08/23/2026
Our hospice team said, "We see people die how they lived," and that was our experience.
We lost Jay yesterday, 8.21.26.
The days leading up to his death were some of the most beautiful, profound days, filled with love and lots of laughs. He remained in control until truly the end, just like he liked it. He will be so missed.
He gave me so many gifts—most of all our girls, who have so much of him in their personalities and spirit. Lo has his energy, mechanical brain (AKA can fix anything), and moxie. Peyton has his creative side, sense of humor, and adventurous spirit.
Jay and I sat together at the end like husband and wife and parents who were beyond proud of the life and love we shared. He fought this disease and accomplished so much; led by example, made us all laugh and cry, all while dealing with the s**t hand he was dealt.
A final story: He had been working with Adam on some plans and told him, "Don’t say I died peacefully surrounded by loved ones" (even though that’s exactly true). Instead, say, "He left this world surrounded by explosions and gunfire while listening to DMX at full blast, like the bad ass he was."
Adam told us this right when the funeral home was preparing to take him, and I saw that little twinkle in Peyton’s eye. She asked, "What song?" Next thing you know, she puts "Ruff Ryders' Anthem" on in his room. So, yes, when I gave him his final kiss, the gunfire in the song went off and he left us with DMX playing full blast. Like I said, Jay remained Jay till the end.
Thank you all for supporting our family throughout the years; you are all so appreciated. We were surrounded by such generosity, kindness, and love throughout this 13/14-year journey. This would have looked so different without that support. We were blessed with great friends, great families, and unmatched support.
Thanks to Barb and Gene and their fundraisers and support throughout this journey; this would have looked very different without that support. To our families who went over and above, always—thank you. To our communities who shuttled to dance, picked up from school when we couldn’t—thank you. To his care team who stayed with us till the end we are beyond grateful and thankful.
We will be having a celebration of life at a later date to honor Jay and his beautiful life; details to follow.
In lieu of flowers, and if so compelled, donate to every90minutes.org
-Love Missy
