16/05/2026
When husband died, we we living in our family house. My husband was the last born. His eldest brother working with the government was living in the city capital with his wife.
My parents inlaws are dead. Being a teacher teaching in the next village I was living in our home town with my two kids in the two bedroom part of the family house while my brother inlaw and his family occupied the 3 bedroom as we had common sitting room.
Three months after my husband burial, my brother in-law came visiting home which was not unusual but the his visit unlike before was uncomfortable as he stayed home all weekend. Usually when he visit he had loads of activities going out only to come later at night to sleep.
I remember my husband often complaining of him coming late and expecting him to discuss one or two family issues or sometimes not available for them to discuss.
By Monday morning, he informed he was coming back. By the next month he repeated the visit and enquired if I am going to do a 6 months anniversary of my husband, I told him no that it will be one year.
He didn't come again till the 11th month and this time bought 2 loaves of bread for my children. Like the his previous one he was indoor all days. On leaving sunday evening he told me he will be coming back in two weeks so that we'll plan on the one year outing.
Two weeks I asked? I was already getting very uncomfortable, his all home sitting in the living keeps out in my friends home and maintaining the meal a day, a culture we had with my husband was becoming a task. My brother in-law was naturally gifted with stinginess known and confirmed even by his wife.
Yes, he asked or don't want us to do it? It's not that I do not but it is not a big deal, I will only go to church and my fellowship team will come home and pray with me, so you do not have to take off duty leave because of it beside I have Agnes here. Agnes is my sister in-law who is married. He didn't say anything and left.
He didn't come till Friday as usual. I was able to make a small pot of rice, bought soft drinks with a cartoon of biscuits. After church service, we have few people especially from the church to pray with us.
Later that early night, I had a small poultry at the back of our compound. As usual I went to check up on them before going finally to bed, on return through the passage I bumped into my brother in-law, who tried to hold me by the waist. Confused and surprised, I pushed him away. Coming further he tried to kiss me. In anger I slapped his face and pushed so hard he almost fell as I ran out into my room and locked the door with my kids looking at me.
What happened mommy my eldest 12 years asked, nothing I think I saw something, close the windows I told her. The next day he left without telling us goodbye. I told my mother what happened, my mother told my elder who immediately rented a house for me in the neighbouring village where I was teaching and went told me to pack out immediately.
My brother in-law is now spreading stories of how I abandoned the family house because I want freedom and that he is going to rent my rooms to have someone looking after the compound. The sha is plenty as there's a division; so are saying it is wrong and irresponsible of me so he should go ahead and others are saying he shouldn't, that is wickedness to chase his brother's wife away from the family house because renting out means she will never come there to sleep.
I'm a bit worried about the whole thing but family insist I get involved, that I should face my job and raising my kids and let us watch what he'll do especially as my rooms are lock with my keys. I still go there to clean up often, having given out my chicken out.
Being widowed is a real life changing and relearning journey. I thank God for family and friends who are supporting and encouraging us. God bless you all.
