you’ll just listen.
After that, you’ll return to the “real world” and pursue that vision. Have you ever gone on a vision retreat with your spouse? If not, then I hope this year is the year you do it.
