09/03/2026
Gather ’round, Brothers, for today we celebrate the birth of a man whose story has been passed down through the hills for generations…
Mad Eye.
Legend says he was not born in the traditional sense.
He simply appeared one morning in the Appalachian Mountains, sitting on a Harley, holding a cigarette, and shotgunning a beer.
As a boy, Mad Eye showed extraordinary promise. While other children were learning to ride bicycles, he was studying the ancient arts of poor decisions, questionable mechanical repairs, and making a perfectly normal situation significantly more dangerous.
By adulthood, the transformation was complete.
He became a motorcycle riding mountain mystic. A businessman. A philosopher. A man capable of sitting cross legged on a rock like a Buddhist monk who had recently been banned from three Applebee’s.
Some say he can predict the weather by the ache in his joints.
Others claim he once stared directly into the sun until the sun apologized.
He has traveled countless miles on two wheels, occasionally even with air inside both tires.
His natural habitat consists primarily of clubhouses, motorcycles, back roads, parking lots, campgrounds, and anywhere someone has recently said:
“There is absolutely no way this ends well.”
Yet beneath the chaos lies a Brother who will ride beside you, laugh with you, help you when you need it, and somehow turn an ordinary weekend into a story that requires three witnesses and a sworn affidavit before anyone will believe it.
Historians still debate exactly how old Mad Eye is.
Carbon dating proved inconclusive.
Tree ring analysis only angered him.
And the Vatican has asked that we stop sending samples.
So today, we celebrate not merely another trip around the sun…
…but another year that the sun has successfully made it around Mad Eye.
May your beer stay cold.
May your motorcycle stay upright.
May your rear tire rest peacefully in Valhalla.
And may whatever guardian angel drew your assignment continue receiving hazard pay and unlimited overtime.
Happy Birthday to our Brother, our Friend, and one of Appalachia’s least explainable natural phenomena…
MAD EYE.
🍻🤘
Long may he ride.
God help the rest of us. 😂
