05/27/2026
Today I felt heavyweight all in my heart.
I went to work and started my day off kinda blamed the way I felt on the fact that it was a long weekend.
Today felt like a blur so many things happened and my mind was on survival mode. It frustrated me and I felt like my anxiety was at an uncomfortable level.
When I came home I told my husband “I don’t know but I need like today is a day I need to remember!”
He didn’t say nothing and I thought I was overthinking like always. Maybe I’m just really tired!?
No I don’t know why I was sitting in my closet like I normally do when I’m overwhelmed and I felt like I needed to look thru Alicia’s funeral box.
Then I saw her funeral paper where is says,
“Funeral services :
May 26, 2023 @10 am “
Today was the day my daughter’s body was buried in the dirt. The day I had to say goodbye forever. The first day she had to stay overnight somewhere she has never been before. The first night I felt like she was so far away. The day I started losing my memory.
Today 3 years ago we said our last goodbyes and I yelled and I cried for her.
My grief I carry it with me. My body is finally realizing all these moments in life. My body is getting its memories back and it’s overwhelming but also relieving.
I’ve been so distant this year that it feels so good!
But God has a way to show up when I least expect it. Sadness and grief can be normal for me for the past 3 years but being able to remember something is truly a miracle that I thought I was never going to get!
Tho I cry my heart out for my baby I thank God for everything in my life!