27/07/2026
๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฅ๐: ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ฒ๐๐ก๐จ-๐๐จ๐๐ข๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ, ๐
๐๐ข๐ญ๐ก, ๐๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐-๐
๐ซ๐๐ ๐
๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐จ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฌ
๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฏ. ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐ข๐๐ฎ๐ฌ, ๐๐ก๐
When I was a kid, there was a bully in my neighborhood. I was older than he, but he was physically bigger and stronger than I. I always dread the time when, on an errand, I had to pass by his house, as he would threaten me and punch me in the face. It was an ordeal to face him, and his presence would terrorize me. However, the bully, due to his aggressive and violent ways, was not the most popular kid on the block. Oftentimes, he was left out in the games we played, and nobody wanted to play with him. I was of a different nature. I was friendly with most kids, and even when I was already in high school, I still played with the younger kids and was the de facto leader in my neighborhood. It was always a hassle for me if there were fights, especially with the boys, and as much as possible, I avoided conflicts, preferring to be friendly with everyone.
One day, as we were starting a game, we could not begin because we were one kid short. Seeing the bully around, I invited him to play with us. I did not know what came over me during that time, but in order to have fun and start our game, we needed someone to play with us. Despite the animosity and obvious fear towards the bully, it did not stop me from inviting him over so all of us kids could start our game and have fun. Eventually, the bully became my friend, and even when the adults began coaxing us to fight one another for their amusement, he would always say that it was not a fair fight, as he was physically bigger than I.
Eventually, I found out why he was violent. His parents are separated, and his mother used to beat him when he misbehaved or did not follow her commands. As he cannot fight against her mother, he probably used all his pent-up energy on beating kids smaller than him. I believed his violent tendencies were learned at home and applied to the other kids who could not fight back.
Reflecting on this incident, the key to overcoming violence begins at home. Children begin to learn and adapt in their primary home environment. While no one can have a perfect family atmosphere, if my neighborhood bully had not been beaten by his mother so often, he might not have learned to be violent. Still, we cannot choose who are parents are, just as the bully was in an unfortunate circumstance of a toxic home environment, the community around him can still make a difference. I believe I was just an instrument in his development, but a community where everyone is needed, and how friends can have a positive influence in overcoming violent tendencies. This is just an example of how kids learn and unlearn habits during play. While at the beginning the bully, due to his violent tendencies, was shunned by the other kids, being invited to join by no less than the victim gave him the opportunity to adapt to a more positive behavior.
Looking back, I never really knew why he stopped bullying me. Maybe because he recognized the influence I had on the other kids and decided to be nice so he could continue to be part of the group of playmates. Perhaps he recognized the fear I felt when he started bullying me, which is the same fear when an adult beat him up. It could also be true in my case, despite the fear I felt towards the bully, seeing him all alone, unable to play with the kids, allowed me to have compassion and gave me the courage to invite him into our game. The opportunity to empathize with each otherโs pain is a critical key component in a violence-free community. Where the bully and the victim can see themselves in the other and break free from the cycle of violence. In the end, we all have the potential to become bullies and victims. It is only when connecting on a deeper level of awareness of who we are in relation to the other that we can develop genuine empathy with one another.
