08/28/2013
The River of Life
The road was very rough as we neared the end of the trail but Josh’s Jeep was handling the rocks fine. Josh maneuvered around the boulders showing the skill he had developed over many trails doing searches for lost or injured hikers. Today was not a search or rescue mission, we were following a road to its end and became no more than a trail.
Josh pulled the Jeep off to the side, turned off the engine, slid it in gear and locked the emergency brake. Stashing the keys in the console Josh stated, “Won’t need these anymore.” We all climbed out and gathered things we needed for the hike.
The weather was very non-descript; not hot, not cold, not stormy. I don’t remember seeing the sun either. It was a lovely day to follow a trail. The trail went on for hours before reaching any water but this water was unusual. This river was frozen over and covered with a layer of snow. Curious, it didn’t make any sense. We are in jeans and T-shirts but the river is frozen. Beth walked on the river without a problem and I followed. Unfortunately my foot found the weak spot and broke through the ice. Startled I lost my balance and sat down in the snow. I was quite a sight with one foot out and one foot under the ice.
Josh reached down and helped me up. My foot was wet but not cold, “strange” I thought but said nothing. We continued with the Beth in front then Josh with Chris taking up the rear. It was now that I sensed there were people ahead of us but never saw them, I just knew they were there. It wasn’t very much further before we reached an impasse. It was a solid rock face, camouflaged with foliage making it appear to be a green wall except for one hole. The hole was about 3 ft off the ground, large enough to climb through but not with a backpack on.
The trail seemed to be leading through this opening in the wall. Beth took off her pack without hesitation. Reaching through the opening she set it on the other side. Now It was my turn but I realized I didn’t have a back pack. I wasn’t prepared to continue. I needed to go back home and pack for the balance of this hike. Josh and Chris agreed.
They passed me and approached the wall, slid their packs off and lifted them through the opening. I wanted very much to go with them. Why hadn’t I packed a backpack? I didn’t know I needed to; it was as if they had received the email and I had not, but deep inside it was okay, I could recoup and rejoin them later.
My alarm startled me from a deep sleep. Wait, where are the kids? I need to join them, I need to pack, what am I doing sleeping? I wiped the sleep from my eyes and realized I had been dreaming. The kids weren’t here, I wasn’t there. Snuggling back under the warm covers I recounted my dream loving that I had just hung out with Josh, Beth and Chris, even if it was only in a dream. After a while I reluctantly crawled out from beneath the blankets but I chewed on my dream all day long attempting to put the pieces together. I wanted to know the meaning.
I knew the road we drove was life. The trail was life as it narrowed down to the nitty gritty. The opening was the narrow gate into heaven and eternity. Those were easy but what was the river? I now understood why they were ready and I was not; it was their time, not mine. Internally they heard God calling their names.
As a parent it is an awful thing to wrap a mind around, kids dying before us but God is not restrained by time. He knows the past, present, and future right now. For God foreknowledge doesn’t means causal. He knows because he has already seen it so nothing takes him by surprise. This is one of those “Questions I want to ask God” when I get there.
The following morning I am drawn to the sun shining on the deck chairs. Grabbing my tea and bible I settle in beside the water fountain for my “Face Time” with God. The morning sun feels good on my face. “In heaven there is no need for Sun or moon for God provides light.” Runs through my head, “Where that in the Bible?”. I begin to thumb through Revelation and stop at Chapter 21. My eyes land on verse 23 “The city does not need the sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light and the Lamb is its lamp.” Yes, maybe this is why I love having the sun shine on my face, I feel God, and he is shining on me.
I read further and into chapter 23 “Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city.”
That’s it, that is the river I fell into. It is the river of life, it was flowing out from the throne of God but just like Narnia this side of the wall is under a curse. All is frozen including, the surface of the river but the river is crystal clear, and warm. I had broken through the ice of the curse and stepped into the river of life!
It was in my sorrow over the death of Josh, Beth and Chris which gave me a deeper connection with God and eternity, the river of life.
Now that I have stepped into the river of life I can’t go back to life as it was. Life is different now. Now I know, deep inside kind of knowing, the assurance of eternal life. I have begun to grasp the depth, height, width, and length of God’s love and commitment to me – faith. For me Faith became not how committed I am to God or what do I believe he can do for me it. No, it was when I grasped the depth of His love and commitment to me that I took hold of real faith.
My three kids have gone before me but they are just on the other side. Someday I will be there but for now God has things for me to do here. Someday I will get the message, I will hear His voice calling my name and I will lift my backpack through the opening in the wall and step into the other side where, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Amen and Amen
