07/18/2024
šš¾AGAPE LOVEšš¾
A few years ago, I received a prophetic word from multiple prophets stating that āGod is getting ready to soften your heartā. I was angry because NOāš¾I love too hard, my love is very pure so making my heart softer was like cursing me. It felt like they were saying āGod is getting ready to weaken youā. I can honestly say I did not receive it, I fought it! Iāve worked years to build up my āhardā exterior to protect my tender heart and you telling me itās gonna get softer?! If Iām completely honest, behind that anger and frustration I was terrified and afraid of being hurt. Iād already endured so much, but nonetheless, SURRENDERš
In the last few years, that prophetic word has rang TRUER THAN TRUE! God has softened my heart. Iām way more forgiving. My patience has grown beyond what I ever thought Iād have capacity for. My tolerance level has expanded. My level of understanding and wisdom has expounded far beyond my belief. Iām a lot calmer and quieter, and show more grace, mercy, forgiveness and LOVE than what I thought I humanly could.
Everytime a glimpse of the old Z tries to rear her head, God softens my heart to another level. Everytime I think Iām ādone doneā with people or a situation, God softens my heart. He gently reminds me, āThis is my doing. Iām teaching you to love like I loveā. I get so angry yallš because Unt Unt I look stupid and feel weak! I told the Lord āthis not me!ā He said, āExactly!ā Iāve cried and said āBut itās not fairā or āTHEY wrongā and He tells me āPray, have patienceā. I complain āBut what if itās all for nothing?ā He reminded me āYou gave me a yes. You offered yourself as a willing vessel.ā Again, Yes Lord.
Iām learning sometimes God will soften you to learn to love like Him, and love people like He loves them, and sometimes at NO benefit to you. ā4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.ā (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) And Love, is availing yourself, running the risk of having to die to YOU so others can live in HIM, and Itās all for Gods gloryā¦OUCH!
This is one of the hardest lessons Iāve had to learn, truly. It feels like strength is being stripped from me but all the while itās building me. Itās teaching me to be for others what they donāt have the capacity to be for me. It sucks and itās ghetto, if you ask me lol. The Lord said āZonya, Iām going to use you in people lives to love them even when it hurts you because Iām teaching them what Agape love truly is and what it looks like. You will sow love into places and people and never reap a harvest from them. But your reward is in Meā. Hard pill to swallow, but nonetheless, I said Yes Lordš¢
These last 5 years of my life have pushed my heart and stretched it thin, so it seems. Iāve been tested in every single facet you can imagine to continue to emulate Agape love. Iāve been pushed, literallyš¤, provoked to anger, apologized when I wasnāt wrong, overlooked faults, laid in the trenches with enemies, speaking highly of people who tarnished my name, accused and slandered, betrayed, lost friends and loved ones, endured ridicule from those closest to me, walked people through healing only for them to dishonor me and act as if I donāt exist, Iāve seriously watched people play in my face, holding secrets, covering while being exposed, carrying while being dropped, cried more tears than the oceans and seas combined, Iāve suffered! Iāve witnessed a slow excruciating death to Zonya and how sheās shaped her heart due to bearing so much pain. And just when I thought āLord, my heart canāt take anymoreā, another level of brokenness, but yet, LOVE! It has been the most painfully humbling experiences I have ever endured.
I want to encourage some of you who may find yourselves in the same time of breaking and testing. Keep LOVING! When it hurts, LOVE! When itās not reciprocated, LOVE! When it breaks you, LOVE! When you appear weak, LOVE! Be gracious. Be kind. Be merciful. Be understanding. Be meek and lowly. However, not without wisdom!
LOVE, people of God! This is what we are lacking. True AGAPE LOVEā„ļø