06/03/2026
“. . . steady as a clock, busy as a bee, and cheerful as a cricket. . . .”
Martha Washington was the wife of our first president. During her long life, she acted as his hostess, cared for sick and injured soldiers, and lifted the morale of officers and soldiers alike during the Revolution. But beyond these accomplishments, she was a loving wife and mother completely devoted to her family. Her life was one that was plagued by tragedy, but through it all she showed a grace and a dignity that earned her the title Lady Washington.
Early Life
Martha Dandridge was born on June 2, 1731 at Chestnut Grove plantation in the colony of Virginia. She was the first born child of John Dandridge (1701-1756) and Clara Jones (1710-1785). John Dandridge emigrated from England in 1714. At the time of his marriage in 1730, he was a successful planter with 500 acres along the Pamunkey River. During his life he held important positions in his community such as the clerk of New Kent County, colonel in the colonial militia, and vestryman at his church. Clara Jones was an orphan who had inherited land in King William County.
Martha was one of eight children, three brothers and four sisters. Her early years would have been typical for the daughter of a Virginia planter of their status, comfortable but not lavish. There would have been schooling under a tutor who taught her reading, writing and mathematics, along with lessons from her mother on the running of a plantation house and the accomplishments of a lady. Martha could sew, play the spinet (an instrument similar to a piano), and dance. She also enjoyed riding horses, gardening, and poetry. She was well known for her fine needlework, love of reading, and excellence in letter writing.
Marriage
In 1750, At the age of 19, pretty and petite Martha married the much older and wealthier Daniel Parke Custis (1711-1757). They lived at his home on the Pamunkey River, called White House Plantation, just a few miles from her parents. Custis owned over 17,000 acres of land and nearly 300 slaves. The son and grandson of important leaders in the colonies, Daniel Parke Custis chose the quiet life of a country planter. The marriage appears to have been a happy one, and the couple had four children, Daniel Parke Custis Jr., Frances Parke Custis, John "Jacky" Parke Custis, and Martha "Patsy" Parke Custis. Sadly the two oldest died when they were very young. Daniel and Frances were both buried at Bruton Parish church in Williamsburg, Virginia, alongside Custis’ mother.
With her marriage, Martha was elevated to the highest social class of Virginia society. While her father was a respected member of the gentry, her husband was one of the wealthiest men in the colony and a member of the highest level of plantation society. Her new position required her to entertain lavishly with balls and dinners. She also decorated their home with the finest furnishings and wore the latest fashions.
After just seven years of marriage, Martha was widowed. Daniel Parke Custis died intestate, without a will. Under Virginia law, Martha would have a lifetime interest in one third of the Custis estate, with the other two thirds being held in trust for Jacky, age 3, and Patsy, just one year. Martha's share would remain her own until she remarried, but upon her new husband's death would revert to her. She was now the wealthiest widow in Virginia. During this time, Martha showed business acumen in the management of the estate. Her letters written to London to***co merchants show a shrewd business head. Her wealth, youth, loveliness, taste, accomplishments, and business savvy made her an exceptional candidate for marriage. Her widowhood would not last two years.
George Washington
It was typical at this time for people in the colonies to remarry. A man would want a wife to run his home and mother his children. A woman would want a provider and father for her children. As a wealthy widow, Martha had no need for a provider, so she could choose a new husband for love. This she did.
Apparently having already made the acquaintance of Martha at the home of a mutual friend, or possibly having known the couple before the death of Custis, George Washington began his courting of the pretty, young widow on March 16, 1758. On that day, he rode 35 miles from Williamsburg to Martha's home. Perhaps to impress her, he left generous tips for her slaves on his visit. A week later he returned for another social call before resuming his military duties as an officer in the French and Indian War. Washington had competition from the wealthy planter Charles Carter of Shirley Planation. However, it was Washington who won out and within a few months George and Martha began to plan a life together. Washington began a remodel of his estate, Mount Vernon. Perhaps he did not think it fine enough in comparison to Martha's home, White House Plantation. Martha began to place orders with her agent in London for appropriate wedding clothes. She asked for something “grave but not Extravagant nor to be mourning,” Their wedding was to be held just 18 months after the death of her first husband.
On January 6, 1759, George and Martha wed. Their wedding was an elegant affair. Washington wore a blue and silver suit trimmed in red with gold knee buckles. Martha wore a dress of yellow silk damask and a petticoat (under dress) of cream silk interwoven with with silver threads. The lace which trimmed her wedding finery was the superfine Dresden lace. Her slippers were deep purple with spangled buckles. The wedding took place at her home and was officiated by the Reverend Peter Mossum. They honeymooned at White House Plantation for several weeks before traveling to their new home together, Mount Vernon.
Mount Vernon
Established at home in Mount Vernon, the couple settled into the comfortable life of the planter class. Their marriage was a happy one without a hint of infidelity or discord. They had no children of their own, but set about raising Martha's two surviving children. Washington was fond of Jacky and Patsy, now four and two, and wanted to take on the full roll of father, but Martha did not permit this. Perhaps she was too kindhearted to do anything but spoil and indulge her children.
The family lived comfortably. Martha was a careful and industrious housewife. However, several years of bad harvests coupled with the expenses of running a large estate and entertaining in the expected manner took a toll on the family finances. Washington vetoed a trip for Jacky saying the boy was too immature and they could not afford it. Instead he was sent to school. Unfortunately, the much spoiled Jacky was not studious and preferred having fun to his studies. This was something which upset Washington who himself did not have the opportunity for an education that Jacky now had.
In 1773, tragedy struck the family. Patsy died at the age of 17 from an epileptic seizure. Martha was heartbroken. Her son, Jacky, wanted to come home from school, but Martha urged him to stay. He stayed at school some months before heading home to Mount Vernon. And with him he brought a new wife, Eleanor "Nelly" Calvert.
Revolution
In 1774, the difficulties between Great Britain and her colonies were escalating. This brought further changes to Mount Vernon. Martha felt torn in her loyalties. George and many of their guests at Mount Vernon sided with the Patriots, but their neighbors and her daughter-in-law's family were Loyalists. Despite her conflicts, Martha supported her husband. When George left to take militia to Massachusetts, Martha, Jacky, Nelly, and several friends made the two week trip to be with him at Christmas. When the others returned home, Martha stayed with him until June of 1776. They were separated for the next nine months, until he took sick and Martha traveled to take care of him. When the fighting got close, he sent her home.
This was a pattern they carried on throughout the war. Martha would join George whenever she could and whenever he would permit her. While there, she would not only care for the Commander in Chief of the Continental Army but the troops as well. There is a story that Washington’s officers each year would wait anxiously for her arrival looking forward to that improvement she would bring to the General’s mood. Martha joined George during the winter 1775 at Cambridge, Massachusetts; was with him that spring 1776 at New York; again during the spring 1777 at Morristown, New Jersey; and spent that horrible winter of 1778 at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania by his side. Martha also used her position to encourage women to volunteer to help the Continental Army and would purchase with her own funds things she thought the men needed. She also entertained the officers and their wives to lighten their spirits. For her efforts, the troops awarded her the title of Lady Washington.
When she was home at Mount Vernon, Martha was tasked with managing the house and the family. Washington had a member of his extended family run the plantation, so that burden was not placed on her. One courageous decision she made was to have the family inoculated against small pox. This deadly disease had been running rampant through the army. More soldiers were dying from small pox than from British muskets. Furthermore, fear of the disease had kept some from enlisting. Washington had ordered the soldiers inoculated against it. Martha decided to try the procedure at home. It was not without risks. Some who underwent inoculation died. Bravely and on her own, Martha had the inoculations performed.
Towards the end of the war, Martha's son Jacky was becoming restless. When he left for war, George had asked Jacky and his wife to stay at Mount Vernon with Martha. Now Jacky decided he wished to enlist in the army and to serve as an aide to his stepfather. Jacky joined Washington at the Battle of Yorktown. Unfortunately his service was short. He died of camp fever in November of 1781. Jacky was the last of Martha's children and his death left her so distraught that George would not permit her to join him that winter. But Martha was not alone at Mount Vernon. Jacky and Nelly had six children, Eliza Parke Custis, Martha Parke Custis, Eleanor Parke Custis, a set of twins, and George Washington Parke Custis. After the birth of Eleanor, Nelly was in poor health, so the baby was sent to Mount Vernon. After the death of the twins and the birth of George Washington Parke Custis, he was also sent to Mount Vernon. When their mother recovered and remarried, the children should have been sent back to her, but due to some confusion over the guardianship, and Martha's distress at the thought of their leaving, they stayed on with her at Mount Vernon.
With the Treaty of Paris in 1783, the war was over. George resigned his commission, first with a party for his officers at Fraunce's Tavern in New York City, and then formally to the Continental Congress at Annapolis, Maryland. He returned to Mount Vernon on Christmas Eve of 1783, though he was not destined to stay there.
After the War
With their return to Mount Vernon, Martha and George settled back into their domestic life, running a plantation house, caring for her grandchildren, and entertaining the myriad of visitors who stopped and stayed at the plantation each year. Washington once remarked that he never knew who he would find at the dinner table. In 1785, Martha became ill. It was about the same time that her mother and brother died. Fortunately, Washington was able to find a tutor for the children. Tobias Lear, who functioned as a secretary to George, took some of the domestic burdens off of Martha.
The family continued living happily at Mount Vernon until 1787 when George was selected as a delegate to the Constitutional Convention. There he was made president of the Convention and before he left he was urged to accept the presidency of the United States. He and Martha both knew he would be elected and borrowed the money for the move to New York City. Plantations owners were wealthy, but there is a difference between having many assets and having ready cash.
Lady Washington
George arrived in the temporary capital before Martha. She and the children did not arrive until after the inauguration and ball. Still, she was hailed upon her arrival in the city. She found the attention quite overwhelming.
As the wife of the president, the title First Lady had not yet been coined, she was expected to not only run his home but to arrange and serve as hostess at official government dinners, balls, and receptions, entertaining congressmen and foreign ambassadors alike. Washington's secretary, who had spent some time in Europe, had drawn up a set of protocols for the new first family. These Martha did not enjoy as she found that they limited her opportunities to socialize with other women and families. She also disliked the attention that was paid to her private activities. Still here, as at Mount Vernon, they settled into a happy family routine. George would host receptions for the respectable men on Mondays, on Thursdays they would host dinners together, and Martha would hold receptions for mixed company on Fridays. Sundays they reserved for family. They would attend church at St. Paul’s in the morning and then in the afternoon take the children on outings around the city.
Before the first year was out, the capital was moved to Philadelphia, at the time the largest and most cosmopolitan American city. Martha and the children loved it there. She had many old friends with whom she could visit. She attended parties and theater performances. The Philadelphia years were certainly the most pleasant of her husband's presidency.
During Washington's administration, there is no evidence that Martha ever tried to influence government policy. However, she did use her position and influence to help the veterans of the Revolution. She would personally provide them with monetary help. The veterans continued to be devoted to her and her popularity spread even to Europe where she was looked at as an American heroine. Some sent her lavish gifts while others tried to profit off of her. One European engraver created a picture he labeled “Lady Washington.” It looked nothing like her.
Return to Private Life
At the end of Washington's second term in office, the Washingtons returned to Mount Vernon. This return to domestic routine and comfortable family life brought more changes, this time happy ones. Nelly Custis married Washington's nephew, Lawrence Lewis. The new couple made their home at Mount Vernon while their home, Woodlawn, was being built on land given them by George. While they were living there, Nelly gave birth to their first child, Frances Parke Lewis. The child was a delight to Martha and a comfort to her in her greatest loss.
In December of 1799, Washington went out riding to inspect the estate. The weather was cold and wet. George returned home with a cold that turned into an infection in his throat. On December 14, he died with Martha at his side. She was so devastated by his death that she locked up their bedroom and moved to a small room on the third floor. She could not even attend his funeral. During her remaining years she would speak of how deeply she missed him and her desire to join him once again.
In his will, Washington had granted that upon Martha's death, his slaves would be freed. Martha did not ask them to wait, but granted them their freedom right away. (Martha's slaves could not be freed because they were part of her dower and belonged to the Custis estate.) By 1802, Martha's own health was failing. Knowing her time was limited, she drew up her will and burned the letters between her and George (two miraculously survived). With Nelly by her side, Martha passed away peacefully on May 22. She was laid to rest next to George in a tomb at Mount Vernon.
Honors
Martha was the first woman to be honored with her picture on a postage stamp. The first issuance was an eight cent in 1902 and a second one for four cents in 1923. The third one was for one and half cents and was issued in 1938.
Martha is the only woman to have her face on American paper money. She appeared on an 1856 note with her face on one side and the Baptism of Pocahontas on another. She was also on a one dollar silver certificate from 1886 to 1891.
In 2007, a $10 gold coin and bronze medallion were issued as part of the First Spouse Program. Martha's sold out in hours.
A row galley, the USS Lady Washington, was named in her honor. It was the first ship named for a woman and the first named for a living person.
Trivia
Martha Washington was the first widow of a president to be given free postage. This was to help her deal with the incredible volume of condolence letters she received after the death of Washington.
Martha Washington’s grandson, George Washington Parke Custis built Arlington House. He was the father of Mary Custis. Mary was the wife of Robert E. Lee. Today Arlington is the most honored of all national cemeteries.
