REAL LIFE ministries

06/26/2025

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06/24/2025

Chester and Betsy Kylstra were in town this past week. I was fortunate enough to catch up with them over lunch on Saturday.

Every now and then, God allows your life to intersect with someone else’s in a way that leaves a lasting mark—shaping your faith, your thinking, even how you move through the world. That’s how I would describe the relationship Tim and I shared with the Kylstras—one that still impacts me deeply today. Their influence was both powerful and personal—modeling what healing, legacy, and lasting impact truly look like. They are a rare gift, and one I’ve never taken for granted.

The Kylstra's are the founders of Restoring the Foundations International (RTF). https://restoringthefoundations.org

Betsy is one of three women who came together to write "Healing for Every Heart in Adoption"— a thoughtful book that gives voice to the birth parent, adoptive parent, and adoptee. Each perspective invites the reader to step into the story —seeing it through a different lens.

05/29/2025

05/27/2025

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:10 (NLT)

Dear Friends,

Feeling distant in your marriage? You’re not alone. Sometimes, love just needs a little intention.

You might be doing all the right things—working hard, caring for the kids, keeping everything running—yet still wondering why you feel miles apart from the one you love most… and longing for a deeper connection.

Here’s the good news: small changes can turn a ship around. Real connection doesn’t require anything extravagant—just honest moments of showing up.


REAL LIFE CHALLENGE

It’s not always about doing more—sometimes it’s about showing up differently.
This month, be intentional about taking small steps each day that move you toward your spouse.

Remember, it doesn’t have to be over the top—just real. Simple actions can speak volumes:

*Lingering in a hug instead of rushing into the day

*Offering encouragement—even about the little things

*Putting your phone down, shutting your laptop, turning off the TV

*Dreaming about something—together

*Softening your tone

*Making eye contact

*Asking for your spouse’s input

*Serving them in a new or unexpected way

*
Doing something thoughtful without being asked

Making sure your actions match your words—it creates safety and builds trust

Don’t underestimate the power of small gestures done consistently. They send a powerful message that communicates your heart: “I’m here. I choose you again today. Let’s co-lead through this life together.”

With hope,
Anne

05/18/2025

A wise man will hear and grow in learning. Proverbs 1:5 NLV

Dear Friends,
Strengthening relationships doesn’t have to be complicated. While communication is key to intimacy, saying more isn’t always the answer. Sometimes, the best way to build connection is by saying less—and focusing on being a good listener.

We all want to feel seen, heard, and respected. But conversations can quickly go sideways when we react to what we think we heard instead of responding to what was actually said. Talking over each other or rushing to defend our position doesn’t foster understanding—it builds walls.

REAL LIFE Challenge
I think we can all agree being a good listener is no small thing.
It’s a learned skill that takes practice.
Be proactive by agreeing to some ground rules.
Try taking turns as the speaker and the listener.

Speaker: The Speaker leads out with a topic they’d like to share. But remember, it’s easy to overwhelm your listener by addressing too many things at once. Instead, keep your focus on just one topic at a time. Agree to, say, five minutes before pausing so the listener can follow.

Listener: Listening to understand is not about agreeing, disagreeing, controlling the outcome, passing judgment, or offering solutions. Instead, it’s an opportunity to listen with respect—without interruption—so you can better understand the other person’s perspective. And remember: being a good listener doesn’t mean you have to agree.

After about five minutes, the speaker pauses so the listener can reflect on what they heard. Once the speaker has completed their thought, the listener has a chance to ask clarifying questions such as:

Is this what I heard you say?
Help me understand.....
It sounds like your perspective has changed. Can you tell me more?
Did I miss anything?

Listening to understand fosters respect and allows space for each person’s emotional response and viewpoint. Feeling heard builds trust and lays a foundation of safety.

My prayer for you this month is that you grow in communication—whether by adding new tools to your toolbox or sharpening the ones you already have. Even small changes can go a long way in strengthening intimacy and trust in your relationships.

With Hope,

Anne