Manaaki Whānau: Caring for Families Through Addiction

Manaaki Whānau: Caring for Families Through Addiction "Manaaki Whānau: Caring for Families Through Addiction" MANAWATU

A safe space of lived experience to talk about our loved ones addiction.

Tonight we came back to fact vs feeling, intention, and reframing our kōrero. 💜Instead of: “I can’t have drugs, or else ...
06/10/2026

Tonight we came back to fact vs feeling, intention, and reframing our kōrero. 💜

Instead of: “I can’t have drugs, or else I’ll die.”

We can reframe the intention:
“I am consciously choosing to live well.”

Same reality — completely different energy behind the kōrero. One is driven by fear and restriction; the other is driven by intention, empowerment and what we actually want to move towards.

🌱 What are we planting?
Are we planting kaka from a kaka intention 💩 — or are we planting something that can actually bear fruit?

We also explored that emotions aren’t good or bad — they just are. Anger can become a superpower for change. Sadness can help us release.

I used my pen metaphor 🖊️ — pushing one emotion away might seem manageable. But imagine pushing away 50 pens every day for 20 or 30 years. Then we remove the drugs, alcohol, avoidance or whatever we used to cope… and suddenly there are 10,000 pens at our feet.

Emotional intelligence gives us the buckets to start sorting those pens — anger, sadness, joy, abandonment, fear, disgust, lust — until something overwhelming becomes something we can actually understand and work through.

And lastly: learning tools isn’t enough.

How are we implementing them? How are we practising them? How are we turning knowledge into change?

Shift the intention. Reframe the kōrero. Choose to live well. Let go of the old so there is space for something new to grow. 🌱💜

Ngā mihi.

04/10/2026

Tuesday nights 7pm we come together to build on our emotional wellbeing, share with like minded individuals.

This meeting is for anyone seeking wellbeing

Mana Aki Oranga, Emotional Intelligence and Wellbeing Wananga.
Tuesday, 6 Oct • 7:00 – 8:00 pm
Google Meet joining info
Video call link: https://meet.google.com/cpv-nuev-dfz

30/09/2026

Kia ora whānau,

It’s important to look after ourselves by setting healthy boundaries and making time for the things that help us feel whole.

It can sometimes feel difficult or bring up guilty feelings when we make changes to put ourselves first. But caring for yourself is also a selfless act, as your well-being matters too.

Please join us tomorrow night for our whanau meeting from 7pm-8pm

Manaaki Whanau, Caring For Families Through Addiction.
Thursday, 1st October 7pm– 8pm
Google Meet joining info
Video call link: https://meet.google.com/qkk-imaw-diq

28/09/2026

Kia Ora team,

Tuesday night is canceled tonight, we are back on next week our Facilitator has being unwell. If anyone is struggling please reach out to the team at Manaaki Whānau: Caring for Families Through Addiction

See you all next tuesday 💜

21/09/2026

Www.therippleproject.co.nz/mensday

A message to my younger self.

My negative self talk is not mine, I learnt that from those who were meant to keep me safe.

I had to learn the difference between what im feeling and what is fact, and when we have negative self talk, we fill in the gaps with what? With negative.

Now with gratitude and a daily practice of positive self talk and building my emotional intelligence I am writing my new story, one where I can live well.

Mauri Aroha.

16/09/2026

Kia ora whanau,

Supporting loved ones through addiction can bring a mix of feelings this could be the feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally exhausted but the other side of you is still wanting to show that you care and have a strong need to help. It's important to think about what this personally looks like for you, so you can better understand your own needs and boundaries.

Please join us tomorrow night for our whanau meeting from 7pm-8pm

Manaaki Whanau, Caring For Families Through Addiction.
Thursday, 17th September 7pm– 8pm
Google Meet joining info
Video call link: https://meet.google.com/qkk-imaw-diq

16/09/2026

Send a message to learn more

Tonight’s kōrero was about communication, manipulation, boundaries and holding up the mirror.We talked about what happen...
15/09/2026

Tonight’s kōrero was about communication, manipulation, boundaries and holding up the mirror.

We talked about what happens when threats of su***de become a repeated tactic to manipulate whānau—often to have tick bills paid, money handed over or boundaries removed.

We no longer accept that behaviour.

But we also never dismiss a su***de threat. Instead, we respond appropriately to exactly what has been said:

“You have told me you are going to take your life, so we are going to the hospital and waiting for the crisis team.”

That may mean sitting at the hospital for 16, 24 or even 32 hours. Those are the realities many whānau face on the ground. If the threat is genuine, we have taken the right steps to protect their life. If it was intended as manipulation, they are now experiencing the appropriate response to their own words—not receiving money or having everybody surrender to their demands.

That is holding up the mirror.

If they become angry because we followed the proper process, they are angry about the consequences created by their own behaviour. We are no longer arguing, negotiating or being emotionally held hostage. We are saying:

“We heard what you said. We took you seriously. This is what taking you seriously looks like.”

We also explored pain transference. Tonight, one of our whānau spoke about three uncles who had taken their own lives. Su***de does not make pain disappear—it transfers that mamae to the tamariki, parents, siblings, partners and wider whānau who are left carrying it.

That is why we do not gamble with those warning signs. But taking them seriously does not mean allowing them to become a weapon against us.

We also separated fact from feeling. We may feel like we have failed as parents, but that feeling is not automatically a fact. One of our whānau is now in his sixties and has chosen to seek wellbeing, unlearn sixty years of harmful patterns and begin doing something different.

It is never too late to heal.

Finally, we talked about becoming facilitators—not teachers—of change.

If we try to push, drag or force someone toward wellbeing, they will usually resist. But when we strengthen our own boundaries, change how we communicate and begin modelling wellbeing, we create something they may eventually want for themselves:

“Dad’s doing really well. I want some of that. What did you do to overcome the drugs?”

That preserves their autonomy. We are not forcing them through the door—we are showing them that the door exists.

Boundaries are not abandonment. Taking a threat seriously is not surrendering to manipulation. Sometimes aroha means holding up the mirror and allowing people to experience the appropriate response to their own behaviour.

15/09/2026

values to actions, better understanding emotions so we can move through them, rather than emotions moving us.

Mana Aki Oranga, Emotional Intelligence and Wellbeing Wananga.
Tuesday, 15 Sept • 7:00 – 8:00 pm
Google Meet joining info
Video call link: https://meet.google.com/cpv-nuev-dfz

15/09/2026

Kia ora whānau,

Our Emotional Intelligence Wānanga is back!

Mana Aki Oranga — 7pm tonight via Google Meet. Free to the community.

A safe, lived-experience space to build our emotional intelligence and learn how to live well.

Mana Aki Oranga, Emotional Intelligence and Wellbeing Wananga.
Tuesday, 15 Sept • 7:00 – 8:00 pm
Google Meet joining info
Video call link: https://meet.google.com/cpv-nuev-dfz

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Manawatu
Palmerston North

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