06/12/2026
Dare to read a fresh take on the messaging and beliefs LGBTQIA+ kids face? Dr. Lulu isn't afraid to say what others won't.
"Bias begins at home.
Every time I say it, someone gets uncomfortable.
Good.
Because if we're going to talk honestly about bias, we have to be willing to talk about where it comes from.
Most of us think of bias as something that happens out there. We blame politicians, social media, schools, healthcare systems, religious institutions, and the news. While all of those things can certainly reinforce bias, very few of us stop to ask where it started.
The truth is that many of our earliest beliefs are formed long before we ever leave home.
As children, we learn what is acceptable and what is not. We learn who belongs and who doesn't. We learn which identities are celebrated and which identities are tolerated. We learn which conversations are welcome and which conversations are shut down.
Those lessons don't always come through formal teaching. Sometimes they come through jokes. Sometimes they come through silence. Sometimes they come through a look, a sigh, a warning, or a casual comment made at the dinner table.
Over time, those messages become thoughts.
Those thoughts become beliefs.
And those beliefs become the lens through which we see ourselves and other people.
For many LGBTQ+ children, especially Black LGBTQ+ children, the messages they receive about people like them are often negative. Sometimes they hear that being q***r is wrong. Sometimes they hear that it is shameful. Sometimes they hear that it is disappointing. And sometimes they simply learn that certain topics should never be discussed at all.
Children are always listening.
Even when we think they aren't.
A child who repeatedly hears negative messages about LGBTQ+ people may eventually begin to wonder if those messages apply to them. They may begin to question their worth. They may start hiding parts of themselves. They may become experts at reading the room, managing the emotions of adults, and editing themselves to stay safe.
The consequences can be profound: Anxiety. Shame. Isolation. Depression. Self-harm. Suicidality. But even before any of those things happen, something else is lost.
Authenticity.
The freedom to be fully seen. The freedom to belong. The freedom to exist without apology. The good news is that learned beliefs can be challenged.
Bias can be unlearned.
And if bias begins at home, then affirmation, it's antidote, can begin at home too.
Affirmation is the intentional practice of recognizing, respecting, and supporting people for who they say they are.
It doesn't require perfection. It doesn't require expertise. It starts with curiosity. It sounds like:
"Tell me more."
"Thank you for trusting me with that."
"How can I support you?"
"What do you need from me right now?"
Those simple phrases may not seem revolutionary. But for someone who has spent years feeling unseen, they can change everything. That's why I do this work. Because I have seen what bias can do. But I've also seen what happens when people choose affirmation instead.
And trust me, affirmation changes lives."
-Dr. Lulu
