06/21/2025
Artistic flourish.?
“Dear Diary,
“I did NOT have the birthday of my dreams last weekend! Everyone knows that 79 is the tank birthday. One is paper, 77 is emoluments, 78 you get to destroy one constitutional amendment of your choosing, 80 you get to become the state, but 79 is tanks, and I was so looking forward to my tank birthday. https://theatln.tc/tXjVtWcf
“I thought it was pretty clear what I wanted. But obviously, it wasn’t!!! This was like the kind of tank parade your mom makes you lovingly from scratch, and I wanted the kind of tank parade that is made in China or North Korea. I don’t want a special American tank parade where our soldiers are waving and smiling out of the tanks. I want one like my friends have.”
Read Alexandra Petri’s full interpretation at the link.
📸: Andrew Harnik / Getty