12/14/2025
"But everyone says to reward looking?"
Strap in, it's both!😮
It's not your fault, it's just not talked about enough. If you're only concentrating on rewarding active/calm looking at a trigger there's a very good chance a perfect opportunity has been missed.
They're making a choice that helps regulation!
They're choosing not to have their eyes locked on that trigger.
They are learning that at that distance, their trigger is not a threat.
They're actively choosing not to escalate.
All of that is exactly what we want more of, so why aren't we talking about this more and rewarding it?
Little bit of caution with this though, it can be tricky to tell if this is actively choosing to turn away or complete avoidance.
If they're not looking at all in the direction of that trigger, actually avoiding even a small glimpse, that's a big clue.
There's a fine line too between a highly cautious/flighty glance and a calm disengage.
We need to find that balance, distance and environment so we can encourage them to safely make that choice.
It's a choice covered in sparkles and it shines through!
We reward looking and not looking.
Both are true.
Both are gold🌟