09/13/2023
From our missionaries in El Salvador. Please pray for their son Ben and their family! To donate click on the link below in the comments.
The Summer We Almost Lost Our Son It has taken me several months to write any update at all about our family and ministry here in El Salvador - not because I didn't want to write you all (many of you are like family to us), but because, in some way, I couldn’t bear to actually put it into words.
If you have been through trauma before, then you understand. There is a part of me that wants to forget what happened. But as I pray though it, I know in my heart that this is something that we are meant to share with all of you; that talking about in shines light on the lonely darkness that intense trials produce. And as we invite others into our suffering, even if we can’t fully comprehend it, it glorifies God.
If you don't have time to read the whole story, I’ll give you the TLDR:
Our youngest son Ben was in and out of the hopsital during two months this summer with pneumonia and then with anti-biotic resistant e-coli which he contracted in the hosptial. During this whole time we received poor and varied medical care, and Ben’s health took a dramatic downlward spiral, charecterized by constant vomit, diarhea, and severe weight loss, bringing him close to death.
How had it got so bad, so fast? It all started with a small cough, and in my mind everything was manageable and a totally normal part of childhood. After a few days, we took him to the doctor, who was immediately concerned and sent us to the hospital, where he was treated for pneumonia. But two weeks later he was breathing fine, but was vomitting everything he ate.
When we recorded our video on his birthday (May 26th) the doctors had told us he was getting better, that the pneumonia was almost gone, and we were hopeful. What we didn’t know was that his symptoms were from a totally new infection, and had nothing to do with the initial pnuemonia he was first hospitalized for.
As he relapsed the day after his birthday (and continued to vomit everything he ate), we knew something was wrong. After a month of being sick, and several failed treatment plans, he was only getting worse, and had lost a total of 25% of his body weight. His little body was so weak and broken down that he was unable to lift his head up, babble, or play at all. He was on a downward spiral, and nothing was helping him get better.
But, when we talked to the doctors, they were all insistent on continuing his treatment for pnuemonia, and didn’t see the need to check in on him or order follow up testing for anything else, even though he continued vomiting.
After several days into his second hospital visit, against their advice, we pulled him out, and took him to see our normal pediatrician. She was our last option, but was unable to do anything different or help him recover at all, his condition only got worse, none of the medicines they were giving him could stop his vomit, and all the doctors told us to do was continue with the same treatment.
Ben had been vomiting for nearly a month, and we knew at that moment, that if something didn't change and fast, he was going to die.
But when things got their worst, our church here rallied around us. They wanted to help us, and were willing to stand behind us no matter what happened. They encouraged us to send our son to another pediatrician, and gave us a love offering to pay for it. But we had already been to two hospitals and seen a total of five doctors, would another doctor really make a difference? After praying we decided to take Ben the next day to yet another appointment.
Things changed immediately with the new doctor who noticed a pattern in what was happening, and ordered a new and more thorough round of tests. The new tests uncovered antibiotic resistant e-coli infections throughout his body. Within 48 hours of taking new medicines, after nearly a month of vomiting everything, Ben finally stopped throwing up.
Lingering questions
Within a month of starting his new treatment plan, Ben had gained back the weight that he had lost. But I had not recovered.
His health had fallen so suddenly, and this experience was something we had never seen before with our other children. What guarantee did we have now that all of this wouldn't happen again?
On top of my insecurity, the hardest part about Ben’s sickness was knowing that it could have been easily prevented - if we been in the United States. But in El Salvador, medical care is not on the same level - and there many people here that suffer because of that. Our family was no exception.
When things were at their worst, the reality of being unable to do anything else for our son paralyzied me, and left me feeling like a failure as a father. We were receiving the same level of care as people we have been serving; but as independent missionaries we were unable to even medivac him or do anything else for him. Had God not led us the way He did, our son could have died on the altar of missions.
God’s plan in action
The reality is that we are not alone in facing the suffocating reality of death, for Jesus himself, after having already seen his own creation ravaged by death, took on the form of a man, and laid His own life down to end death, once and for all. Death has no place in God’s universe, and Jesus’ death on the cross was the promise that death was done.
But as the Apostle Paul says, these things are here, and yet still not yet; we have been given the promise of a deathless world, eternal life, and the Holy Spirit as down payment here and now, but the promise of pain free existence has as yet to be fully realized. We are still waiting, groaning under oppression of death, for the resurrection - not just of believers, but of the whole world itself; a new heaven and a new earth.
What God did in our lives during this season
While we were in the middle of our sons health crisis, a lot of other surprising things happened. We saw our church turn into our family. Not everyone understood what was going on, but for the first time since we’ve been in El Salvador we saw a church rally around someone and hold up their arms up during the time of trial. God moved through the body in a way that encouraged and healed us, but also pulled all of us together.
Final thoughts
Many people struggle to feel God’s love in their lives. Honestly, I am often one of those people. But reality is often quite different from our feelings. And even if we were able to ball up all of our struggles and suffering and set-backs into one giant stone, it would still be incapable of moving our Heavenly Father away from us by even an inch.
We may find, at times, that this stone of suffering is big enough to obscure our vision of who He is, and may even do so for long enough to cause us be drawn away. But even if our vision of Him has grown completely opaque, we are only one step away from returning completely to Him, and once again we will see His lovely face in the clarity of day.
My hope is that is what is happening now, both in our lives, and in yours too!
Blessings in Christ,
Theo
