When Love Takes You In

When Love Takes You In Of the 400k children in foster care, approximately 120k are waiting to be adopted. Isaiah 1:17 Take up the cause of the fatherless…

Use consistently – try to stay on this level 80 percent of the time. Playful Engagement educes misbehavior dramatically ...
02/03/2022

Use consistently – try to stay on this level 80 percent of the time. Playful Engagement educes misbehavior dramatically over time because it strengthens the relationship between children and caregivers.

Playful Engagement (Level 1)Redirect children without breaking stride E.g., “Would you like to try it again with respect...
02/01/2022

Playful Engagement (Level 1)

Redirect children without breaking stride E.g., “Would you like to try it again with respect?” or “Are you askin’ or tellin’?” in a playful voice and tone. In this way, you are teaching the child to use their ‘words’ with a safe adult who can meet their needs – returning the ‘voice’ they lost through their history of harm.

Rocking and holding young children activates the vestibular and proprioceptive senses and helps them to “find” their bod...
01/12/2022

Rocking and holding young children activates the vestibular and proprioceptive senses and helps them to “find” their body and its place in space. These experiences help a child to process and organize information. Vestibular deficits are strongly correlated with insecure attachment in children.

For older children, who may not want to be rocked or held, there are other ways to help them reorganize and heal the brain through appropriate vestibular and proprioceptive activation, such as jumping and swinging or the use of weighted blankets. For children of all ages, helping them to utilize appropriate environmental stimulation to meet their needs aids in developing crucial skills and even encourages healthy attachment. However, it is also important to read body cues, as too much stimulation can be counterproductive, resulting in overwhelm and emotional dysregulation.
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Healthy relationships require trust and safety. If an environment of safety is created in early life, it creates an envi...
01/11/2022

Healthy relationships require trust and safety. If an environment of safety is created in early life, it creates an environment from which it is safe to explore and return. When caring for children from hard places, building that trust and safety will give your child the opportunity to work through sensory insecurities and try new things. Whether the problem is withdrawing from or over seeking sensory input, a secure place and trusting relationship will encourage a child to explore and return more freely, in order to meet their sensory needs. In research, healthy attachments are proven to correlate with improved sensory processing.

Every child’s story is different, but there are often common themes. For instance, for children who experienced neglect ...
01/10/2022

Every child’s story is different, but there are often common themes. For instance, for children who experienced neglect growing up, their need for sensory stimulation was unmet, resulting in a deficiency that did not allow the brain to develop optimally. As a result, these children often seek sensory stimulation. In contrast, children who experienced physical abuse associate touch with a negative and often become sensory avoidant or avoidant to specific types of sensory input. Children who were hospitalized early in their life may also become sensory avoidant because of the overstimulation related to their treatment.

Of the 400k children in foster care, approximately 120k are waiting to be adopted. Isaiah 1:17 Take up the cause of the ...
01/05/2022

Of the 400k children in foster care, approximately 120k are waiting to be adopted. Isaiah 1:17 Take up the cause of the fatherless…

The Empowering Principal focuses on meeting the child’s basic needs for food and hydration, as well as meeting their sen...
01/03/2022

The Empowering Principal focuses on meeting the child’s basic needs for food and hydration, as well as meeting their sensory needs, to help the child regulate and to create an ideal environment for connecting and learning. The Empowering Principal also asserts that daily routines, rituals, and preparation for transitions are important to a child’s overall ability to regulate, as well as to build trust and connection with their caregiver.

The Connecting Principal asserts that the caregiver must first be mindful about themselves and what they bring to the in...
12/31/2021

The Connecting Principal asserts that the caregiver must first be mindful about themselves and what they bring to the interactions with their child. Any unresolved issues or triggers the caregiver might have could get in the way of them connecting with their child. Engagement strategies like nurturing touch, voice quality, and warm eyes allow the caregiver to connect with their child and build trust in an easy and casual way. The Connecting Principle also teaches the caregiver how to share power with the child, so that the child feels that they have a voice in the relationship. This could be in the form of finding ways to say “yes” to their child, giving their child a choice or a compromise, or teaching the child life value terms that help them practice social skills.

Children impacted by trauma and those with attachment disorders can heal. Parents, who are supported and taught therapeu...
12/30/2021

Children impacted by trauma and those with attachment disorders can heal. Parents, who are supported and taught therapeutic parenting, are the best healing agents of their traumatized children.

As van der Kolk notes, trauma is specifically an event that overwhelms the central nervous system, altering the way we p...
12/29/2021

As van der Kolk notes, trauma is specifically an event that overwhelms the central nervous system, altering the way we process and recall memories. “Trauma is not the story of something that happened back then," he adds. "It's the current imprint of that pain, horror, and fear living inside people.”

The gift to speak and to be heard is the birthright of every child. Biology prepares parents to give this gift and prepa...
12/27/2021

The gift to speak and to be heard is the birthright of every child. Biology prepares parents to give this gift and prepares children to receive it. Tragically, too many children do not come from homes or situations in which the adults are able to love them and give them voice. Because of their histories, these children and youth must be taught they have a powerful gift – a voice – and that they also have caregivers who want to listen and understand their words and their needs. Purposeful, deliberate parents and caregivers can restore this lost gift of voice and, in so doing, begin to provide connection, trust, hope, and healing for these children who have come from difficult places.

Using “Magic Feathers”: In the classic childhood tale, the little elephant Dumbo didn’t believe he could fly until he wa...
12/23/2021

Using “Magic Feathers”: In the classic childhood tale, the little elephant Dumbo didn’t believe he could fly until he was given a “magic feather” that empowered him to believe in himself and try. For many children, a “magic feather” is a similar tool that gives them courage to try to speak. For example, one child who witnessed his sister’s murder by their mother lost his voice and was unable to talk about the trauma. In our summer camp, he was given a walkie-talkie and was allowed to hide in a tent or behind a tree and tell his story to an adult listening on the other walkie-talkie. As he gained courage, he was able to share his story freely – and his healing could begin. -- National Council For Adoption

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