12/08/2022
My Mom, Margie is McCalister, passed away Sunday morning, December 4, while under hospice care, in Chattanooga, TN. Mom was 87 years old and was ready to leave this world to join many family members and friends who had gone on before her.
The last three to four years have been extremely challenging for Mom. In and out of hospitals and rehab facilities while navigating the restrictions of the pandemic - having to move from independent living to assisted living and then finally moving to hospice care for the last 3 weeks of her life - she was ready to make yet another move to her heavenly reward. Her 87 years of living had all been in preparation for this final move. For me, and I think I can safely speak for my wife, Andrea and my brother, Curtis, it is sad relief. It was a special blessing that her son, my brother, Curtis, got to travel from Oklahoma to visit and spend time with her while she was lucid and conversant.
There are many people to thank for their care of our Mom during her declining years. I want to especially thank Joanna King at Calstead Foundation for the concern and care she demonstrated while Mom was a resident there. The work done at Calstead is ministry personified. Rebecca Greene, Ora Melton and Amber Neil are three wonderful care-givers I want to acknowledge because of the attention and love they gave Mom while they helped look after her. She considered these people to be very good friends, not employees by any stretch. Mom wanted to be friends with everyone.
My Aunt Paula recently reminded me that there was only one Margie. Big compliment! Mom loved life!
If you were in Mom's inner circle you probably called here "Barney" at least some of the time, or if you were my Uncle Jerrold, all of the time. My Uncle Jerrold, married to my mom's oldest sister, Aunt Wanda, lived on a farm near Wichita Kansas. As a teenager and young adult, Mom, who lived in Oklahoma City with her family, loved nothing more than spending time on the Stitt's working farm outside of Clearwater, Kansas. Uncle Jerrold was a imposing, mountain of a man, one of a kind himself. He was a playful teaser and christened my mom "Barney" after the race car driver/celebrity Barney Oldfield who was popular in the early and mid 1900's (Google him....fascinating cat!). At around 15 y/o Mom drove one of Uncle Jerrold's new tractors into a ditch, got it stuck. Not good. Then the nickname finally came when it took Mom three tries to pass her driver's test! So as a kid it was interesting to me that as soon as we would get to the farm Mom's name changed instantly and everyone there called her "Barney". Kind of a reverse Wizard of Oz moment. I guess I called Mom "Mom" about half the time and the other half the time I called her Barney. Several cousins have called me in the last few days and these cousins refer to her as Barney, rarely as Aunt Margie. To me it's a gesture of respect towards Uncle Jerrold and Mom. I love it! (Ironically, she never was involved in a traffic accident or receive any kind of traffic citation).
Mom was born with a rare gift. She came out of the box with the ability to play the piano.
One of the first Church of God congregations in the state of Oklahoma started at my Grandma and Grandpa Higginbotham's home on SW 32nd St in Oklahoma City. My grandparents accepted the Christian faith, had six kids for a total of eight people so my Grandpa Higginbotham made the decision that that was enough to start a church. He gave each of the siblings a job. Aunt Wanda was designated the Sunday School.teacher, Aunt Paula was the (wonderful and always my favorite) gospel alto soloist and seamstress, my Uncle Bill was the church treasurer, Aunt Theresa fixed all the sisters hair for church (6 heads of hair counting my Grandma), and he christened Mom church pianist. Funny thing was, she had never played piano and they didn't own a piano.
(How that resolved)
Mom could play until the very end. In fact, she missed her last wedding gig by just two days because she had to be admitted to the hospital with diverticulitis. She was still doing wedding gigs at 87 years old!! I love that!
Mom tells the story and I've checked it with her contemporaries and believe it's accurate. She's playing piano for Sunday night service January 23, 1955 and goes into labor with me. I arrive Monday morning January 24th. Sunday morning, January 30th, infant Lonnie can be found in a baby carrier at Barney's feet near the sustain pedal of the Kimball upright! I can still feel that hammering left hand she had! One of the best in the business!!
Great impromptu accompanist. A lot of that went on in the early years of Church of God music services. Mom wasn't necessarily wanting to know the title of the song, just the preferred key, please. Or if the singer didn't know the key they could just start and she could find them in a New York minute! Amazed me when I learned enough to appreciate her gift and saw it in action.
Mom leaves a legacy of 2 sons, many grandchildren and great grandchildren. At the beginning of her hospice day while she was still lucid her Granddaughter, Amy and Amy's family came to visit from Evergreen, Colorado. It was a very special moment when her Great Grandson Grayson and his wife Laura told Barney that in 2023 she would become a great great Grandmother! As only Barney would, lying in her hospice bed, in her weak, shaky voice she immediately pronounced the gender of the child and also named it!
Years ago Mom gifted her body to medical research. She has aways been a generous giver. We are honoring her as she wanted us to by having private family celebrations of her life. If you would like to honor Mom in some way, she would want you to choose to give to an individual or cause that would directly benefit from your generosity.
Blessings!
