07/05/2026
We’ve just returned home from Rwanda and thought I’d share a few thoughts. I hope you find this helpful.
What Not to Say to Someone Returning from a Mission Trip
“How was your vacation?”
A mission trip is not a vacation.
Yes, we may travel to another country, but mission trips involve long travel days, unfamiliar cultures and climates, physically and emotionally demanding ministry, and schedules that leave little room for rest. More importantly, they are an answer to God’s call to go. He often allows us to be stretched beyond our comfort so we learn to depend completely on Him.
It is one of the most rewarding experiences imaginable—but it is definitely not a vacation.
“Why have you gone silent on social media?”
Many mission days begin early and end late.
Sometimes we travel for hours just to reach a ministry site. We spend the day serving, building relationships, praying, encouraging, and simply being present with the people God has placed before us. Evenings often include dinner, team debriefs, worship, planning for the next day, and finally a shower before falling into bed exhausted.
Many of us intentionally choose to be fully present rather than documenting every moment online.
“Wouldn’t it have been better to just send the money instead of spending so much to go?”
Financial support is incredibly important—and we couldn’t go without people who generously give.
But God isn’t limited by resources; He invites His people to be obedient. Sometimes He calls people to give. Sometimes He calls people to go.
When God sends someone, He is sending more than financial help. He is sending relationships, encouragement, compassion, prayer, hope, truth, and the presence of Christ through the Holy Spirit. Those are gifts money alone cannot provide.
“Who’s taking care of your kids while you’re off having fun?”
For parents, leaving home is one of the hardest parts of serving on a mission trip.
When God clearly opens a door and says, “Go,” we have a choice to trust Him. It is a sacrifice—for us and for our families—but it can also become a powerful testimony. Our children see what it looks like to obey God’s leading, even when it costs something.
One of the greatest ways to support a missionary is by caring for the family members who remain at home.
“You’ve been so many times. Traveling must be easy for you now.”
Not exactly.
Experience may help us know what to expect, but it doesn’t eliminate the physical toll. Jet lag is real, and recovering takes time. A common rule of thumb is about one day of recovery for every hour of time zone difference. Traveling between California and Rwanda means about a nine-hour time difference, so it can take over a week before your body feels normal again.
Here’s What To Say Instead
“Welcome home.” Those two words mean more than you know.
“Tell me one story from your trip.” If you’re short on time, this invites someone to share one meaningful moment without feeling overwhelmed.
“What was one thing God taught you while you were away?” Often, the greatest work God did happened in the heart of the missionary.
“I’d love to get coffee sometime and see your pictures and hear your stories.” If you’re genuinely interested, this gives them the opportunity to share when they’re rested and have time to process everything.
If You Have Someone on a Mission Trip…
If they haven’t posted on social media or replied to your messages, don’t assume something is wrong.
They’re probably serving long days and trying to be fully present where God has called them. A simple text saying, “Just checking in. Thinking of you and praying for you!” is enough.
And remember what many parents learn when their child goes away to camp: No news is usually good news. If there were an emergency, you would almost certainly be notified.
Mission trips aren’t vacations. They’re an opportunity to join God in what He’s already doing—and when someone returns home, one of the greatest gifts you can give them is simply listening.
And a special thank you to everyone who served with us this summer—your willingness to go, give, pray, and serve made a lasting impact, and we are deeply grateful.
