04/20/2021
Sometimes mamahood days look like this : he wants to be held the entire am, but not in the sling. Every time I try to set him down, he cries. He acts like he’s hungry, and when I try to give him the b**b, he cries. We go outside for a change of pace, he is content to see me garden on a blanket for 3 min. I’m hungry, and try to make tuna salad one handed with him on other arm. I drink water and try to avoid him batting the glass out of my hand. I laugh. He giggles. I walk him to “contain” his energy. He wants down. I set him down and he practices scooting on some cushions with his head. I again try to make tuna salad while watching every 30 sec he doesn’t slam his head onto floor. He cries to be picked up again. I need to p*e, he comes with me. I offer my breast again, this time he eats, albeit with shallow latch, which we are working on. I let the cat out as she us super meowy and i know she will wake baby when he goes down for nap soon. I succeed in finishing salad making and drinking a cup of water. Phew 😅 I walk him for his nap and put on relaxing tibetan music. He cries, won’t fall asleep on me as he usually does. I get up to walk him again, he falls asleep in my arms. I contemplate setting him down on the bed, to sleep alone. (He usually wakes if i do this). I decide nah. I now have this free hr while he naps on me to breathe, drink water, eat my salad. Exhausting, yes. I still am so damn grateful all at the same time. even days like this will not be here forever. Mama, I see you if u are having a day like this. Honoring all us mamas.
