Family Focus Adoption Services

08/24/2026

"I also believe that that unshakeable bond is what a new parent has with their new-born baby: under normal circumstances, nothing can shake the parent’s bond to their baby. And I furthermore believe that the loss of that unshakeable bond lies at the very core of what our kids are missing... Our kids, like all kids, are entitled to being the beneficiaries of an unshakeable bond with some adult. It is right to give them that."

https://familyfocusadoption.org/right-and-wrong-7/

Two of my kids, both now dead, were birth brothers, only 14 months apart. They were literally tortured by their birth grandfather in monstrous ways that would have had that evil man easily arrested were his crimes to my kids revealed. The youngest, Irving, died in a terrible car crash when he was on...

08/10/2026

“On August 13, 1981, I finalized the adoption of my first legal son, Gilbert. I was 30. Yesterday, I finalized the adoption of my last (?), Thi. Did I have any right to do that at my age? Thi is 19, soon to be 20. I am 75, soon to be 76. How many more good years do I have? I even have grandchildren in their 30s. I have great-grandchildren. Was it fair to this 19-year-old to give him such an old father? Obviously, my answer – and his – was yes.”

In his recent blog post, Executive Director Jack Brennan talks about the positive impact adoption can have on a young adult’s life, no matter how old you are.

https://familyfocusadoption.org/right-and-wrong-6/

On August 13, 1981, I finalized the adoption of my first legal son, Gilbert. I was 30. Yesterday, I finalized the adoption of my last (?), Thi. Did I have any right to do that at my age? Thi is 19, soon to be 20. I am 75, soon to be 76. How many more […]

07/24/2026

“It is 48 years today since I took my first three kids. Over those 48 years, I have experienced that anger towards my kids’ behavior. Repeatedly. But I have also learned that it is my job to get past that anger and respond to the child in a way that reinforces our unshakeable bond. No “tit for tat” – though it sure is tempting. No going “down to their level” – although that too is often tempting. No “displays of power” to teach them a lesson or to give them a taste of their own medicine. My job is to lift them up and I can’t do that by bringing myself down to their level. My job is to respond to their behavior without reacting to my own anger.”

https://familyfocusadoption.org/right-and-wrong-5/

Father Huntington taught me, almost 60 years ago now, that the intention of all anger was destruction. At 17, that was beyond my understanding, although interestingly not beyond my experience. Anger, like most – if not all – feelings, impels us to do something. I’ve read, and I believe, that a...

07/13/2026

“The reality of our current culture is that families are not coming in to adopt – or even foster – older teens. Not that we always had a large contingent of such families, but it is much worse than ever. Yet, I remain convinced that there are some people out there who do have the wherewithal to give the kids a life. I keep thinking – hoping? – that it’s a matter of finding them. Otherwise, what choice – what adult - is there for these 4% of the foster care population?”

https://familyfocusadoption.org/right-and-wrong-4/

The reality of our current culture is that families are not coming in to adopt – or even foster – older teens. Not that we always had a large contingent of such families, but it is much worse than ever. The shortage is across the country apparently, and it is since COVID. My administrative staff...

07/01/2026

“My commitment to each of them is a parental commitment. I need nothing from them to make this commitment except their permission. They don’t owe me anything and never will. My choice to love them is MY choice. It is not conditional on any behavior of theirs, or feeling of mine. It is also not revocable.”

In his latest blog post, Executive Director Jack Brennan reflects on what it means to father - the choice to commit to the wellbeing of your children without condition or need for reciprocity. The parent-child relationship is founded on this commitment.

https://familyfocusadoption.org/right-and-wrong-3/

I adopted my first kids nearly 48 years ago, although their finalizations took a while. Since then, I have adopted many more. All of this came together again yesterday, on Father’s Day, when I heard from most of them, and many of my grandchildren. This past month, despite my age, I did it again. K...

06/23/2026

“[RAD kids] demand real: real nurturance, real commitment, real respect, real trust, and real love. They don’t often know what those real things are, but they sure as heck know what they aren’t. They need folks who believe in real, and recognize the superficiality of attachments.”

Executive Director Jack Brennan, in his latest blog post, talks about the 4% of children at risk of aging out of foster care without support, many of whom are diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). But, in a culture of superficial attachments, who can blame them? How can we, as a society and as a community, give these kids what they really need?

https://familyfocusadoption.org/right-and-wrong-2/

The push in recent years has been to avoid placing kids into foster care. The idea has been to keep the kids home and provide whatever services they or their families might need in order to make it work. It’s certainly working statistics-wise: the number of kids in care is getting smaller and smal...

06/11/2026

Our executive director, Jack Brennan, kicks off our new blog with a discussion on the reality of the children we work with, those 4% of foster children who risk aging out of the system without a family or a personal connection with a committed adult.

Despite the difficulties, there are those who found themselves capable of working with and parenting these children. What does it take? And what can you do to help?

06/09/2026

Family Focus Adoption Services is proud to announce that we have a new website! The redesign highlights our mission to help older children who are stuck in the foster care system and risk aging out without support.

Explore the new page about Our Beliefs, shaped by decades of experience, and head over to Programs to see how we put those beliefs into action.

https://familyfocusadoption.org/