03/26/2024
Excerpt of "Reappearing Before Her Eyes, The Isabella LaBlanc Story, based on true events, By Michelle Santana
Chapter 23
2016
Isabella, who was renting a wonderful apartment from Jason, started accepting job offers from him to help cover her rent. This arrangement was proving to be highly beneficial for both parties.
One morning, as Isabella stepped out of her apartment and descended the stairs into the breezeway that lay between his house and the garage, Jason emerged from his side door.
“I need assistance with a job, Isabella. I developed this community years ago, but the roads weren’t designed properly. There are massive cracks, and I plan to fill them with asphalt. Can you lend a hand?”
“Of course, I can help. Just let me walk Mary and then I’ll change my clothes.”
As Isabella walked Mary, she reflected on her good fortune: a wonderful place to live, work from Jason, and an increasing number of clients requesting her cleaning services, not to mention the ten vacation cabins.
Isabella helped Mary back to their apartment, quickly changed into some old clothes, and dashed down to depart with Jason. She leaped into Jason’s jeep, noticing he was already seated at the wheel, waiting for her.
They traversed the town, setting course for Clayton, Georgia. Ten miles in, they approached the community’s gate. “Isabella, hop out and open the gate,” Jason instructed.
With ease, Isabella exited to unlatch the gate. The community was nestled on a mountain, and as they ascended towards the expansive blue sky, dotted with massive, fluffy white clouds, Isabella felt they were so high, she could almost touch them.
Once Jason reached the peak, he reversed slightly, struggling to halt the jeep. Isabella considered the heavy trailer attached behind, laden with asphalt buckets.
“Oh my goodness,” Isabella thought. “The load is too much for this small jeep to handle on such a steep slope, and we’re about to tumble down the mountain’s sharp descent.”
Isabella’s heart raced, threatening to leap from her chest. Jason seemed unable to stop. Just when Isabella felt overwhelmed by fear, Jason turned to her, bursting into laughter as he finally slowed the jeep and maneuvered it around.
Isabella leaped out before the jeep had fully halted. She didn’t find it amusing. However, after taking a few deep breaths and feeling her heartbeat decelerate, Jason remarked, “Oh come on, Isabella, you must have known I was just joking.”
“I didn’t know, Jason, and please never do that again,” she responded firmly.
Jason grinned, struggling to suppress his laughter. “My apologies, Isabella.”
Now descending the mountain, Jason chocked the tires, exited the vehicle, and started instructing Isabella on her task. She retrieved one bucket at a time from the trailer, flipped open the lid, and methodically poured the viscous asphalt into the road’s crevices.
Emptying twenty buckets of asphalt into the vast cracks didn’t take long. Roughly four hours later, they were prepared to head back home.
Isabella felt a wave of relief as they ascended the steep driveway. The sight of her beautiful home still filled her with awe, especially after a strenuous day’s work.
Bounding out of the jeep, Isabella waved at Jason and ascended the steps to her apartment with joy. As she opened the door, Mary leaped up, greeting Isabella with enthusiastic tail wags, expressing her happiness.
…………….
Isabella started to receive phone calls requesting her home cleaning services, primarily through referrals from Jason, her landlord and employer, in addition to the ten vacation cabins she maintained. Despite her busy schedule, Isabella consistently found time to exercise at the Rec Center and swim in Lake Chatuge.
One day, Isabella decided to visit the lake. She parked at a public boat ramp, exited her car, secured her ski belt, inserted her ear plugs, and made her way to the boat ramp.
Descending the ramp, she walked until the water was deep enough for swimming. She began with the breaststroke, but upon tiring, she flipped over to the backstroke, admiring the encircling mountains.
Her enjoyment was immense when suddenly, the sound of a rocket launch pierced the air. In an instant, two fighter jets soared overhead, their proximity sending a thrilling rush through Isabella unlike anything she’d ever felt.
After her swim, Isabella stopped at Zaxby’s for a chicken salad. By the time she arrived home to eat, her hunger was intense following the hour-long swim.
Life seemed to be improving until Isabella could finally travel to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. However, she hadn’t heard from Jakob for many weeks, leaving her filled with anxiety and worry. She continued to email him regularly, updating him on her life’s progress and expressing her longing for him.
After two months without any response, Isabella received a call from a Constable. “Hello,” she answered.
“Isabella Boudreaux?”
“Yes, speaking.”
“Ms. Boudreaux, I regret to inform you of some unfortunate news over the phone. Jakob passed away a few weeks ago due to a massive stroke. I am truly sorry for your loss. His sons found your contact details and requested that I reach out to you.”
Isabella ended the call, her heart sinking. It had been shattered into pieces the previous year, and now, it fractured down its center as she collapsed to the floor in tears. Her heart, which had only just begun to heal, was broken once more. Isabella was caught in a bittersweet reverie. During my birthday phone call with Jakob, he recalled who I truly was to him before his accident. I’m certain that his photographic memory brought back all the memories of our countless conversations across more than a thousand emails, overwhelming him with recollections from before his accident. He remembered all the plans we made: to travel together as I spoke out against childhood s*xual abuse. We had so many dreams that would never come to fruition, and Jakob had given up on me and on his life.
Isabella felt as if her life was over, unable to envision a future where happiness was possible. Everything seems utterly hopeless to me. I despised my existence here in the North Georgia mountains. I am convinced that nothing will ever change. The desire to flee was overwhelming, yet there seemed to be nowhere to escape to—except to her Papa God, in whom she placed her hope for deliverance.
She recalled the email Jakob had sent her the night before he departed on his trip, the same day he was involved in a car accident.
Each of us is here on Earth to learn what we need to learn. As individuals, we differ and each have our own path back to the Creator’s way. We trail behind as the Creator evolves faster than we do, and we have a long journey to catch up. Earth is a place of immense learning. We are remarkable beings. Painful lessons are opportunities for us to observe, perhaps to transform a negative pattern into a positive one. We must look with the eyes of a child—open, honest, free of ego, with a thirst for knowledge. Accepting the lesson means not having to repeat it, unless we failed to understand and change our thought patterns initially. We originate from God, created in the image of God (positive energy), and our bodies are the vessels that allow us to enjoy this world, sustained by enzymes from wholesome foods. It’s essential to nourish the soul with positive thoughts, love, and acceptance. Our growth in lessons is crucial for the growth of our souls. We possess brains, but we are not just our brains or bodies. We are our souls, eternal and enduring.
The body and brain are transient, while the soul remains with us for life. Plants grow, endure the rain and hail, and emerge stronger in new forms. They produce seeds, perish, and from those seeds, new life sprouts, continuing their innate cycle. It’s crucial to honor plants, animals, humans, and ourselves. We govern our existence, embrace our lessons, and can awaken to life’s divine light, the Creator. Energy is perpetual; the universe constantly expands, we persist in breathing and evolving through learning and more. Our body is a vessel; when it disintegrates, its essence, the energy, and vitality, return to the fundamental elements, ready to transform anew. Wayne Dyer simplified these concepts, allowing us to perceive the world anew, as if through the eyes and ears of an infant. When his words strike a chord, it’s an invitation to explore further, opening new doors for growth.
Jakob
Now, the email held a different significance for Isabella. It was a lesson in not accepting blame for things beyond her control. She resolved to put an end to the recurring events in her life where she was wrongly held responsible. For a long time, Jakob had concurred that his accident was not Isabella’s fault. Yet, ultimately, he did place the blame on her.
This shift in blame made it particularly difficult for Isabella to release the unjust accusation she harbored within. She continued to struggle with the belief that she was the cause of Jakob’s accident. Despite her grief, she was resolved to work through it and release the burden of knowing that, deep down, Jakob held Isabella responsible, even as he declared himself to be at fault.
Isabella came to the realization that she had been shouldering the blame for events stretching back to her childhood, when her father held her responsible for all the misfortunes befalling them.
Isabella was consumed by the pain and hurt of being labeled a liar for the abuse she endured in childhood. She found herself repeatedly facing adverse events as an adult, often being blamed for various circumstances in her life. I rationalized Eddie’s behavior towards me and justified Jakob’s accusations against me for too long. She resolved to no longer treat herself that way.
Isabella was resolute in overcoming the dreadful event for which Jakob had blamed her. Now that he was gone, she was left without closure. The pain of his blame was as intense as the lack of his acknowledgment that it wasn’t her fault, an acknowledgment he seemed to give before depression and anguish consumed him. Isabella understood that Jakob’s accident was not her fault, just as he had initially recognized.
He was relieved from dealing with life’s troubles in death. Yet, he believed he received a text from an employee about an urgent request from Isabella, which was completely untrue. Isabella had no need for anything from Jakob; he had informed her that he would be out of internet range during his trip. Consequently, Isabella made no requests in her emails; she simply wanted him to read them once he was back online.
Moreover, Jakob pleaded guilty to an accident he couldn’t recall, suffering from memory loss due to a brain injury sustained in the incident.
Isabella pondered how Jakob’s lawyers and family could allow him to accept the blame. Jakob couldn’t recall the accident due to the brain injury he sustained. Isabella sensed that Jakob believed she needed something because his employee informed him. Consequently, Jakob paused to revise a business card he had created for Isabella and sent it back to her via email.
In Isabella’s mind, she justified his actions with the fact that his expertise in safety, which was his profession, led him to stop and use his computer. It was clear to her that he wouldn’t be driving while engaged in such tasks. Only after he had finished did he pull out in front of another car. Given the nature of his computer work, it was impossible for him to drive and operate his computer simultaneously.
It’s disgraceful how his long-time comrades in the police force, including the Constable in charge of Jakob’s probation, scorned him due to his accident. They ought to have supported him, preventing a guilty plea for a situation like Jakob’s. Yet, it was these very brothers who accused Jakob in the accident. Such a shame. Isabella would wager that Jakob wasn’t truly at fault.
The individual Jakob collided with was uninsured. It’s often assumed that someone without insurance may also neglect other legal responsibilities. Isabella considered the possibility that the other driver was speeding, which could explain why, despite Jakob checking both directions before entering the intersection, the other vehicle wasn’t visible until Jakob was already in the process of turning.
Isabella attributed everything that happened to Jakob and the suffering he endured from his police brothers, which she believed led him to lose hope and ultimately to his death.
More determined than ever, Isabella resolved to make the journey to Vancouver, British Columbia. She sought closure. She yearned to visit the city where Jakob served as a Canadian Royal Mounted Police officer, the place he called home his entire life, and the city they had planned to visit together twice. It was the city where Isabella once envisioned building a life with Jakob. She believed that making this trip would finally allow her to release the guilt of Jakob’s accusation that she was to blame for his accident.
While researching her school records for her book “Tell It All My Son,” under the pen name Michelle Santana, Isabella discovered that her third-grade teacher had asked her to complete some psychological sentences. One of them was, “If you had three wishes and they could all come true, what would they be?” Isabella’s response was, “A new bike, to fly on an airplane, and to receive $100.00.”
Two of those wishes were fulfilled during her childhood. Then, on September 9, 2016, 45 years after answering that question, her final wish was realized. Isabella found a round-trip airline ticket from Hartsville/Jackson Airport in Atlanta to Vancouver, British Columbia, for only $299, which delighted and surprised her.
Next, she looked up the finest hotel accommodations on Vancouver Island and discovered a charming Bed and Breakfast named Dashwood Manor. Isabella chose the Tudor Standard Queen Room and booked a two-week stay beginning on September 9, 2016.
This was to be Isabella’s first flight, and although she was anxious, she was resolute. Time flew, and before she knew it, the day had arrived for her to head to the Atlanta airport. Fortunately, a friend was able to give her a ride there.
The check-in lines were exceedingly long. She had to remove her boots, belt, and open her suitcase. Eventually, she made it through, looked up her gate number, and headed in that direction. Arriving thirty minutes early, she pulled a book from her carry-on and started to read. Time passed quickly, and soon they were calling First Class, Business, and finally Coach passengers.
Isabella boarded the plane, proceeding to the rear to find her seat. Fortunate to have a window seat, she located it with ease. Shortly after, the flight instructions were given, and the plane began to taxi onto the runway.
The pilot’s announcement came through, welcoming everyone aboard and signaling readiness for takeoff. Isabella’s excitement was palpable as the aircraft ascended. Turbulence, rather than frightening her, made the journey more thrilling, transforming a mundane flight into an adventure.
Before long, the intercom crackled to life, announcing their descent into Houston, Texas. Isabella faced a tight connection for her Vancouver flight, with just twenty minutes to disembark and navigate the expanse of the airport. In a stroke of luck, she made it just in time to board her connecting flight without delay.
The subsequent nine hours passed without incident, and Isabella felt a surge of relief when the announcement came that they would be landing at Vancouver International Airport in ten minutes. Gazing out the window at the vast Pacific Ocean, she experienced a mix of emotions. This trip was meant to reunite her with Jakob, but now he was no longer there. Mixed feelings of sorrow and anticipation filled her as she approached her destination.
Exiting the plane, Isabella joined the queue for customs. She was third in line. Ahead of her, a young man was asked to open his luggage. The officers meticulously inspected each item. When they came across his laptop, they requested he power it on and enter his password. As the officers scrutinized the contents of his computer, they directed him to step aside, relocating his possessions and laptop to a separate table.
The next individual was a young woman. The officers requested that she open her suitcases, which were numerous and disorganized. They inquired about her reason for being in Vancouver, Canada. She recounted a lengthy tale about meeting someone online and her plans to meet him in person.
“Lord, this is frightening!” Isabella, however, couldn’t grasp the source of her fear. “Perhaps it’s because this is unfamiliar to me, and I don’t want them rummaging through my belongings as they did with the first two people, treating them like criminals,” she pondered.
As Isabella stepped forward, she braced for complications, yet they simply let her pass after inquiring about her visit. “I’m here to celebrate the first anniversary of my divorce, and I wanted to take a solo trip,” she explained.
“And why choose this destination?” the officer questioned.
“I saw pictures of this place online and it looked stunning. I wanted to experience its beauty firsthand,” she replied.
The officer directed Isabella to the gate where additional officers were present. They posed the same questions to Isabella, and she provided them with the same responses she had given the previous officer.
The female officer asked, “Please present your hotel reservation for your stay and your return airline ticket to the US.”
Isabella produced the requested documents. “Here they are.”
“Who is Michelle Santana?”
“That’s the pen name I use as an author,” Isabella explained. Upon examining the documents, the officer smiled and welcomed her, “Enjoy your visit to Vancouver, Canada.”
“I am certain I will.”
How did they learn my author’s name? It wasn’t included in any of the requested documents. It seemed as though they recognized me. I wonder if it’s connected to Jakob being a retired officer. After all, I had informed them that I was seeking closure...
Isabella, relieved by the brief wait, hailed a taxi. As she arrived at Dashwood Manor Seaside Bed & Breakfast on Victoria Island, she was welcomed by a stunning view. The quaint two-story building, adorned in grey with white trim, beckoned invitingly. Ascending the steps, Isabella opened the door to the lobby.
“Hello, welcome to Dashwood Manor Seaside Bed and Breakfast.”
“Thank you, I’m both happy and relieved after that long flight. It was my first, actually.”
“I’m sure it was quite the experience for your first flight. Let’s proceed with your check-in and I’ll show you to your room.” After checking in, Isabella entered her second-floor room, charmed by the blue decor, her favorite color.
Collapsing onto the bed, she found it incredibly comfortable. The bedspread featured a blue, English-style pattern. Windows flanked the bed’s head and its right side, accompanied by two queen chairs adorned with blue stripes. The ocean was visible from the window. Nestled between the chairs was a charming table. Isabella rose and entered a luminous white bathroom, spacious with a deep, whirlpool-equipped bathtub.
Weary, Isabella switched on some tunes, settled into the bed, and quickly succumbed to a profound slumber. The comfort of the bed was unparalleled, unsurprisingly. When she awoke to the enveloping darkness, the thought of seeking food outside was unappealing.
She retrieved her suitcase, grateful for the foresight of packing snacks. Aware of the muffins and cookies available downstairs, she contemplated the chips and crackers in her stash before opting for the downstairs treats. “Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of this special journey. It brings me peace to have arrived here,” she reflected.
The following morning, after a restful sleep, she felt a mix of depression and happiness about being in Canada. She made her way downstairs for breakfast, finding the room with small tables empty as breakfast time neared its end. She ordered her favorites: eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns.
Later, Isabella chose to explore a park by the sea. With a jacket in hand, she left for Clover Point Park, guided by the walking option on her GPS. The park was easy to locate. She was greeted by breathtaking ocean views against the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains and admired the lighthouse, a structure she had always cherished.
On her return, she paused at the Pizzeria and approached the counter. “I’ll have a pepperoni pizza and a bottle of Blue Moon, please.” Once she placed her order, she located a table and eased into a seat, her legs and hips aching from the enjoyable walk.
As she sat, a wave of depression washed over her. It’s difficult to reconcile the joy of being here with the profound sadness felt simultaneously.
The pizza was surprisingly delicious, yet upon returning to her room, she wept for the life she had envisioned but would no longer have.
Isabella walked daily, often heading to Beacon Hill Park, where flowers burst with color and a pond lay cradled by weeping willows.
Holland Point Park was another favorite of Isabella’s, also located on the coast. Tucked away from the main road, the park stretches along the western shore of James Bay. Spotting a couple with their dog, Isabella felt a pang of longing for her own pet, Mary Jane, who she dearly missed.
Isabella’s dining experiences were memorable. At The Beagle Pub, she enjoyed a delectable steak, fries, and salad. The Tug Eatery’s burger left a lasting impression with its excellence. Café Brio was remarkable for its fine salmon and spaghettini. Lastly, the Blue Fox delighted her with a gourmet burger featuring mushrooms, paired with fries.
On the final day of her journey, Isabella opted for a taxi to Vancouver’s downtown. She took the transit train, eager to absorb as much of the city as possible in a single day. A lover of metropolitan areas, she sought to understand the environment where Jakob worked. Indeed, it was a splendid city.
Upon her return to the bed and breakfast inn, she acknowledged her readiness to go home. The anticipation of the airplane journey back filled her with a sense of longing.
Isabella’s solo travels bolstered her confidence and self-assurance. She faced her fears head-on, yet she knew it would require several sessions with Dr. Ray to fully release the guilt over Jakob’s accident, understanding it was not her fault.
Through drastic measures, Dr. Ray helped Isabella confront the anger she harbored towards Jakob for blaming her just before his death. Isabella had consistently made excuses for Jakob’s behavior, much like she had for Eddie. Releasing the deeply buried anger brought Isabella a sense of relief, and for this, she is eternally thankful to Dr. Ray.
