Relational Harmony

Relational Harmony www.myrelationalharmony.org Relational Harmony provides individuals and couples with tools that resolve conflict and results in more joy in your relationships.

We offer individual sessions by phone, skype or in person. Please call to ask questions or set an appointment.

07/26/2017

Did you know the number one reason for relational and marriage dissatisfaction is selfishness? We often hear that relationships break up most often over finances, but isn't selfishness the heart issue?

Author, Gary Thomas states in the opening chapter of A Lifelong Love,
"It is possible to feel as if you are stuck in a rut in your marriage -- as if you and your spouse simply lack the raw material or natural resources of compatibility and intimacy skills to ever achieve anything even resembling happiness in your marriage . . . The spiritual principle is this: it's not what we have; it's what we do with it. When God becomes part of the equation, it's not what we get or bring into our marriages, but it's what we do with His empowering presence that creates a rich intimacy and a beautiful relationship."

As God captures our hearts and we fall more and more in love with Him we become vessels of His love for and towards our spouses. He even enables and empowers us to love our enemies.

Relational Harmony is a ministry founded by Jerry and Liz Hablitzel and is funded through the generous contributions of those who participate in this ministry of reconciliation.
Jerry Hablitzel 561-504-2832
Liz Hablitzel 561-632-0996
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Parents, this is worth a read. Most drug use starts in middle school. This is consistent with first hand accounts heard ...
05/23/2017

Parents, this is worth a read. Most drug use starts in middle school. This is consistent with first hand accounts heard from patients in treatment.

If you’ve seen an unexplainable or drastic change in your teenager’s honesty, grades, behavior, attentiveness, or friends, it may not be hormones. It could be that they are experimenting with intoxicating substances that are as close as your kitchen drawer, medicine cabinet or garage. It used to be ...

04/24/2017

Lately I have been considering the seen vs the unseen, the shakable vs the unshakable, the temporal vs the eternal, the earthly realm vs the heavenly realm. In seeking how to be a citizen of this earth while living in the ultimate reality of the Kingdom of God, I thought of how C.S. Lewis described heaven as ultimate reality. Here, A. W. Tozer tells us why we struggle between two worlds. “Our trouble is that we have established bad thought habits. We habitually think of the visible world as real and doubt the reality of any other. We do not deny the existence of the spiritual world but we doubt that it is real in the accepted meaning of the word.
The world of sense intrudes upon our attention day and night for the whole of our lifetime. It is clamorous, insistent and self-demonstrating. It does not appeal to our faith, it is here, assaulting our five senses, demanding to be accepted as real and final. But sin has so clouded the lenses of our hearts that we cannot see that other reality, the City of God, shining around us. The world of sense triumphs. The visible becomes the enemy of the invisible, the temporal, of the eternal. That is the curse inherited by every member of Adam’s tragic race.
At the root of the Christian life lies the belief in the invisible. The object of the Christian’s faith is unseen reality.”
He goes on to say, “Our uncorrected thinking, influenced by the blindness of our natural hearts and the ubiquity of visible things, tends to draw a contrast between the spiritual and the real; but actually no such contrast exists. The antithesis lies elsewhere: between the real and the imaginary, between the spiritual and the material, between the temporal and the eternal; but between the spiritual and the real, never. The spiritual is real.”
Let me live as a citizen of Reality.

03/31/2017

You may consider yourself a follower of Christ. What does it mean to follow Jesus? Is it possible that it means more than going to church and doing the right thing? Could how I treat others, especially the people closest to me be the real litmus test of my love for Christ? As my new friend, Foye Belyea says in his book, The Five Stones, An Everyday Guide to Following Jesus, “We can’t have right relationship with God without having right relationships with other human beings.” He goes on to suggest that it is only by receiving God’s love that we are able to give it. “As we trust how loved we are by God, His love through us becomes ‘supernaturally natural, an organic expression of His life lived in us’”. This comes through union with Christ. Do I reflect Jesus in my tone of voice? Do I reflect his kindness, patience, compassion and even his ability to love his enemies? Am I willing to do some self-reflection and ask God to search my heart and show me any wickedness in me? As we do the confessing, He does the forgiving, cleansing and making righteous.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Relational Harmony is a non-profit ministry dedicated to spiritual, emotional and relational health. This is accomplished through small groups, pastoral counseling, discipleship, preparation for marriage, dating and marriage mentoring and Spirit-led prayer counseling.

Relational Harmony is fully funded through the generous contributions of all who share our passion for gospel-centered, relational wholeness. We do not charge for our services, but welcome and appreciate financial contributions.

Jerry Hablitzel Liz Hablitzel
Senior Chaplain Certified Life Coach

03/10/2017

One of the core concepts of the gospel is "I am loved regardless of my behavior". How does that truth translate into human relationships? When I'm not feeling loved or feeling loving, what am I to do with feelings of loneliness, disappointment, fear or even betrayal? How do I apply the gospel to my heart when my heart is restless? I wonder if I am willing to evaluate what my heart needs and where I am looking for the answer? Am I looking horizontally to people, places or things or am I looking to the only source of true "shalom"?

"This God-- his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." Psalms 18:30

Relational Harmony is a non-profit ministry dedicated to spiritual, emotional and relational health. This is accomplished through small groups, pastoral counseling, discipleship, preparation for marriage, dating and marriage mentoring and Spirit-led prayer counseling.

Relational Harmony is fully funded through the generous contributions of all who share our passion for gospel-centered, relational wholeness. We do not charge for our services, but welcome and appreciate financial contributions.

03/03/2017

“Acceptance is the pathway to peace.” “Acceptance does not mean approval.”

In the world of Recovery we hear a lot about acceptance. How does it apply to the relational world? We may be observing a behavior in someone that ignites a negative emotion in us. It doesn't appear to be behavior that is pleasing to God. We are encouraged to take a direct approach, to talk about it with the person. After we have attempted to use all our relational skills and Matthew 18 skills, to no avail . . . so now what? We could find ourselves a bit stuck. This is a great time to acknowledge my powerlessness to change another person. It is time to accept what the other person is not willing to change. It means I'm powerless over the way the other person chooses to behave. By remembering that acceptance doesn't mean approval, I am left to make some choices. The ball is in my court. Here are some questions to consider; Do I stay in this relationship? Do I need to adjust my expectations of the relationship? Have I trusted inappropriately? Do I need to take a stand and allow God and natural consequences to take over? Is there a strong stand God is asking me to take? Will taking this stand mean I will be abandoned or rejected? This kind of self-reflection takes courage. Keep your eyes on Jesus, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Matthew 18: 15-17, Psalms 71:1, Joshua 1:9

Relational Harmony is a non-profit ministry dedicated to spiritual, emotional and relational health. This is accomplished through small groups, pastoral counseling, discipleship, preparation for marriage, dating and marriage mentoring and Spirit-led prayer counseling.

Relational Harmony is fully funded through the generous contributions of all who share our passion for gospel-centered, relational wholeness. We do not charge for our services, but welcome and appreciate financial contributions.

Jerry Hablitzel Liz Hablitzel
Senior Chaplain Certified Life Coach

02/21/2017

I’m Disappointed! Life is Not Fair!
How do I find the joy that God has promised me when someone has disappointed me? First let’s understand the process. 1) I had an expectation of someone. 2) They let me down. They fell short of my expectation. 3) I feel some combination of bad, sad and mad.
Hope comes when I take ownership of my expectations. They belong to me and set me up for disappointment. My Expectations minus Reality equals Disappointment. This allows me to take my focus off of the other person and grieve my legitimate loss. This grieving process helps me turn my eyes to Christ to allow him to comfort me and meet my needs. As I loosen my grip on what I so desperately want from the other person, I create space for my Heavenly Father to care for me. Finally, I am free to love the other person the way God loves me. God loves me with one-way love that helps me forgive when the other person blows it.
The Christian life is counter-intuitive to our selfish inclinations. The gospel is full of paradoxes. “You must be willing to give when others take, to love when others hate, to help when others abuse. By giving up your own rights in order to serve others, you will one day receive everything God has in store for you.”*
*Notes on “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” The Life Application Bible

Relational Harmony is a non-profit ministry dedicated to spiritual, emotional and relational health. This is accomplished through small groups, pastoral counseling, discipleship, preparation for marriage, dating and marriage mentoring and Spirit-led prayer counseling.

Relational Harmony is fully funded through the generous contributions of all who share our passion for gospel-centered, relational wholeness. We do not charge for our services, but welcome and appreciate financial contributions.

11/01/2016

An Election Prayer

I appreciate the emphasis on the wisdom and sovereignty of God. It is long, but is an education in Old Testament history and theology.

Father God, Son and Holy Spirit, Maker of heaven and earth, You are the First Cause of these United States of America.

You are sovereign.

You knew before time began who You would appoint as our 45th president. You ordained that this soul might be a tool of Your judgment, holy and merited, or a gift of Your mercy, wholly undeserved.

Please come, Holy Spirit, and dwell among Your people. Though we deserve Your wrath, we entreat Your mercy. Do not abandon us in our time of need.

Like Israel of old, America’s own, today, is a life marked by pride, selfishness, murder, idolatry, hypocrisy, greed, lust and every form of moral privation.

We have called evil good and good evil and have turned from Your face to our own treasured wickedness.

We have danced with the prophets of Baal and have made sacrifice to Moloch.

We repent. We need You now, alone and together, as much as at any time in our fleeting history.

Kyrie Eleison, Christ Jesus.

You are God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We confess that Your ways are not our ways and that Your thoughts are not our thoughts. As the heavens are higher than the earth, Your ways and thoughts are higher than our own.

And so we humbly seek wisdom in all we do and say. We covet Your spiritual discernment, Holy Spirit, and ask that, as we, a nation founded on Your principles and to Your glory and Honor, endeavor to elect our next chief executive, that You might direct our path, and that Your will might be done on this earth, as it is in heaven.

You use broken people, dear God – sinners who sin.

King David, a murderer and adulterer, was fallen.

But he humbled himself.

He repented.

And was a man after Your own heart.

You anointed, 150 years before he lived, Cyrus the Great, a pagan king debauched beyond redemption in the eyes of Your people, as the conduit through which You might free Your beloved from 70 years of captivity.

Cyrus humbled himself before You and was used mightily.

And the great Apostle? Saul of Tarsus murdered Your bride. He mocked her and held the executioner’s cloak as Christ’s followers were martyred in Your name.

But even then he was blinded by the Light of the World and made to see with the clarity of spiritual crystal.

He was made to love with a love that belied his fleshly character and, from Saul to Paul, was used by You to lead billions to the foot of the cross.

Have You chosen for us a King David, Lord? Is he a man, like all men, who has hated his brother and coveted his neighbor’s wife, yet, by Your grace and through Your stripes, has been healed and, while yet imperfect, has repented and revealed, by way of earthly fruits, that he is a man after Your own heart?

Or have You chosen for us a King Cyrus? A man, or a woman, who has yet to display through word or deed a heart broken and a will surrendered – a life marked by humility and repentance?

If You have chosen a candidate Cyrus, Abba Father, please surround him with men like Daniel.

And if You have chosen a candidate Saul, will You, we pray, break his or her heart and give to us a President Paul? If done before the eyes of the world, oh what a testament to the transformative power of Christ!

Who have You chosen, Father?

We cannot know.

But Your way is the right way, perfect and good.

If we are under Your judgment, let us be judged.

And if under Your blessing, let us be blessed.

We pray for the 45th president of the United States, that You might reveal Your will and purpose, and bless his or her soul.

And we pray for each candidate who falls short of the goal.

Remind us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us.

Guide us all, as we cast our ballots.

We pray that You might bless us with a David, a Cyrus or a Paul.

And humbly ask that You spare us our just deserts – an unrighteous leader, an Ahab or a Jezebel.

Yet either way, Thy will be done.

Because Your ways are higher than our ways.

And Your thoughts, higher than our own.

Matt Barber, from his website BarbWire

10/25/2016

A couple of one liners that I attribute to my wife Liz are; "You get what you allow" and "You teach people how to treat you". This does not leave much room for seeing oneself as a victim. Authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend say it this way, "What you value is what you will have . . .You get what you tolerate. In other words, in an imperfect world, imperfection will always seek you out, and if you tolerate it, you will certainly find all of it that you can handle. Unpleasant things seek the level they are allowed to exist in your life, especially in marriage.
While you might get all the bad stuff you tolerate, what about the good things in marriage? Where do they come from? They generally come from the same place from which "tolerance" comes: your values. On both the positive and the negative side, ultimately what you value is what you will have. If you value something in a relationship, you will not tolerate anything that destroys this value, and you will seek to make sure it is present and growing. And because of these values, the relationship takes on an identity and form, a character of its own. Certain things happen in a relationship and other things don't. What you value happens and what you don't value will be absent."

09/28/2016

"Relationship is what the gospel is about. It is a gospel of "reconciliation" (Rom. 5:11; Col. 1:19-20). This gospel brings hostile parties together (Col. 1:21) and heals relationships between God and humanity, and between people.
The gospel brings things back to their created order, the truth and order of God. In terms of relationships, we think that God's order of relationship is himself and the way he works. And that is why we think boundaries are so important, because he has them and we are to be redeemed into his image."
Boundaries, authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Relational Harmony is a ministry dedicated to the emotional and relational wholeness of the Body of Christ. Relational H...
09/26/2016

Relational Harmony is a ministry dedicated to the emotional and relational wholeness of the Body of Christ. Relational Harmony aids individuals in finding the passion and love for Christ so overwhelming, they can't help but give it away. This is accomplished through small groups, coaching, mentoring, spiritual direction and most importantly through prayer and meditation. Please Like and share these postings with your friends.

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