06/11/2025
📰 DOC Apologises to Rat Community for “Predator Shaming”
Rebrands them as “Alternative Ecosystem Participants.”
WEST COAST, NZ — The Department of Conservation has issued an official apology to the nation’s rat population, acknowledging decades of “systemic predator shaming” and pledging to adopt more inclusive terminology.
In a press release this morning, DOC spokesperson Oliver Klozoff said the term “pest” was being phased out immediately.
“We recognise that rats, stoats, and possums have historically been marginalised through exclusionary language. Going forward, they will be referred to as Alternative Ecosystem Participants — or AEPs — to reflect their valid contributions to biodiversity… even if that contribution is mostly eating it.”
The apology follows a complaint from advocacy group Rodent Voices Aotearoa, who argued that traditional conservation messaging “failed to provide emotional support to omnivorous mammals navigating the modern food web.”
DOC has already begun revising signage nationwide. “Traps” will now read Alternative Pathways to the Afterlife, and poison stations will feature QR codes linking to “rat-centric mindfulness podcasts.”
Local ranger Gus Tofwynde said the change was about respect.
“Instead of killing them, we’ll be holding conflict-resolution hui where rats can express their feelings about habitat boundaries. We might not agree on everything, but it’s important they feel heard before we humanely relocate them… several kilometres into the bush.”
Local resident Anne Talope wasn’t so sure.
“I’ve had three of the ‘Alternative Participants’ in me pantry this week,” she said. “If DOC wants to give them a therapy session, they can do it at my place — just bring traps and snacks.”
DOC has hinted the next inclusivity review will focus on the emotional framing of the term “invasive species,” which they say “implies an unwelcome energy.”
Future proposals include renaming them “Unscheduled Guests of Nature.”