29/07/2026
Assalam O Alaikum DHA Folks
This is an early-twenties female. I want to talk about my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been in a relationship for 2 years and have been friends for 6 years(we didn't met in these years not even a single call we did, we starting meeting in person around 11 months pehly se). We literally have an unbreakable bond. He loves me a lot like "he will kiss the ground I walk on" wala pyar hai.
But you know what the issue is? I belong to an upper-middle-class family, and he belongs to a lower-middle-class family. In the beginning, this wasn't a problem for me. But when we started meeting in person, reality hit me that love isn't everything.
He is just completing his 2nd-year papers. By now, he should have been in university. My bachelor's has already been completed, while he is still trying to clear his intermediate exams and that too because I asked him to. He does have a job, but it's a very odd one. I have told him multiple times to change his job. He doesn't even get proper pay. I suggested that he join Ibex or a call centre, but he has a long list of reasons why he doesn't want to.
At the same time, he has a very strong ambition to give me a good life. He is saving money to buy gold for investment and dreams of buying a house because he doesn't want me to live in the same house where his father lives. Whenever he has even a small amount of money, he spends it on me without thinking twice. He always tries to make me happy in every way he can.
He gives me pick and drop from my home to my job and then from my job to my university. His office starts one hour later than my job. After dropping me at work,he waits at a nearby dhabba until it is time for his office to open. He does this every day without complaining.
Whenever I am under pressure because of my studies or exams, he stays with me, calms me down, and helps me through everything. He always does the bare minimum things perfectly. He never fails to cheer me up whenever I am upset or stressed.
In my family, everyone is educated. Most of them have PhDs or master's degrees, and many are doctors or work in the IT field. He doesn't even know basic English.
My mother caught me with him twice, and she only said, "Stay away from him. We can't marry you to someone who isn't of our status." At that time, I didn't understand what my mother meant, but as time has passed, her words have started making sense.
He doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't even have money for basic things. He doesn't go to the gym. He doesn't take proper care of his physical appearance he doesn't trim his beard or get regular haircuts. His tanning is getting worse. I feel embarrassed in front of my friends whenever he came to pick me up from university and I asked him multiple times not to come but he just want me save and sound and he don't want kah mujhy local ke dhke khne pare so he came by himself.
He is very hardworking. His father is not with him anymore; he married someone else. My boyfriend runs his entire household. Sometimes I even help him financially. Even when we go out to eat, I usually pay.
His dressing sense is also not good. I am stuck. I am trying my best to help him get a job at Domino's. He listened to me and completed his intermediate exams, but there is a difference between studying because someone forces you and studying because you genuinely want to. He is not educated enough.
The other thing is that he is very emotional. He doesn't go to anyone when life gets heavy. He doesn't talk much, and he doesn't even openly talk to his mother because of his busy schedule. He always comes to me whenever he is struggling. I mostly saw his puffy eyes that he might cry at night .. when I ask him forcefully he told me he is alot of zimadri he can't handle these .. I motivate him .. but still be is too young to face all this
Leaving him halfway through this journey doesn't feel like the right thing to do. But at the same time, I don't think I can spend my whole life like this. My life has only just started. How can I marry someone like this?
I even talked to my mother about doing a nikah next year until my father returns from abroad. I have heard that nikah opens the doors of rizq. But due to his financial condition. Nikkah karlon ? Aur phr yeh sab aisi chlta reha to?
One more thing: he doesn't pray Salah. I have told him many times, but he doesn't listen. He starts praying for some time and then stops again.
(I need proper advice. What should I do now? How can I fix him)
