06/09/2026
Here are game 2’s write ups!
The MAU Patriots knocked off Bennington College 3–2 in one of the more entertaining Day 2 games of the tournament.
The younger MAU squad came ready to play, with Jack Sauer getting on the scoresheet and Bill adding another as the Patriots built their lead. Bennington College kept things close and pushed until the final whistle, but MAU managed to hang on for the upset.
The game wasn’t short on talking, either. The MAU players spent just as much energy trash-talking as they did running, and somehow still had enough left to win the game. To be fair, Bennington College wasn’t exactly taking the high road either, so it made for a lively matchup from start to finish.
The match was officiated by Jack Cavanaugh, whose performance could best be described as “controversial but enthusiastic.” There were a few calls that had players from both teams wondering what sport was being played, but nobody can say he lacked confidence. Every whistle was blown with absolute conviction, whether it was correct or not.
In the end, the MAU Patriots held on for a 3–2 victory over Bennington College. The win did absolutely nothing to reduce the amount of chirping, as several MAU players continued arguing calls with the referee even after the final whistle despite having already won the game.
Final Score: MAU Patriots 3–2 Bennington College.
The matchup between The Bevin Smidgen and Futbol is Life turned into one of the highest-scoring games of the tournament, with the Smidgen coming away with a 6–4 victory.
The scoring started in unusual fashion. Futbol is Life accidentally put one into their own net, reportedly after being overwhelmed by the sheer intimidation factor of David’s large muscles. Whether the goal will be officially credited to David’s physique remains under review.
The Bevin Smidgen kept rolling from there. Max Salvesvold found Evan Eggsware for the second goal, before Eggsware struck again off a Silas assist to make it 3–0. Silas then got one himself as the Smidgen raced out to a 4–0 lead.
Futbol is Life finally responded through Rob, who not only scored but also appeared noticeably more handsome than he did at last year’s tournament. Casey added another to cut the deficit to 4–2, but Zak answered for the Smidgen to restore a three-goal cushion.
Casey refused to let Futbol is Life go quietly, scoring again to make it 5–3. Max then added what proved to be a crucial insurance goal, extending the lead to 6–3. Casey completed his hat trick late in the game, but the comeback effort ran out of time.
Between Casey’s three-goal performance, Eggsware’s brace, and the ongoing debate over whether David’s muscles deserve an assist on the opening goal, there was plenty to talk about after the final whistle.
Final Score: The Bevin Smidgen 6–4 Futbol is Life
The matchup between Mandem FC and DHS ended in a 4–1 win for Mandem, though the game was tied at halftime and felt much closer early on.
Mandem opened the scoring through Slowy T, but DHS answered just before the break when Alex Salvesvold got on the end of a run and finished to make it 1–1 heading into halftime.
The second half was a different story. Mandem regained the lead through Slade before Tyler DeBoer added another. Will then put the game out of reach with a screamer that was probably still rising when it crossed the line.
A big difference in the match was the connection between Will Bond and Slowy T up front. Their movement caused problems all game and kept DHS defender Mat Kempf busy from start to finish.
Things didn’t help when rumors surfaced that DHS’s Joe Rad spent halftime watching a “How to Shoot” YouTube tutorial. DHS struggled to find any momentum after the break, and when they finally started pushing numbers forward late, Bill turned on his aimbot defense client for the final ten minutes. Every attack ended the same way: possession lost.
On the sideline, Kathy Slade remained DHS’s biggest supporter and was not particularly impressed with several of the referee’s decisions.
Final Score: Mandem FC 4–1 DHS
The game between DeRosia’s Delinquents and Whitman’s Revenge was one of the closest of the tournament, with DeRosia’s escaping with a 5–4 win after a back-and-forth battle.
Whitman’s got goals from Nate Potter, who scored twice, and Ryan Rogge, who added another as they kept pace throughout the match. Despite being down multiple times, Whitman’s never really went away and kept the pressure on until the final whistle.
A major reason the game stayed close was Ryan Rogge’s performance in goal. Armed with bright orange gardening gloves, he somehow managed to keep stopping shots and gave Whitman’s a chance right until the end.
Meanwhile, DeRosia’s Delinquents may have found a loophole in the tournament rules after reportedly importing a player from Serbia exclusively for this game. Whether that was technically allowed remains unclear, but it definitely seemed to help.
In the end, DeRosia’s survived the late push and moved on with a narrow victory.
Yes, the photo of Declan was taken at Willow Park. Yes, the grass really does look that good. No further questions.
Final Score: DeRosia’s Delinquents 5–4 Whitman’s Revenge
