08/05/2021
You can trust God, but can God trust you?
I was sitting in my laundry room floor frustrated that the next day I would likely have to pull my kids out of private Christian school and put them in public school. As a single mom of five, I had gone back to work to make ends meet and could no longer homeschool, but didn't really feel a peace about putting the the younger ones in the public system.
I had just returned home from church, where the final offering was taken up for our Easter pledge, which I had committed myself to months earlier. I was feeling guilty that I'd been unable to come up with the extra money to pay it. I had that sinking feeling again that I would never get out of this season of lack. While my kids watched TV downstairs, I folded clothes and cried out to God to please show me an answer for how to take care of these two obligations, both of which were $600 each. It seems kind of trivial now looking back, that so little money had such a large effect on my emotions that day. After praying I thought to myself "I haven't checked the mail from yesterday." Excited that there was possibly an unexpected blessing in the mailbox, I quickly went outside to gather it. Unfortunately, there were only two letters. One was a past due notice from the school showing a 60-day late $600 balance and the other was a reminder from my church that today was the final opportunity to pay my $600 pledge. Irritated, I questioned God...I already feel bad enough, why rub it in?
My hope sank into despair once again and I returned to my laundry room to cry. As I prayed again, I asked God for just a little sign that my faithfulness in tithing was not in vain and that he had not forgotten me. I asked him to search my heart for anything that was blocking his blessing. Moments later my doorbell rang and I looked out the upstairs window to see four teenagers from our youth group on my front porch. I yelled down to my 15-year-old to answer the door, but he had headphones on and didn't hear me. I stopped what I was doing and went downstairs to answer it, mumbling the whole way that everything is up to me to take care of!
I invited the kids inside, assuming they came to see my children and they asked me to step outside because they had come to talk to me instead. I immediately wondered which one of my kids had done something that they needed to address with me, already feeling the weight of yet another thing I didn't feel equipped to handle that spring afternoon.
"Someone told us to give you this" they said, handing me an envelope. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Just open it", one of them said. As I pulled out the folded notebook paper from within, I could tell there was something thick inside it. I opened it up to see six $100 bills and a simple handwritten note that said "The Lord told me to give you this."
I was speechless, which doesn't happen that often. I looked at the kids and asked "Who gave you this?" They told me they were sworn to secrecy. To this day I still do not know who became my angel that day, but I know that it was an immediate sign from God that I could trust him and he knew where I was at. Little did I know at the time that the question before me was, could he trust me?
I thanked the kids and invited them to come inside again, they declined and told me to have a blessed day. As they drove away I stood motionless in my yard, still dumbfounded that someone had given me $600! Many times I had been that anonymous conduit of God's serendipity to someone else, but never had I been on the receiving end like this! I walked in my living room, shut off the TV and gathered my children around in a circle. I tossed the money down in the floor and said "Look what God has done! He has paid your tuition!" They were well aware that the next day the three of them who attended private school would likely be asked to withdraw for non-payment. I picked up the money and gave each of them $100 bill and kept one for myself. We held hands and prayed over that money, thanking God for the person who was obedient to answer his prompt and bless us. While praying, I felt an immediate unction in my heart that I could not use it to pay their school. After I said Amen, I looked at the kids with tears in my eyes and said "I'm sorry, I can't pay your tuition with this tomorrow. I made a pledge at church a few months ago that I've been unable to honor and God needs to see that he can trust me as much as I trust him. They looked at me bewildered and two of them questioned my thought process, but I assured them just as God had come through with this, he would come through again.
The next morning I dropped them off at school, making sure to not have eye contact with the headmaster and thereby delay a conversation about the payment that I had been avoiding. I drove straight to the church, went to my executive pastor's office and told him the story. I gave him the cash, along with the pledge reminder that I had received in the mail, and told him I wanted to take care of it in full. He was astonished, given the circumstances, but assured me that God would honor my obedience. We prayed together and I left the church feeling that I had done the right thing and the rest was up to God.
On my way back home, I got a phone call from the financial office at the school. I had been expecting it, and the subsequent conversation that took place. "Can you come by the school and meet with me sometime today?" she asked. "Yes ma'am, I'm actually available now, so I'll see you soon." Somehow I did not have a sense of dread as I walked down the hallway to her office. I was at peace that God was taking care of things behind the scenes, whatever that looked like. When I sat down, I apologized for my delinquent account and told her that I understood I would have to withdraw the children. She peered down over her glasses and responded "Oh, that's not what I wanted to meet with you about." Shifting some papers on her desk she said, "This almost never happens, but... a family who had a scholarship moved out of state over Christmas break and their three kids are no longer using the funds, so I wondered if you wanted it for your children?" My head begin to spin... Scholarship money? For private school? Why did I not know about this sooner? As a single mom that would have been a blessing months earlier when I was struggling paycheck to paycheck to keep them enrolled. She explained that the alumni money has to be used in full each year, or they will not continue to receive the grant the next year. As my mind drifted and I became overcome with emotion I could hear her in the distance saying ... "So I was thinking we could apply the unused portion from January til now to satisfy your past due account and then your tuition would be taken care of for the rest of the year as well... are you okay with that?" My thoughts came back to the moment and I stammered.. "Yes, yes, of course, of course!" Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I realized that God had not only taken care of my past due balance, but given me the double portion of satisfying their tuition for the rest of the year! As I leaned forward and signed the paperwork accepting the funds, I couldn't help but tell the administrator what had just happened.
I left her office that day with such an overwhelming sense of joy and peace. I learned that it is God's good pleasure to take care of me financially and show me that he is trustworthy, if I can be trusted with money first. It was the beginning of a journey with the kingdom that proved Matthew 6:33 over and over. Show God that he can trust you with the keys to His kingdom and he will unlock doors that you never imagined could be opened!
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