18/09/2026
Guys, please don’t skip this if you can 🙏 I genuinely need your advice. Your opinion could help me make a big decision.
I’m 25 girl and this was my first relationship. We were together for around 3 years, and he has been abroad for almost 2 years. His family also knows about our relationship, so this was never just a casual relationship for me. That’s another reason why letting go feels so difficult.
I admit I overthink a lot and sometimes start arguments over small things. My expectations were also simple I wanted a little extra care during my period, a small gesture or gift during festivals, and most importantly, emotional understanding. But I often felt that when I cried or was hurt, it didn’t really affect him.
There was also a much more serious issue. He cheated on me. He said a random/fake looking girl added him, their conversation became romantic, and during a video call she showed her private parts and he showed his too. A few days later she blackmailed him, threatening to send the recording to his friends unless he paid. He was extremely scared and called me saying he would die, etc. At first he didn’t tell me what had happened. He just kept saying things like, I’m going to die and I was really confused and kept asking him politely what happened and what he had done. Finally he told me that because we had a fight, he started talking to another random girl and that’s how everything happened. But At that moment, so many thoughts were going through my mind. I was completely shocked and didn’t know what to do or even what to think. I was just really scared. And I helped him and prayed for him.
Even though I knew what he had done was cheating, I stayed and supported him through the blackmail and gave him another chance. What hurt me most was that he never seemed to understand how serious it was. He said it was basically like watching a p**n video and that it wasn’t really cheating. I kept trying to accept it, but deep down it continued hurting me.
But He has also supported me financially a lot, so I sometimes feel guilty about leaving. But emotionally, I never felt truly understood or fulfilled.
Recently, we had another argument. My period was coming, and I had already told him that around my period I get more emotional and irritated, and I don’t like being triggered even as a joke during that time.
I had also mentioned Teej to him a many times because honestly, I was hoping he would do something small for me or surprise me. I also sharing my friend story, like My friend was also telling me about how her boyfriend was planning something for her, so I think that made me expect something from him even more. I was secretly hoping bcz just 2 days left, he would at least wish me Happy Teej or give me a small gift, but he didn’t really react, and I felt hurt and uncared for. And during this argument he said if you want something from me just say instead of expecting. And don’t argument just like stupid things .
I know I started the argument, and I accept that was my mistake. But during the fight, all my old hurt came out. I told him that he cheated on me and that it still hurts me.
I told him that I felt used after everything that happened, but Instead of understanding why I felt that way, he brought up how we first met and said that I was the one who asked him to meet.
But actually he approached me first and I rejected him. But later after we started talking more and got closer, I also wanted to meet him, so I agreed. On the day we were supposed to meet, I was already on my way and almost there when I called him. He said he wasn’t ready yet, so I told him I had already arrived. He asked me to wait and said he would come, so I waited.
But now he told me that he actually didn’t want to come that day and had only said it casually, and that I was the one who later asked him to meet.
I never expected he said like that now and during this argument when I was trying to explain how hurt and used I felt. It made me feel like instead of understanding me, he was just trying to put the blame back on me.
And he said many things and main thing Don’t come back after 10/12 days crying and expecting things to be the same. I have my own life to build, and I don’t want to keep dealing with these small arguments and complaints. If you want something, just tell me directly, even a gift, just ask for it. But if you’re not going to change this habit, then don’t message me anymore, Those words hurt me even more, and I also promised him that I would never come back again. I blocked him but deep down, I still had some hope that he will message on teej say sorry through email because he had done that before whenever I blocked him. But he didn’t. But a part of me still hopes that he’ll change and things will be different. At the same time, I’m scared that if I go back to him, I’ll in the same place again crying, overthinking, and hurting myself over the same things.
The hardest part is that this was my first love, and I gave almost three years of my life to this relationship. It wasn’t just a normal relationship, we shared a deeper level of intimacy, Honestly this was one of the main reasons I kept compromising and kept choosing to stay. Before We had planned to go abroad together, but unfortunately, it didn’t work out at that time. Later, the plan was for him to come to Nepal, get married, and then go together. I still love him. I still miss him. And right now I am finding it extremely difficult to focus on anything else.
And He is coming to Nepal in about a month, Part of me is hopeful he’ll come back and if he actually change ,but another part is scared bcz how to know he is actually changed , but i am also scared he may apologize, cry, remind me of everything he has done for me, and I may become emotionally weak and go back again.
I still love him and this was my first relationship, so moving on is extremely difficult. But honestly, I don't think I want a future with someone who cannot meet my basic emotional needs and who didn't understand how deeply his cheating affected me.
I also have some of his belongings/gifts and I’m thinking of returning them through his friend so there is no expectation that I will come back, and also i just want him to realize that I’m actually serious about leaving this time.
Was I wrong to consider what he did cheating? Was it actually normal as he told me ? I manipulated into accepting something that was actually a serious betrayal? And am I doing the right thing by letting this relationship end even though I still love him, his family knows about us, and our relationship not like normal and he has financially supported me?
Guys, I genuinely need your advice. What would you do specially girls if you were in my place and what do you think would be best for me?
