15/08/2026
When religious leaders, parents and family members protect perpetrators instead of holding them accountable, they become part of the cycle.
“Forgive him.”
“Fast and pray.”
“Think about the family.”
“Don’t expose him.”
“Watch War Room.”
But, where are the consequences for the person who abused their partner?
Why are victims often pressured to endure, while perpetrators are protected from the consequences of their actions?
Accountability is not the enemy of forgiveness and forgiveness does not mean there should be no consequences.
If someone is repeatedly abusive, tell them to get help. Anger management. Therapy. Behavioural intervention. Whatever is necessary to address the problem.
STOP asking victims to keep surviving what everyone else refuses to confront.
This is one of the uncomfortable realities explored in my book, Masks and Cycles (Breaking the Cycles of Abuse).
Protecting the perpetrator does not protect the family. It protects the cycle.