22/03/2022
English version 🇬🇧
You know, friends, I can't find the strength to write every day and tell what's happening in Odessa. We try to find the strength to do the minimum - help people who need it, do domestic chores and I also try to work. And then there's no strength left to do anything else. You know, when you work and the week is hard, you wait for the weekend to have some rest finally. And I must tell you that in war there are no weekends. There are no days of the week. There are just the days of war. I wonder every day what day is it? To understand it I have to see the calendar. But the only thing I know is that today is the 26th day of the nightmare we live in. And I want to tell you that all Ukrainians even if they are in a safe place, we are like a body. If there is a problem in one limb of the body, the whole body feels it and suffers. Even if in Odessa where we live there are no Russian tanks yet, we still can't live our normal life. Since February 24 at 5 a.m. our lives have stopped...
Today, the 21 of March, there were still air alerts in the night, in the morning, in the day and in the evening and they lasted for a long time. Every time we hold our breath waiting for the hell is going to happen in Odessa today. We can clearly see the destiny of Kyiv, Kharkiv, Mariupol, Chernigiv and other cities. This morning some houses on the coast were destroyed by Russian bombs coming from the sea. I must admit that now I appreciate much more the very simple things that we have in our everyday life... every day can be the last...you never know. That's why I try to do important things, things that I would like to do understanding that life is really short... you have to live each day as if it were the last day of your life. On Saturday, the 19th of March we went to see an old lady to take her some products...after that we went to a hypermarket and we bought a lot of things necessary for our territorial defense. We took it all away in a taxi and returned home tired but happy. Lately I like to prepare something tasty for us and admire this moment together with my darling. It seems to me that the meal is one of the greatest pleasures that remain to us from our normal life. Today there have no more theatres, cinemas, museums, concerts, gyms, restaurants, walks by the sea (the beaches are mined). Sometimes you can go out for a walk in the sun, but the city's protections (blockposts, hedgehogs, etc.) quickly throw you back into the new reality - wartime. When you see the cities that are suffering the most and you understand that you can't do anything for those people who don't have food, water, heating, houses, who are trying to escape from this hell, nor for these animals left and betrayed by people... every day this pain becomes stronger and stronger... But we try to do what we can. Today we transferred money to "the 12-month" zoo in Kyiv, the animals have no food...A few days ago we bought ten tickets to the Mykolaiv zoo, because the animals were dying of hungry... Yesterday, we went for a walk and I saw flowers... those who know me, know that I adore flowers! And in my normal life I buy a bouquet of flowers once a week. And since the beginning of the war I had this feeling of guilt to want flowers when other Ukrainians hide all the time in the shelters and have nothing to eat... And yesterday I understood for myself that my desire is absolutely normal, I try to have at least something that will remind me of my life before to calm my mind a little bit. In order to be able to help other people, I need to fill my resources to be able to share with others. Otherwise I won't have the strength to help others. Everyone does as much as they can and I can't accuse of doing or not doing anything. And finally we bought a nice little bouquet of freesias with a very fine smell that makes me want to live and bring something good to others every day of my life.