14/08/2026
My beautiful boy, Zephania.....
Today it has been 1 year since you have been away from my arms... 365 days that you have already been PERFECTLY healed and healthy!!
And here I am, still struggling...
It was a difficult year for me with many challenges! So much happened every day, so many new babies, but also so many sick babies who needed my attention. But, never, ever could I forget... 365 sunsets, and every single day I thought of you!! This morning at 04:00 AM, I was almost on the other side of the earth inside an aeroplane, but, with soaking wet cheeks, I relived the day Jesus came to fetch you, when I couldn't be there!! In an instant, you were NEW and WHOLE and HOLY!!
I GRANT YOU HEAVEN with every ounce of my being, little Zephania, with my WHOLE HEART, even though it is broken... it is better that I have a broken heart than for you to have a broken little body!! I still don't understand any of it, but I will blindly and always keep trusting!! God remains GOOD and He is SO GOOD TO ME!! I miss your soft little body and hands, but now you are healthy forever! I am SO incredibly grateful that the Lord granted you to be with me for a little while, and even though I could do nothing to make anything better, I will forever rejoice that you were mine and that I could love you so freely and so much!! You came to teach me so much... I still pray that the Lord will show me in a dream what you look like now, perfectly healed, forever and ever...
I want to change Isaiah 33:17 just a little bit...
"Now your eyes see the King in ALL His Beauty!!"
How privileged, little Zephania.... I am humbly jealous...