21/08/2026
22/female
I’ve been in a relationship for four years. We’ve been through many ups and downs, and both of our families know about each other. I’ve always imagined marrying him and building a future together. I still want to marry him, and I feel comfortable with him. But lately, I don’t feel comfortable with the way our relationship is going.
I feel like I’m slowly becoming emotionally exhausted. Whenever something hurts me, I try to communicate and ask him to understand or improve his behavior. But he usually says, “I’ve never done anything wrong. You’re the only one who overthinks.” Maybe I do overthink sometimes, and I know I’m not perfect, but I don’t feel heard.
He sometimes talks to girls on Facebook. When I ask about a particular girl, he says she’s just a relative. But when I ask to see their previous conversation, the messages have already been deleted. I don’t know whether I’m overthinking or whether this is something I should genuinely be concerned about.
There are also unresolved things from our past that still hurt me. Whenever I try to discuss them, he often changes the topic and becomes romantic instead. I don’t want romantic conversations when I’m trying to solve our problems. Because of this, I’ve started avoiding calls and sometimes ignoring him.
The confusing part is that I can ignore him for hours because I’m tired, but if I finally talk to him and he ignores me for even two minutes, it still hurts me deeply.
I know I have my own faults too. I’ve ignored him, brought up old issues, expected him to understand me without explaining, and sometimes asked for a breakup out of frustration. I’m willing to work on myself.
I’ve also said no to physical intimacy, but I was told I’m overthinking and that everything would be fine if we started. I know I don’t want to force myself into something I’m not ready for.
The scariest part is that when I imagine staying in this exact relationship for another five years, I don’t feel excited. But I still want to marry him. I feel comfortable with him. I just don’t feel comfortable with the behavior he is showing me right now.
So I’m confused. Am I genuinely overthinking, or are my feelings and boundaries being dismissed? Am I losing feelings for him, or am I simply exhausted?
I don’t want people to simply tell me to leave. I genuinely want honest advice from people who have experienced something similar.
If you were in my place, what would you do next?