Protect Women Designs

09/24/2024

Help make up for budget cuts by donating or shopping my Etsy store where all proceeds go to Doorways. Link in bio.

09/22/2024

For those of you who don’t know, 99% of the proceeds from me selling on Etsy goes to . They recently experienced an extreme budget cut and need our help more than ever. If you’re willing and able, check out my Etsy page for some great handmade items where all proceeds go to Doorways or donate here.

06/04/2024

This means that any Protect Women Designs purchase through June 30 will result in triple the donation to

06/04/2024

This means everything purchased from Protect Women Designs through June 30 will result in 3x the donation to Doorways!

06/01/2024

I’ve teamed up with a local Girl Scout troop (ages 9-10) to create these awesome affirmation bracelets. The girls made them over the course of a month and a half and every affirmation answers the question, “what do you sometimes need to be reminded of?”

The girls came up with words like “strong, loved, compassionate, magnificent, magical, fearless, courageous, kind,” just to name a few.

Along with our crafting, a representative from came to talk to the girls about healthy friendships.

These bracelets would make great gifts for anyone you love, including yourself. We are selling them for $15 or 3 for $30 and donating $10 and $25 to Doorways, respectively.

Check them out at the Etsy shop in my bio!

04/02/2024

A really great article about why our societal norms make consent so “complicated.”

"When men are unaware of their gender privilege, boundary violations occur," writes psychologist Sandy Peace.

04/02/2024

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.

While my audience is largely women, this post isn’t just for you. Because it’s time we stop telling potential survivors how to protect themselves and start teaching potential criminals more.

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual touch. It doesn’t have to be r**e to be assault. It doesn’t have to be physically forced to be assault. If there was coercion involved to get consent, that’s assault.

The easiest way to prevent assault is to ensure you have consent. And consent is a nuanced idea.

Consent should always be:

1. Ongoing - it can be taken away at any second for any reason. You should also receive frequent yeses. Anything less than a yes is a no.

2. Freely Given - absent pressure, persuasion, or fear; also can this person legally give consent? Are they sober, coherent, old enough, etc.? Is there an equal power dynamic?

3. Specific - there no is blanket consent. Every touch requires specific consent. Again, look for an active yes.

4. Enthusiastic - and don’t you want to be with someone who is excited rather than nervous or reluctant?!

5. Informed - free of any white lies or tricks. All necessary information, including things like age, expectations, STI status, and relationship status must be provided for true consent.

If this sounds like a burden, then maybe you need to rethink how you engage sexually. This isn’t something we were all taught growing up, but wouldn’t you love to know that your partner felt 100% comfortable and eager to engage with you?!

03/28/2024

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Learn some ways to help!

Join Doorways by raising awareness about sexual assault and the many resources available to survivors. Act now!

02/06/2024

Hi friends! Tomorrow is the senate hearing for the parole bill I’ve been working on to add a domestic violence exemption. As a reminder, we’d like to add a domestic violence exception to the new geriatric parole bill. Domestic abuse is different from other crimes in motive and opportunity and sending people home to their victims will result in more lives lost. And, those lives will be disproportionately black women.

They’re accepting written testimony today, if you have the time and are willing (especially Maryland residents, but everyone’s voice is welcome!) After you create a MyMGA account, you can sign up as a witness and look for SB0128 under the Judicial Proceedings committee.

01/30/2024

I don’t want to talk about this actual football game, but, during a game this weekend, a player made a mistake and then went to the sidelines and punched the bench til his hand bled. They tended to his injury and the announcers reported it like it was any other injury.

This is toxic masculinity. A man being so unable to control his emotions that he has to hit things shouldn’t be seen as commonplace or normal. Excusing behavior like that is a slippery slope. Eventually, the difference between hitting things and hitting people blurs when you’re angry and have never learned to control those emotions (not accusing this player of that).

We shouldn’t just accept that men can’t control their emotions. We shouldn’t let this behavior happen and shrug it off.

Very few media outlets even reported on this (because I guess it’s not new or news). One website said this:

[He] was extremely animated and upset. And then the next time we saw him on our television screen he was showing his teammates a bloody hand. CBS' Evan Washburn reported that [he] sustained the injury while slamming the bench in frustration, which is truly incredible.

Truly incredible aren’t the words I’d use for this. Alarming. Inappropriate. Scary. We need to stop shrugging off behavior like this. How can we expect people to control their anger in the privacy of their homes if we don’t expect it in public? NFL players are considered heroes to many young people. This is not heroic behavior.

Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Zay Flowers is having one of the rougher 10-minute stretches in championship game history. With his team facing a 10-point defici

11/23/2023

"My daughter's body is actually hers, not mine."

11/23/2023

A week of migraines set me back a little, but I’m not quitting.

What does individuality look like in a healthy relationship? It means that, while you’re now part of a partnership, you’re also still a whole individual person too. A person with unique perspectives, hobbies, friends, and beliefs.

Being an individual within a relationship fosters a sense of independence and self-reliance. Relying on oneself for personal happiness and fulfillment, rather than depending solely on one’s partner, can lead to a more balanced and secure partnership. Independence can also prevent feelings of suffocation or codependency, which can be detrimental to a healthy relationship.

We’ve all heard the saying “if you love something, set it free.” It has real value aside from letting stray dogs go. Loving someone means loving their ability to be separate from you as much as it means loving them with you.

To be a better person in your life and a good partner in your relationship, it’s critical that you strive to maintain a strong sense of independence and autonomy and a well-developed point of view. With this ongoing goal, you can continue to cultivate and strengthen your unique traits as well as behavior that reflects your interests and ideals. In your relationship, you need to be careful that you are not looking for someone to complete your incompleteness or to define or affirm you.

Your relationship can change your perspective on things. Your relationship can add mutual friends. But, if your relationship has you isolating from old friends or doubting your beliefs and values, you may need to take a harder look at it.

Respect your partner by encouraging your partner’s unique interests and personal goals, independent of your own. Be sensitive to your partner’s wants, desires, and feelings, and place as much value on them as you do on your own. This type of interest in and feeling for your partner is altruistic and goes beyond any selfish or self-serving concerns you may have.

In order to achieve this level of regard, you need to have empathy with and compassion for your partner. This involves using your mind as well as your emotions and intuition to perceive and vicariously experience the nature of your loved one. When you understand your partner in this deeply empathetic manner, you are aware of what you have in common, but you also recognize and value your differences.

It can be helpful to ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I look to my partner to compensate for
any of my shortcomings? If so, in what
ways?

• Do I use my partner to relieve my
insecurities or loneliness?

• Am I an adult in my life and in my
relationship? Do I act childish or parental?

• Am I open and nondefensive in my
interactions?

• Do I strive to be honest when I
communicate?

• Do I have integrity in my life? Do my actions
and my words communicate the same
message?

• What are some of my partner’s personal
interests that are unique to him or her?

• Am I supportive of my partner’s interests?
Do I respect them as much as I respect my
own? Am I threatened by my partner’s
separate interests? Do I act discouraging or
belittling or dismissive of my partner’s
separate interests?

• How is my partner different from me? Which
differences do I like? Which ones do I
dislike?

• Am I successful in empathizing with my
partner? Am I able to feel what my partner
is experiencing as a person?

• Are there any gender stereotypes that are
hurting the respect that my partner and I
have for each other in our relationship?

And, equally important, is your partner doing all of these things for you? Flip those questions.

And remember, you can always ask an expert if you’re unsure. Thehotline.org offers 24/7 call and chat support and they will listen with a nonjudgmental approach, they are entirely anonymous, and they will never push you beyond what you’re ready for. You don’t need to be being abused to ask them about ways to make your relationship more healthy.