11/11/2024
*0pening of Mourning House By Ekid-Speaking People: A Necessity or an Additional Financial Burden During Burial*?
~By Unwana Assam
In the Ekid-speaking communities of Akwa Ibom State, just as in other tribes in Nigeria, burial traditions are deeply ingrained, with ceremonies designed to honour the deceased and bring closure to families. Among these funeral traditions is the "Opening of a Mourning House," which usually occurs one week before the burial. This week-long event is filled with various funeral rites to honour the deceased.
This age-old tradition typically takes place on a Sunday. Preparations begin that morning with the decoration of the house and the entire compound. In most cases, the home of the deceased is renovated/repainted prior to this funeral practice. A DJ is often hired to entertain guests for the day. In families with many female members, food and condiments are purchased in the market, and the family prepares the food themselves. Families who prefer to avoid the kitchen work and stress may hire chefs to cater the food.
The mourning house event extends beyond the food and decorations. As expected, both invited and uninvited guests gather, as no one would attend such an event simply to sit idly and stare at each other. In our milieu, Itโs common for uninvited guests to outnumber those formally invited in events where food and drinks are anticipated. The family must also provide drinks such as beer, minerals, water, and alcoholic drinks, to entertain everyone.
On the traditional side, community chiefs and elders will attend, dressed in their customary attire. Some wear wrappers and others caftans or formal attire, all appearing serious and prepared to partake in the food and drinks provided. To accommodate this, families are often expected to slaughter goats, or even a cow if they have the financial means, to meet the traditional expectations of honouring the deceased.
The day of the mourning house opening often resembles a celebration rather than a somber remembrance. It's not uncommon for the atmosphere to feel more festive, like a marriage anniversary or child dedication, rather than a tribute to a deceased loved one.
Throughout the week-long funeral events, the day for the Opening of Mourning House is a designated day for friends, relatives, and community members to gather, pay their respects, eat, drink, dance, and celebrate before the burial. The actual burial typically takes place on a Saturday or Friday, depending on arrangements between the family and the church to conduct the burial.
While this practice holds social significance, it often leads attendees to leave with remarks such as, "The family really tried," "The family must have money," or "Who sponsored the burial?", "There was no food and drinks in that event", depending on how the ceremony was. This social aspect of the event can present a substantial financial challenge for families, pushing some to incur debts simply to meet societal expectations, thereby using it for bragging rights.
Given the financial strain of such events, many are now questioning: Is the opening of mourning houses truly a necessary tradition to honour the deceased, or has it become an additional financial burden on grieving families?
For this article, and based on insights from those with deep and vast knowledge of Ekid customs and tradition, itโs clear that while the opening of mourning house fosters communal support and shared grief, it holds no traditional significance or cultural necessity beyond the financial burden it places on families.
However, In Ekid tradition, if an individual of advanced age passes awayโwhether male or female, the family is expected to conduct full funeral rites. This becomes even more important if the deceased had participated in the funeral rites of others and had received items like yam, goats, s***f, kola, or drinks. In this case, itโs essential that the community gathers to honour them in return. Neglecting this could lead to traditional consequences and it's often sudden and tragic.
As Ekid-speaking families continue to navigate the complexities of mourning practices, balancing cultural and social expectations, itโs important to recognize that the Sunday "Opening of Mourning House" holds no deep meaning for either the deceased or traditional beliefs. Instead, it has evolved into a means of fulfilling societal standards and gaining recognition. For many, this practice leads to unnecessary financial debt and regret.
Comrade Unwana Assam is a journalist, publisher of Newsline9ja Blog, good governance advocate, and writes from Idung Uya Ntak Inyang in Esit Eket LGA.
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