City Of Augusta KS

City Of Augusta KS City of Augusta Fanpage. Daily updates and important info on your favorite city.

02/27/2023

We have begun microdosing tornadoes so that we can slowly begin to build a tolerance to larger, more dangerous tornadoes. We apologize for the lack of announcement, and to any houses, trees, cows, YMCA’s, or family pets that may be damaged by this. This is one of the many things we the City are doing to keep you safe. Your tax dollars, hard at work.

Also, announcement: After 6 months of scratching their heads, our tornado siren engineers have finally concluded that the sirens do work. They acted very surprised. More investigation into this matter may be required.

Thanks for your attention. Tune in next week for when we start microdosing pharmaceutical grade L*D.

01/24/2023

This page always has been and always will be a satire page. But we’re going to break character for a minute here. We’ve taken down the K-9 post on account of so many people yelling that the officer needs to be unalived. The aim of yesterday’s post was using satire to call attention to the messed up system we use judicially and in a law enforcement capacity. By no means were we advocating death threats to the officer in question. We might get some hate for this but we don’t care. This post got shared far and wide with many people from different states suggesting some very nasty, violent things. Should the officer have received a K9? Probably not. Should he have lost his job and been charged with a crime? Probably so. But that was the whole point - calling out the entire Sheriff’s Dept, not him alone. His actions were justified by his work environment. We realize that we are also to blame for yesterday - we could have just not posted it or taken it down earlier. Sometimes it takes awhile for people to realize what they’ve done wrong. But to the folks who made these threats or judgements: You are what’s wrong with this country. We’ll never figure out our issues if we just turn into a mob every time someone does something wrong. Let Ezra work out his sins with his own creator, we all have ours to work out as well.

Good morning to everyone except the people driving these. Stay safe out there!
12/22/2022

Good morning to everyone except the people driving these. Stay safe out there!

12/22/2022

**Reminder - Holiday Garbage Collection Schedule Change**
Friday's route will be picked up Tuesday, Dec. 27
Monday's route will be picked up Thursday, Dec. 22
Tuesday's route will be picked up Monday, Dec. 26

Mr. Hartman, we apologize that you feel like we were profiling you. We were. Since you’ve called us out, we’ve had some ...
12/21/2022

Mr. Hartman, we apologize that you feel like we were profiling you. We were. Since you’ve called us out, we’ve had some discussions with the postmaster on the matter and have decided that you will be exempt from moving your mailbox to the curb. Unfortunately, everyone else MUST move their mailboxes.

We’ve also reached out to Joe Biden about this and he feels for all affected by this change. In return for the inconvenience, everyone who moves their mailbox to the curb can send a picture of it to Joe Biden’s page in exchange for free BidenBux™

These can be exchanged for a free water at your local McDonald’s. Just tell the drive-thru employee, I’m here for the BidenWater™

12/18/2022

We are receiving lots of reports and complaints about loud booms being heard across town today. Please disregard these, we are conducting underground nuclear tests. They are safe as long as you do not live underground.

Don’t forget tomorrow is Grab A 5 Gallon Bucket & Throw It In The Lake Day!Due to the holiday, we will be taking the res...
11/01/2022

Don’t forget tomorrow is Grab A 5 Gallon Bucket & Throw It In The Lake Day!

Due to the holiday, we will be taking the rest of the week off, paid. Just a nice way to congratulate ourselves for all the hard work we’ve put into this holiday. Please do not call us with updates on power outages during this time.

Happy Halloween! Don’t forget to send us photos of you dumping a bucket into the lake!

The results are in. Prepare yourselves, City of Wichita- GovernmentWe are discussing amongst ourselves if we will formal...
10/27/2022

The results are in. Prepare yourselves, City of Wichita- Government

We are discussing amongst ourselves if we will formally declare war, or launch a surprise invasion. We do know that the spoils of war will be divided evenly amongst the towns of Butler County (except El Dorado).

Conscription letters are being drafted now. Stay tuned for more updates.

10/25/2022

We know there have been conflicting reports on the status of North Ohio. We hear your frustration. Your patience on this matter is appreciated while we try to locate the culprit spreading false information. As of now there are still no official plans to finish the road.

Due to the severe drought that Kansas and a good chunk of the world has dealt with this year, our lake is drying up. Tha...
10/23/2022

Due to the severe drought that Kansas and a good chunk of the world has dealt with this year, our lake is drying up. That’s why we’d like to introduce a new city-wide holiday. We’re calling it: Grab a 5 Gallon Bucket of Water & Throw It Into The Lake Day

If everyone dumped 5 gallons of water into the lake on one day, we could raise the lake levels by approximately 1 inch. It’s our duty as Americans to resist all forms of tyranny, and that includes drought.

Grab A 5 Gallon Bucket of Water & Throw It Into The Lake Day will take place every November 1st, annually. Participation is not optional.

Great news, citizens! We as a city have qualified for the new Covid assistance package in the newest federal grant from ...
10/22/2022

Great news, citizens! We as a city have qualified for the new Covid assistance package in the newest federal grant from congress! They have awarded us $1.2 Million in federal aid. To show our appreciation, we will be re-naming E. 100th (commonly known as Old 54) to the Joseph R. Biden Freeway! The name change will take effect in November of this year, and will span from the intersection at Custer Ln to Boyer Rd. The new signs are being printed now. More updates on this to come! Have a safe weekend, everyone!

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113 E. 6th
Augusta, KS
67010

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