02/26/2020
By Kimberly Quinn
NAMI Ventura County
On Monday, Californians laid a legend to rest.
While Americans everywhere have mourned the death of Kobe and Gianna Bryant, I have watched an outpouring of grief much closer to home.
The Calabassas accident that killed the Bryants; John, Keri, and Alyssa Altobelli; Christina Ma**er; Sarah and Payton Chester; and Ara Zobayan while on the way to Thousand Oaks-based Mamba Academy has rocked our community.
Social media tributes, conversations overheard in coffee shops, and subtle memorials have colored my world over the past month. They have illustrated that Bryant’s life and legacies do not rest on his ability to play basketball.
Kobe Bryant’s legacy is his fiercely tenacious, resilient spirit.
Frankly, our community has been rocked too often by horrific and traumatizing tragedies in the past few years. But, like Bryant, Ventura County is deeply resilient.
I know a lot about trauma and resilience. I live with chronic mental illnesses, fueled in part by past trauma. In the classes I teach at NAMI Ventura County, I meet many people just starting to recognize it in their lives. For me, every single day is an exercise in practicing and modeling resilience and the choice to move forward.
Yesterday, someone shared their hope with me that Bryant’s memorial would allow his family and fans to start moving forward. An end also always marks a new beginning. We get to chose what is important to each of us in our new beginning.
As Ventura County moves forward, my hope is that we can renew our focus on caring for our friends, family, and neighbors as well as ourselves.
The lasting fallout of this latest tragedy is not limited to those who knew the victims personally or intimately. Many of us are experiencing deep emotions. Some are simply worn down by the seemingly relentless onslaught of heartbreaking events. Grief and trauma wear many faces. Anger, numbness, and agitation are as common as sadness and feeling lost
I would like to set a challenge for you today. My challenge is all about empathy, the most fundamental and powerful human experience we can share with each other.
Reach out to someone in your life. Do it today. Make that phone call you’ve been putting off. Text to check in with a friend. Ask your barista or postal worker how their day is going. Check in with yourself, too. If you’re experiencing difficult emotions that affect your daily life, there is help available.
One of the best things I’ve experienced working for NAMI Ventura County is the sheer quantity of empathy and love I see daily.
Families and individuals calling us for information, attending classes and support groups, and advocating for change are motivated by love. School teachers scheduling NAMI presentations are actively sowing seeds of empathy in students. The thousands of people who support and attend our annual NAMIWalk demonstrate the strength of a community determined to move forward.
Two days ago, we laid a legend to rest. Today, we chose to honor the legacy. We chose resilience. We chose empathy. We chose to stand together.
Kimberly Quinn is the program coordinator at NAMI Ventura County. Life has thrown her more than a few curveballs and she is often reminded that empathy and connection apowerful tools for surviving and thriving. You can reach her at [email protected].
